A Memorial Day reminder to look out for the veterans among us

Yahoo

26-05-2025

'I got you.'
Terry Schow was on the phone with a young woman who had experienced an episode of sexual trauma when she was serving in the armed forces. She had filed a claim with the Veterans Administration, but the counselor she talked to only made her feel worse about her situation.
Desperate, at her rope's end, she called Terry, a former Green Beret who served in Vietnam and in the 55-plus years since has made it his life's work to help fellow veterans.
'Mr. Schow,' she said, her voice choked with emotion, 'this is too hard, I just don't know if I can do this. I don't think I can move on.'
That's when Terry uttered the three words that started this column.
When he hung up, he sprang to life like he was back on the battlefield. He called his contacts at the VA. He gave them his opinion in no uncertain terms: 'This woman needs a sympathetic counselor, preferably a woman this time, she needs to be listened to, she needs to be taken care of.'
A few weeks later, his phone rang again.
'Mr. Schow,' the woman said, 'thank you.'
There was life back in her voice. She had been heard. She was moving on. She wanted to live instead of wanting to die.
Schow is telling this story not to pat himself on the back, but to draw attention to a problem all too prevalent for veterans: suicide.
The statistics are alarming. While suicide affects all aspects of the population, those who served in the military are especially hard hit. As a group, veterans make up 6% of the adult U.S. population, yet account for 20% of all adult suicide deaths. The yearly number has hovered above 6,000 for 22 straight years.
What that equates to is that every day in America, 18 to 22 veterans, almost one per hour, end their own lives. And the majority aren't the aging and infirm. The highest percentage is among those aged 18 to 45.
The reasons, as Terry explains, are many and varied, but a common denominator, he believes, is the sense of isolation when you leave full-time service and are faced with assimilating back into regular civilian life. This is especially true for those who have been in combat.
'In the military you're part of a team,' he says, 'and if you lose any part of your team in battle, it's awfully hard, it takes a heavy toll, because that person was a piece of you. And when you get out and come home, you can just kind of feel like you're wandering around alone.'
It doesn't help, he adds, that 'many folks live inside their devices these days,' compounding the isolation.
As a counterbalance, Schow is using Memorial Day as a backdrop to tout a suicide prevention program recently set up by the American Legion.
It's called Be The One.
'Today, the No. 1 issue facing the veteran community is suicide,' states the American Legion on its website. 'The mission of the Be The One initiative is to reduce the rate of veteran suicide. We're actively working on lessening the stigma associated with mental health treatment and empowering everyone to take appropriate action when a veteran or service member is at risk — one life at a time.'
The Legion's goal is to train 100,000 people in suicide prevention by the end of 2025.
Anyone and everyone can get involved, says Terry, who is on the American Legion's national board of directors.
It can be as simple as putting your arm around a veteran — ones you know and ones you don't know — and thanking them for their service.
'I'll go through an airport and see a guy with a hat on that says World War II or Korea or Vietnam and ask them how they're doing, where did they serve,' says Terry. 'I've never had anybody push me away. In fact, most of them are so willing. It sounds trite, but a simple thank-you can mean so much to these folks, because you don't know what demons they carry.'
Terry points out that the VA 'has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on mental health. They've got a suicide team, they've got a PTSD team.' But for a veteran to take advantage of all the help and treatments available, sometimes what it takes is for someone else to step in and say, 'I got you.'
'If I knew the answers to all the questions about why (veterans consider suicide), I would be a wealthy man,' says Terry. 'But I'm just doing the Lord's work looking out for veterans. It is noble work. There's no pay, but you are rewarded manyfold by making a difference.
'Be The One is a great program. With Memorial Day coming up, it's a good reminder to look out for veterans and the sacrifices some of them carry we can't even see.'