CRAIG BROWN: From Doritos to Yobbos via Fomo, your 'fabulos' guide to the Greek Islands
Once they have been to Doritos, visitors just keep coming back. 'I only wish I could stop myself, but I can't,' says frequent visitor Charles Large. The island is made up of a variety of small, almost imperceptible ingredients, including disodium inosinate, lactic acid, monosodium glutamate and whey protein concentrate.
YOBBOS
The annual Yobbos Festival grows bigger and bolder each year. Sports events include hurling, in which teams from the different regions compete to throw litter far and wide, and lavericrosse, in which competitors exchange abuse with one another. The Tate brothers, Andrew and Tristan, are long-time residents, and Liam Gallagher is a frequent visitor. A statue of the Oasis singer, constructed from old beer cans, welcomes travellers to the port with open fingers.
SERIOS
Those in search of somewhere to catch up on a 2,000-page epic poem translated from the original Finnish or a three-volume biography of Keir Hardie should head for the shady isle of Serios.
Professor Geoffrey Beardie has been visiting Serios for the past quarter-century. 'I greatly value the dignified way the islanders greet one at the dockside with garlands constructed from old copies of the London Review Of Books,' he says.
Restaurant dishes are lentil-based and served with tap water. The traditional breakfast is unbuttered bread and a glass of hot water with lemon. At happy hour, islanders meet in the square to discuss global warming.
FOMO
Of all the Greek Islands, Fomo must surely be the best-kept secret. 'We welcome all visitors,' says Mayor Kleptokrasi, 'But we only tell a select number of them what's going on.'
'I heard from someone who knows everybody who is anybody that there's a secret barbecue happening somewhere on the nicer side of the island later today,' says Mia Mistaki. 'But no one seems to know where the nicer side of the island is. Or, if they do, they're keeping very quiet about it.'
The hottest ticket at the main theatre this year is for an exclusive performance of a play that hasn't been named; VIP members bought all the tickets even before it was written. The top hotel, booked out years in advance, is the VVIP, which is behind closely-guarded gates. 'Everybody welcome,' says the brochure, 'other than you.'
CEOS
Aerial views of Ceos revealed that it is the only island in the world to be formed entirely of superyachts.
'Our visitors are very busy men who relish the opportunity to anchor within bragging distance of other very busy men, without the need to subject themselves to all the unnecessary fuss of being dropped off on land and having to mix with hoi polloi,' explains the mayor, whose official residence is a small but colourful dinghy.
'What I love about Ceos,' says entrepreneur Philip Green, 'is that just a few yards from my superyacht I know there will always be another multi-millionaire ready to talk business, or to watch me demonstrate the new lighting system in my exclusive onboard discotheque.
'It's a place I always come, just to get away from it all and talk about how the main saloon lounge, designed in Brazilian rosewood with mother of pearl finishes, comes in at nearly 600 sq m, or 700 if you include the special golf training area.'
SLOMO
It's as though the clocks have all stopped on the sun-soaked island of Slomo (motto 'In My Own Time') where inhabitants and visitors alike move at the pace of the celebrated mascot, the Tortoise, if they move at all.
The luggage carousel at Slomo airport operates at the speed of a yard an hour, other than at busy periods, when it slows down to 18 inches per hour.
The only cafe operates a 'first come last served' system. It's worth booking the sweet trolley in advance – we suggest two or three days' notice – as the elderly waiters take care to wheel it to five wrong tables before arriving at the correct destination.
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37 minutes ago
- The Guardian
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Scottish Sun
3 hours ago
- Scottish Sun
I tried the new Omaze-style draw for superyacht holidays and lived like a billionaire for a £10 raffle ticket
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Having been worried about forgetting my shampoo, it quickly becomes apparent that at this level of luxury, everything is taken care of. 11 Samantha sips champagne in the top deck jacuzzi 11 Posing from a superyacht pretty much guarantees that you'll be winning at Instagram, says Samantha 11 With the launch of Anchord's prize draw, anyone can win a week aboard the yacht 11 Taking in the stunning view from the top deck of a yacht is no longer exclusive to the super rich Spoilt like a celebrity There are shaving kits, toothbrushes, sun hats and sun lotion in a choice of factors. There is even a yoga mat and a foam roller to ease any muscle soreness after an invigorating swim. There are windows - or portholes - in both my bedroom and my bathroom. It means I can see the sea as I shower, and this turns out to be a uniquely enjoyable experience. It has spoilt me for all other bathrooms, as I would now like surrounding-sea-views for all my showers. Heading back upstairs, I'm told that we'll be anchoring in a bay near Aigina, one of the Saronic Islands just off the Greek mainland, in the Saronic Gulf. Here we will be doing watersports with the smorgasbord of equipment that is somehow tidily tucked away on board - despite the fact that even Stacey Solomon and the Sort Your Life Out team would struggle to fit it all in a double garage. As a G&T is handed to me on the sun deck, it strikes me that this stratospheric level of being looked after is one that I would love to get used to But first we're having lunch, and as I enter the dining room, I suspect we may have a stowaway in the form of interior design guru Kelly Hoppen, who's snuck on board to do the tablescaping. It turns out it's one of the stewards, whose attention to detail would probably see them stacking up followers on Instagram, and somehow they conjure up an entirely new tablescape for every meal. The food? Well, as I'm sure you've guessed by now, there is an excellent chef on board. He serves platters of freshly cut fruit, makes the best tzatziki I've ever eaten, and even panders to my poached egg preferences. I would like to take him home, and I consider downloading Happn, the dating app that shows you nearby singles - perhaps this could be the route to keeping him in my kitchen? Then I come to my senses as it dawns on me that he'd be unlikely to give up his life on a superyacht just to make my dinner. However, as a G&T is handed to me on the sun deck, it strikes me that this stratospheric level of being looked after is one that I would love to get used to. So if you'd like to spend a week being spoilt like a celebrity, here's how… Just £10 enters you into Anchord's raffle for a week-long holiday, and it won't be lonely at the top (…deck!) because the prize is for six - with everyone's food and booze included, as well as a £5,000 voucher to pay for flights and transfers. 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And living the life of a celeb doesn't stop with a week on the yacht, because winners also get the kind of philanthropist kudos that comes with being a celebrity benefactor like Angelina Jolie, Dolly Parton, and George and Amal Clooney. Why? Because for every raffle, a minimum of £10,000 will be donated to the children's hospice Naomi House & Jacksplace, with an additional sum being donated to a hospice in each winner's local area. Having spent a night on the Daloli as a guest, I know that in the future when I picture myself on a superyacht, I won't see myself emptying bathroom bins of soiled loo roll in the manner of a stressed steward in Below Deck. Instead, I'll have flashbacks to sipping champers in the top deck jacuzzi, while the chef prepares me a fresh seafood barbeque and a handsome crew member invites me for a spin on a jet ski. I'm feeling optimistic that this experience will raise my manifesting game - so much so that I imagine it's only a matter of time until the Law of Attraction works its magic and I sail off on another superyacht… Raffle tickets are available at 11 Samantha gets ready for some watersports 11 She adds: 'I'm feeling optimistic that this experience will raise my manifesting game'
The Sun
3 hours ago
- The Sun
I tried the new Omaze-style draw for superyacht holidays and lived like a billionaire for a £10 raffle ticket
AS I shake the hand of Captain Harry, the blue-eyed Greek god in command of this luxury superyacht, I wonder if this is the first time he's welcomed aboard a guest wearing a dress from Primark. This Mediterranean -based boat costs upwards of 100,000 euros a week to rent (or 'charter' to use the yachty term) - so what am I doing on it, in an old H&M bikini and sunglasses I got for free with a magazine? 11 I mean, who do we usually see on superyachts? Celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Beyonce, The Beckhams, Kylie Jenner, Kendall Jenner, and billionaire Jeff Bezos with his fiance Lauren Sanchez, all clad in designer clobber that costs more than I'd be able to spend on a holiday itself. Yet here I am, in a nautical striped bargain that I bought in Primarni last summer, stepping onto the Daloli, a 33 metre yacht with three decks, five bedrooms, seven crew and an array of 'toys' including jet skis, paddleboards, seabobs and waterslides. Then there's the massive TVs, a hot tub, huge lounge and dining areas, and the drinks cabinet equivalent of Mary Poppins's never-empty carpet bag… I definitely don't have the money to charter it myself, and I don't tend to mix with millionaires who might. In fact, if I ever imagined myself on a yacht, I'd be more likely to picture myself slaving away Below Deck -style, scrubbing stains off some spoilt celebs ' sheets - because surely the lavish superyacht lifestyle is only for oligarchs and A-listers? Well, it turns out that, actually, it's no longer exclusive to the super rich - because as of now, with the launch of Anchord's prize draw, anyone can win a week aboard, just by buying a raffle ticket. And that's why I'm here - to get a sneak peek inside the superyacht where the first winners will spend a week living like royalty. Having flown into Athens, I've been driven to Alimos Marina, in the south of the city, where the Dalioi is docked, in prime position. The marina's glorious backdrop of sunshine, palm trees and Greek flags means I already feel like I'm on holiday - but of course, the Daloli is not a hotel, it is a superyacht, and so off we sail into the Mediterranean. As the boat heads south, so do I - downstairs to see my cabin. I am delighted to find a double bed, immaculately made with crisp white bed linen. There's a wardrobe with hangers, as well as cupboard space, a stonking great TV, and an ensuite bathroom stacked with Molton Brown miniatures. Having been worried about forgetting my shampoo, it quickly becomes apparent that at this level of luxury, everything is taken care of. 11 11 11 Spoilt like a celebrity There are shaving kits, toothbrushes, sun hats and sun lotion in a choice of factors. There is even a yoga mat and a foam roller to ease any muscle soreness after an invigorating swim. There are windows - or portholes - in both my bedroom and my bathroom. It means I can see the sea as I shower, and this turns out to be a uniquely enjoyable experience. It has spoilt me for all other bathrooms, as I would now like surrounding-sea-views for all my showers. Heading back upstairs, I'm told that we'll be anchoring in a bay near Aigina, one of the Saronic Islands just off the Greek mainland, in the Saronic Gulf. Here we will be doing watersports with the smorgasbord of equipment that is somehow tidily tucked away on board - despite the fact that even Stacey Solomon and the Sort Your Life Out team would struggle to fit it all in a double garage. But first we're having lunch, and as I enter the dining room, I suspect we may have a stowaway in the form of interior design guru Kelly Hoppen, who's snuck on board to do the tablescaping. It turns out it's one of the stewards, whose attention to detail would probably see them stacking up followers on Instagram, and somehow they conjure up an entirely new tablescape for every meal. The food? Well, as I'm sure you've guessed by now, there is an excellent chef on board. He serves platters of freshly cut fruit, makes the best tzatziki I've ever eaten, and even panders to my poached egg preferences. I would like to take him home, and I consider downloading Happn, the dating app that shows you nearby singles - perhaps this could be the route to keeping him in my kitchen? Then I come to my senses as it dawns on me that he'd be unlikely to give up his life on a superyacht just to make my dinner. However, as a G&T is handed to me on the sun deck, it strikes me that this stratospheric level of being looked after is one that I would love to get used to. So if you'd like to spend a week being spoilt like a celebrity, here's how… Just £10 enters you into Anchord's raffle for a week-long holiday, and it won't be lonely at the top (…deck!) because the prize is for six - with everyone's food and booze included, as well as a £5,000 voucher to pay for flights and transfers. Raffle tickets for the first prize draw went on sale on Monday 2nd June, with four weeks to snap up a ticket before the draw. After that, there will be a draw every four weeks. The Omaze of holidays Summer trips will be in the Mediterranean, while winter wins will be in the Caribbean. The yachts will vary, but they will all be between 25 metres and 45 metres in length, with the winners of the first raffle spending a week sunning themselves like celebrities on the Daloli. So Anchord is basically the Omaze of holidays - instead of winning an effing big fancy house, you win a fancy vacay on an effing big yacht. Hurrah! Now, call me superficial, but I can smugly say that posing on a superyacht pretty much guarantees that you'll be winning at Instagram. Even in a swimsuit that's about as old as the average Love Islander, I got more 'fire' emojis in response to my pics than I have for almost anything else I've posted on Insta. And living the life of a celeb doesn't stop with a week on the yacht, because winners also get the kind of philanthropist kudos that comes with being a celebrity benefactor like Angelina Jolie, Dolly Parton, and George and Amal Clooney. Why? Because for every raffle, a minimum of £10,000 will be donated to the children's hospice Naomi House & Jacksplace, with an additional sum being donated to a hospice in each winner's local area. Having spent a night on the Daloli as a guest, I know that in the future when I picture myself on a superyacht, I won't see myself emptying bathroom bins of soiled loo roll in the manner of a stressed steward in Below Deck. Instead, I'll have flashbacks to sipping champers in the top deck jacuzzi, while the chef prepares me a fresh seafood barbeque and a handsome crew member invites me for a spin on a jet ski. I'm feeling optimistic that this experience will raise my manifesting game - so much so that I imagine it's only a matter of time until the Law of Attraction works its magic and I sail off on another superyacht… Raffle tickets are available at 11
