I was trapped in an abusive relationship at 16, now I'm demanding schools protect teenagers better

Independent

6 hours ago

A young woman who survived an abusive relationship as a teenager has called for education on domestic abuse and coercive behaviour to be made mandatory for sixth form and college students.
Faustine Petron was just aged 16 when she became trapped in a coercive relationship with a fellow college student.
When her former partner eventually received a prison sentence for stalking and harassment, she found herself reflecting on the lack of education and resources available for teenagers between the ages of 16 and 18.
'Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) is mandatory from primary until the end of secondary school, but when you turn 16 there's no longer any access to these lessons,' she told The Independent.
'It doesn't make sense to leave out that key group when the average age a person has their first sexual experience is 16. It's illogical.'
Current compulsory sex education ends when pupils finish their GCSEs at the age of 16, despite data from the Office for National Statistics showing that women and men aged 16 to 19 were the most likely of any age group to experience domestic abuse.
Now studying a Masters in Sociology at the University of Cambridge, her petition, which has been signed by more than 105,000 participants, has received cross-party support and was delivered to No10 Downing Street on Monday afternoon.
For Ms Petron, her teenage boyfriend had begun exhibiting abusive behaviour by controlling her movements, which began with him constantly checking on her location.
Now aged 25, she believes that she may have been able to spot the warning signs sooner if the topic had been addressed by her college.
'I looked back at my school experience, I never had lessons on what coercive control is. How to identify it and how to get help,' she said.
'Starting the Make It Mandatory petition and seeing it gain such support has been really positive for me,' she added. 'It's been vulnerable and difficult doing it with lived experience as it rehashes memories but I know I'm just trying to make it better.'
It comes after a report in April found that misogyny was becoming an increasing topic of concern within schools, with young boys becoming influenced by controversial figures such as Andrew Tate on social media.
A report by Women's Aid found that children who consumed misogynistic social media content were almost five times more likely to view hurting someone physically as acceptable if you say sorry afterwards.
Meanwhile, one in three women said they found the relationship and sex education they had in school as rushed and awkward, and a third (35 per cent) of 18-25-year-old respondents recalled no education about controlling behaviours throughout school.
Lucy Emmerson, chief executive of the Sex Education Forum, which has supported the petition, said:'Extending RSE up to age of 18 is a natural next step to build on mandatory lessons in primary and secondary school.
'Young people have called for this extension because they know just how important relationships education is for them as they approach adulthood. The research evidence backs up their call, showing that education helps prevent sexual violence, abuse and poor sexual health.
'With over 100, 000 signatories to Make it Mandatory's petition and with cross-party support from parliamentarians, the Sex Education Forum calls on Government to close the gap in legislation by guaranteeing RSE to all students up to the age of 18 in further education.'
Joining Ms Petron in delivering her petition were domestic abuse campaigner David Challen and Carole Gould, who lost her teenage daughter Ellie after she was stabbed by her 17-year-old ex-boyfriend.
Having previously voiced support for the campaign, Liberal Democrat MP Layla Moran said: "Faustine and the team at Make it Mandatory are inspirational, and I have been honoured to be able to campaign alongside them and amplify their voices.
'The 16-19 group is an at-risk age group, and there is a black hole in RSE education for this group currently. The government should do much more to ensure that our young people are able to identify the early signs of abuse and seek the relevant support."
Gemma Sherrington, CEO of Refuge, said: 'Domestic abuse can affect people of any age, but younger generations are too often overlooked. With older teenagers experiencing shockingly high rates of abuse, mandatory RSE lessons could offer a lifeline for young survivors.
'The government has pledged to halve violence against women and girls (VAWG) in the next decade, but this cannot be achieved without improved education. Empowering young people to spot the signs of domestic abuse could help break the cycle before it begins, while also showing young survivors that support is out there.
'No matter your age, if you are experiencing domestic abuse, or are concerned about a loved one, know that you are not alone. Refuge's 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline is available on 0808 2000 247, and our confidential live chat is accessible online via www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk.'
A government spokesperson said: 'All abuse is abhorrent, and this government is determined to root it out as part of our mission to halve violence against women and girls in a decade through our Plan for Change.
'As part of our review of the relationships, sex and health curriculum, the Education Secretary has been clear that she will ensure children are learning the skills they need to build positive, healthy relationships, right from primary school.
'More widely we are considering every option to fundamentally transform the system and address the issue of domestic abuse head on, and that includes everything from supporting victims to looking at whether we need to change the law.'