'My intense night in a SpongeBob SquarePants-themed hotel room'
The receptionist hands me a room key adorned with a certain yellow, porous protagonist.
I've journeyed to Turkey's sun-drenched Antalya coast – not for the ancient ruins or the crystal-clear Mediterranean. I've come here to answer the question: can an all-inclusive hotel built around a talking sponge actually deliver luxury?
Walking into the new SpongeBob SquarePants-themed Deluxe Room at Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Antalya feels like I've tumbled through my television and landed in the Nickelodeon kids' cartoon.
The sign above the king-size bed proclaims 'Home Sweet Pineapple' in cheerful lettering, while pretend portholes dot the walls.
Think nautical blues, strategic pops of yellow, and character touches that stop just short of having SpongeBob's best pal Patrick the starfish tucked under your pillow. It's a room that would make even grumpy octopus Squidward crack a reluctant smile.
Even the mini-fridge is disguised as a giant pineapple. The rooms are surprisingly practical underneath the cartoon sparkle. Alongside the themed decor, you'll find modern comforts like fast wi-fi, smart TVs (where you can watch Nickelodeon all day long), USB charging ports, and thoughtful touches for little ones such as child-sized robes and step stools in the bathroom.
Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Antalya officially opened on March 1 and the Rixos-owned property features 238 rooms spread across seven floors, including 211 themed deluxe rooms (29 with connecting doors), 25 suites, and a Legendary Nick Suite.
You can stay in themed rooms based on PAW Patrol, Dora the Explorer, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and of course our old friend SpongeBob.
As I step onto the balcony of my room, I'm greeted by a bird's-eye view of PAW Patrol: Adventure Bay with its carousel rides, mini coasters and daily shows. It means you can watch your offspring carting around a Paw Patrol helicopter ride while sipping coffee from the comfort of your balcony.
Helicopter parenting has never been so relaxing. Meanwhile, the indoor SpongeBob Universe is as close to being in the show as you can get. From character meet-and-greets to spinning round on the 'Jellyfish Jam' swings – it's fun that may have even grown-ups answering, 'Aye-aye, captain!'
Guests also get complimentary unlimited access to the adjacent The Land of Legends theme park during their stay. It features 20 attractions and a waterpark with more than 40 slides.
While Nickelodeon Land caters primarily to younger children, Adventure Land offers high-speed roller coasters. The main attraction is the Hyper Coaster – a ride that will take you 203ft high at a speed of 71mph and has a 360 degree loop.
When you're ready to trade cartoon characters for coastal charm, the resort brilliantly delivers.
The hotel offers a complimentary shuttle service to another Rixos property, Rixos Premium Belek, where guests can enjoy stunning pools and a beach club, set among pine and walnut forests.
A nice reminder that yes, you are actually in Turkey, and not inside a cartoon.
For a cultural escape, head to Kaleiçi, the beautiful old quarter of Antalya.
This maze of narrow streets is home to historic houses, the iconic Hadrian's Gate and bazaars offering everything from traditional Turkish crafts to colourful spices. Take the Kaleiçi Panoramic Elevator for unbeatable marina views.
Nature lovers should visit Çirali Beach, where you can spot endangered loggerhead sea turtles amid crystal-clear waters and ancient ruins.
The food at the Nickelodeon Hotel definitely hits the spot.
For breakfast, lunch or dinner, Le Spatula restaurant – named after our yellow hero's favourite kitchen tool – is the place to be.
The all-inclusive package means there's nothing to pay when you ladle Nutella on your breakfast pancakes, placed delicately beside grilled halloumi.
For variety, choose between Nickelodeon All-Star Cafe, Snick Lounge & Bar, and Rainforest Juice Bar.
There are entertainment options abound for all ages. Club Nick provides supervised activities for children, operating with themes that rotate daily, alongside an outdoor heated splash park.
Meanwhile, parents can sneak off to Anjana Spa for a treatment, the private fitness centre or the Turkish bath for adults needing a cartoon break.
The word 'Nickelodeon' originally meant a US five cent movie theatre (literally a 'nickel' to get in). Obviously you'll need much more than spare change for this holiday.
For a family of four, expect to pay at least £700 per night all-inclusive in peak season – not cheap, but competitive when you factor in unlimited theme park access, food and entertainment.
So, can a hotel inspired by a talking sponge deliver on luxury?
Surprisingly, yes. Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Antalya walks the tightrope between chaos and calm with surprising grace.
If your children worship at the altar of any Nickelodeon characters, and you're searching for a holiday that delivers both kid-friendly entertainment and adult-worthy luxury, this pineapple under the sea (or rather, on the Turkish coast) might just be your perfect family getaway.
Flights to Antalya, Turkey, are available from airports across the UK via carriers including easyJet, SunExpress, British Airways, TUI and Jet2.
Themed family rooms at the Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Antalya start at around £362 a night. thelandoflegends.com, rixos.com/en/destinations/turkey
More info at goturkiye.com
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