Sex column

The Star

16-05-2025

Science Says: These Tips Can Seriously Boost Your Sex Life (And They're Fun Too)
Let's face it: sex is one of life's great joys—and like anything worth doing well, there's always room for improvement. Luckily, science has stepped in (white coats and all) to offer us some well-researched ways to turn up the heat and enhance our sex lives. Best of all? These tips aren't just effective—they're playful, fun, and yes, occasionally giggle-inducing. Because whether you're having a dry spell or just want to up your bedroom game, there's something here for everyone. Let's dive in.
Get Loud (Within Reason)
You know what's not sexy? Silence. If your bedroom antics sound like a quiet game of chess, it might be time to channel your inner opera singer—or at least your inner human. Research shows that making noises during sex—moaning, sighing, gasping—isn't just something borrowed from dodgy movies. It's actually part of how humans communicate pleasure and desire. According to a study published in Archives of Sexual Behaviour, vocalizing during sex increases arousal for both partners and helps synchronize rhythm and Connection. Think of it this way: sex is a team sport. Your partner needs feedback to know how they're doing. Is this working? Should I keep going? Am I winning? Verbal and non-verbal sounds help keep everyone in the loop.
Just a gentle reminder: try to avoid the 'dolphin.' That's the high-pitched, squeaky double gasp that sounds more like distress than delight. If your partner pauses and asks, 'Was that…good?'—you've dolphin-ed. Dial it back
Break Out the Toys
Toys aren't just for kids, folks. Adults have their own special collection—vibrators, rings, wands, plugs—and they're not only fun, but science says they're effective. All available from your friendly, discreet online store lolamontez.co.za
A study from the Kinsey Institute found that couples who use sex toys report higher levels of sexual satisfaction and communication. Why? Because toys can add novelty, intensify stimulation, and help people explore different kinds of pleasure.
If you're someone who's toy-curious but hasn't taken the leap yet, start small. A little bullet vibrator or a silky blindfold can add excitement without intimidation. Already a toy enthusiast? Rotate your collection and try something new. Just like in cooking, a pinch of novelty can spice up the whole dish.
Kegels: Not Just for the Ladies
Let's hear it for the pelvic floor muscles. They're the unsung heroes of great sex. Kegel exercises—those little squeezes that strengthen the pelvic floor—are usually associated with post-baby recovery, but here's the scoop: everyone benefits from them. Yes, everyone. For women, Kegels can increase vaginal tone and enhance orgasm intensity. For men, stronger pelvic muscles mean better erections and improved control during sex. In fact, research published in The British Journal of General Practice found that Kegels helped men with erectile dysfunction significantly improve performance after just three months.
The best part? You can do them anywhere—while watching Netflix, driving, or waiting in line at the grocery store. Just squeeze, hold, release. Repeat. Bonus points if no one notices.
Add Some Variety (Yes, Even If You're Already Satisfied)
If your go-to move in bed is starting to feel like ordering the same sandwich at the same café every single time, it's time to mix it up. Scientific studies repeatedly show that introducing variety into your sex life leads to higher levels of satisfaction, more frequent orgasms, and better connection between partners. This doesn't mean you need to recreate a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey (unless that's your thing)—just try a new position, a different room, or a little role-play. Lola Montez has a blow
up wedge that is perfect for a position change. Not sure where to start? Here are a few simple swaps:
Change the time of day. Morning delight, anyone?
Play a sexy game or try fantasy storytelling.
Watch erotic content together (something tasteful, not tacky).
Explore mutual massage without a goal—just touch and tease.
Your brain loves novelty—it boosts dopamine, the feel-good chemical associated with arousal and reward. So even small changes can fire up those circuits in new and exciting ways.
Be Booze-Savvy
Ah, the classic pre-date drink. Alcohol is often billed as a libido-lifter, and in small amounts, it can be! A glass of wine or a cocktail can reduce anxiety, loosen inhibitions, and increase desire.
But—and this is a big but—more isn't better. Excessive alcohol consumption is a well-known arousal killer. It can dull sensitivity, impair performance, and even block orgasm entirely. There's a reason the phrase 'whiskey dick' exists.
A study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine confirms that moderate drinking (think one drink, maybe two) might help you get in the mood, but going overboard can make that mood evaporate. So, sip smart. A little tipsy can be sexy; drunk and confused is not.
Don't Skip the Afterglow
Sex doesn't end at orgasm. In fact, what happens after can be just as important for your relationship. Research from the University of Toronto found that post-sex cuddling, talking, and affectionate touch increases satisfaction and emotional connection. That oxytocin rush—the bonding hormone released during sex—makes us more likely to feel close, loving, and secure. Resist the urge to immediately roll over and check your phone. Instead:
Cuddle.
Talk about how great that was.
Share a laugh or a little pillow talk.
Or just breathe together in a snuggly heap.
It might feel like a small gesture, but it builds intimacy and keeps the emotional spark alive. And, as studies show, couples who cuddle after sex report higher relationship satisfaction overall. Your sex life doesn't have to be perfect—it just has to be yours. What matters most is that it's pleasurable, safe, and satisfying for you and your partner. These science-backed tips aren't commandments; they're just nudges toward more connection, more fun, and more moments.
So go ahead: moan a little, try that new toy, squeeze your pelvic muscles like a pro, and schedule some cuddle time. Your body—and your partner—will thank you.
P.S. Sex is natural, normal, and (spoiler alert) supposed to be enjoyable. Don't stress about doing it 'right.' Just be curious, kind, and open. The rest tends to follow.