A Word, Please: Steering clear of faulty parallels

Los Angeles Times

3 days ago

Faulty parallels come up in my editing work all the time, but I have yet to see a better example than a line from the movie 'Rain Man.' In the 1988 film, Raymond, an autistic savant played by Dustin Hoffman, keeps a 'serious injury list' of offenses committed by his brother Charlie, played by Tom Cruise. Among them is the time that Charlie, according to Raymond, 'yelled and pulled and hurt my neck.'
Anyone can tell there's something off about that sentence, but pinpointing the problem is a little tougher. To get at what's wrong, you need to focus on something we usually take for granted: parallel sentence structure.
Here's the idea: When we say something like, 'I went to the store, the gas station and Mary's house,' what you're really saying is 'I went to the store' and 'I went to the gas station' and 'I went to Mary's house.' But you don't have to repeat the first three words of every sentence because the stuff that follows can share a single instance of 'I went to.' The catch is that all the items have to connect to 'I went to' in the same way. That's called parallel structure.
Imagine, though, that we said, 'I went to the store, the gas station and go to Mary's house.' This is a faulty parallel because 'I went to' doesn't connect with 'go to Mary's house.' It says 'I went to go to,' which is illogical.
Parallels can take different forms, all of which can break down into faulty structures. For example, the problem with the 'Rain Man' sentence is not that the subject doesn't attach correctly to the multiple verbs that follow. That is, it's fine to say 'Charlie yelled' and 'Charlie pulled' and 'Charlie hurt' — all those work.
Instead, the breakdown happens at the end of the sentence when we realize 'my neck' applies not just to the last verb, 'hurt,' but also to the middle verb, 'pulled,' and that it should therefore apply equally to the first verb, 'yelled.' Had Raymond said, 'Charlie pulled and hurt my neck,' it would be clear that 'my neck' is to be shared by both verbs. And he could keep adding verbs, as long as they also had 'my neck' as an object. He 'pulled, hurt, tickled and tattooed my neck.' But throw in a verb that doesn't do anything to his neck, like 'yelled,' and you imply an illogical statement: Charlie yelled my neck.
Interestingly, this happens only when three or more items are made parallel. Two items, like 'Charlie yelled and hurt my neck,' would be fine.
The faulty parallels I see in my editing work are usually more subtle and often harmless. Here's an example: 'Stretch your legs, your soul and embrace the simple joys.'
Technically, that's saying 'Stretch your legs.' 'Stretch your soul.' And 'Stretch embrace the simple joys.' All the parallel items should be nouns you can stretch. 'Embrace' isn't even a noun here.
Most of the time, faulty parallels happen because a writer lost track of what the word 'and' is doing in a sentence.
'Our daughter is exploring a number of college majors including English, history, economics and plans to try out for the soccer team.'
That sentence needs another 'and' inserted before 'economics' because, as we all instinctively know, lists of three or more items use 'and' before the last item. 'Red, white and blue.' 'Red, white, blue and green.' 'Red, white, blue, green and gray.' The 'and' indicates that last one. In the 'our daughter' sentence, the last major is considered is economics, so it needs an 'and' before it. It's fine to tack on another clause with 'and,' like 'and plans to try out.' But unless you make clear that 'economics' is the last of the majors being considered, you suggest the sentence 'Our daughter is exploring college majors including plans to join the soccer team.' Usually, all it takes to avoid faulty parallels like these is a little care and attention.
June Casagrande is the author of 'The Joy of Syntax: A Simple Guide to All the Grammar You Know You Should Know.' She can be reached at [e-mail].