Bride or die

Business Insider

2 days ago

Before Layalie Cubina's company sold balloons that spell BRIDE, sparkle hair clips that say BABE, and heart-shaped sunglasses, her garage was home to thousands of penis straws. Cubina and her husband, Brandon, who started by selling baby bedding on Amazon as a side gig, noticed there was a swelling demand for the phallic straws and ordered them en masse in various colors in 2018. They hoped to make enough money so that one of them could stay home with their kids, she tells me, figuring they could open an Etsy shop to sell them.
But the demand for bachelorette decor and merch became so strong that they're both working on the business full-time (she left a career in IT in medicine, he in recruiting) and have added all the bachelorette decor you can imagine: sashes, garland backdrops, and balloons arranged to say "same penis forever" and "last disco." Their Etsy alone shop has fulfilled nearly 157,000 orders since 2018, and they also sell directly from their company anibucco. Cubina says she now gets inquiries from bridesmaids asking for help curating and decorating for a vibe, the women nervous about picking the right mylar balloons and tinsel to represent the bride. The parties evolved into "a pre-wedding because of how massive they've become," Cubina tells me.
Prepping for a bachelorette party these days doesn't just mean throwing bikinis and ibuprofen in a bag: There's the custom five-by-eight foot sign, the groom's head glued to popsicle sticks, the custom temporary tattoos, genitalia-shaped glitter confetti, and the matching T-shirts and tote bags commemorating Susie's "last toast on the coast!" if you're headed for Cape Cod, or her "last rodeo" in cowboy boots in Nashville before she "saddles up" for marriage. Over the past decade, the bachelorette party has become nearly as anticipated — and sometimes as expensive — as the big wedding day.
And the bridesmaids are exasperated: What was once a night out on the town has morphed into dayslong vacations where women who haven't all met before must join forces and throw a mini-Coachella to prove their love and loyalty for the bride. Just turn to TikTok to see the ongoing debate as to whether a bride is an absolute monster for asking a dozen friends to go to Greece and wear matching outfits, or if that's totally within her rights as the bride-to-be. (These should, in theory, be one-in-a-lifetime events, after all.)
It's not just money for plane tickets, a spot in a cramped Airbnb, party bus, bottomless brunches, and bottle service at clubs. Friends of the bride are responsible for merch and decor and finding some unforgettable experience to tack on — and there is lots to choose from. There are Instagrammable backdrops with balloon arches, inflatable engagement ring innertubes for pool parties, and all of the personalized water bottles, bags, T-shirts, cups, and banners. There are cabana boys and Hibachi chefs for hire, allowing bachelorettes to turn poolside hangs into luxury experiences. Social media has amped up expectations for all wedding-related events from proposals to "I dos," and the boom of short-term rentals paired with more spending on travel have created a perfect set of conditions for an era of extreme bachelorette parties. It's bolstered a whole new subset of the economy, from concierge services to Etsy decor to shirtless men for hire by the hour.
What was once a night out on the town has morphed into days-long vacations where women who haven't all met before must join forces and throw a mini-Coachella to prove their love and loyalty for the bride.
The global bachelorette planning industry is booming, worth an estimated $650 million in 2024, according to research firm Business Research Insights. Bach, an app for planning the parties, raised $9 million in a Series A round in 2023. An attendee on the average bachelorette party pays around $1,300, according to a 2023 survey from wedding website The Knot, a figure that has jumped by $600 since 2019. (The average bachelor party attendee pays about $1,500, as men are more likely to travel to costly cities like New York or Las Vegas, and more likely to stay in hotels instead of crowding into Airbnbs.) One in 10 partygoers shells out more than $3,000. A 2021 Lending Tree survey found that a third of bridal party members went into debt for a friend's wedding, with women slightly more likely to do so (35% of bridesmaids went into debt compared to 30% of groomsmen). Nearly 60% of bridesmaids also said they "felt pressured" to spend money, compared to 43% of groomsmen. I'm guilty of opening a new travel perks credit card and spending $4,000 in three months to acquire enough points to fund my flight for my best friend's bachelorette last summer, while also losing hours of my time and my sanity trying to book a bright pink party bus in Madrid without speaking fluent Spanish.
And it's bachelorette party culture that gets blamed for reshaping cities like Scottsdale and Nashville. Bars are overrun with groups of partying women and streets are filled with pedal pubs. Casey Lozano, owner and founder of Scottsdale Bachelorette, had the idea to start working a concierge service for bachelorette parties rolling through the city in 2018. He had local expertise and thought he could give groups the best recommendations, but saw that the parties also could benefit from services like decorating or having their fridges stocked with snacks and White Claws, all ready upon arrival (the average party might spend about $900 on the concierge services, Lozano says). As the bachelorette scene grew, Lozano left his career in tech to turn the side hustle into a full-time business. Scottsdale Bachelorette now pulls in $1 million in annual revenue, and he's hired 16 employees (five full-time, himself included) — he needs lots of hands during peak bachelorette season, when they may have 30 or 40 Airbnbs to deck out on any given Thursday or Friday.
Lozano had never been to a bachelor or bachelorette party when he started the business. His only expertise came from knowing the Scottsdale scene and being a gay man with lots of female friends and an eye for interior design, he says. Lozano watched videos about balloon art and started stocking up on decor for popular themes like "Scottsdale before the veil" and "final fiesta." But trends are changing, and the theme requests are getting more original, like "The Princess Diaries" or " Shrek," Lozano tells me. The "final fiesta" theme, he says, is in its own final days. Cubina says the more things change, the more they stay the same — she's seeing more demand for a Pink Pony Club theme a la Chapelle Roan, but that's basically just a spin on a disco or a cowgirl theme, those same pink backdrops, disco ball balloons, and cowgirl boots coming back together.
"There's a lot on the line" for bridesmaids, says Casey Lozano, founder of Scottsdale Bachelorette.
Stephanie Spingler started her Etsy shop, Sassy & Co., in 2017 as an artistic side hustle while studying for her graduate degree in organic chemistry. She's sold some 17,000 orders, and still makes designs for plastic cups that pull inspiration from "Mamma Mia" or food puns (about the bride taking "a pizza his heart" or getting "scooped up"). The demand for these new designs is driven by people wanting to have "an Instagram and TikTok-worthy bachelorette that's really curated by the custom decor." Making everything custom with the bride's name and taste is a way to make the bride really feel like the festival headliner, gaining all of the attention from the women she loves most. "They are hoping and desiring to have that love, to have that warm and inviting party feel from their friends," she says.
The parties may look like three days of drinking and debauchery, but there's often immense pressure for bridesmaids to pull off the perfect bachelorette trip. "There's a lot on the line" for bridesmaids and friends attending, Lozano says. "This is someone you care a lot about." As people start to have families, it's harder to get all the girls on a trip. "This may be the last time that they're able to do that together. Making her feel celebrated and making the most of that trip — to make core memories that will last a lifetime — is the goal."
Gen Z brides might want something different than the themes and extravagance set in place by millennials, but that doesn't mean the bachelorette trip will die. Cubina says she thinks the parties over time will "not be as big, but I do think they'll always celebrate in one shape or form." I'm one of the women fully in my bachelorette era — I've attended four in less than two years, planning two of them. I expect to get invites to at least that many more over the next two years. Some of the merch and goodies and disco balls might get reused from one to the next. I've become a pro at making survival kits of Liquid IV and Advil, breaking out my average graphic design skills in Canva to make custom itineraries, and estimating the right amount of alcohol to stock up on. It's a modern ritual that does seem to really mean something to my friends. And hey, one day, it'll be on them to return the favor and prove their love for me by painstakingly hanging carefully coordinated streamers and balloons.