No more Epstein talk? Donald doth protest too much
MAGA has long been obsessed with Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex offender who died in a jail cell while awaiting trial on sex-trafficking charges. His name was Jeffrey Epstein. (Did I say that already?)
Plenty of people in Trump's orbit and in his current Cabinet spent years speculating that Jeffrey Epstein had a client list that would reveal a vast cabal of powerful pedophile elites who flew on Jeffrey Epstein's plane and had sex with underage girls provided by Jeffrey Epstein.
Imagine their surprise when Trump's Department of Justice declared there was no client list and summed up Jeffrey Epstein's death - long suspected by folks in the MAGA-verse as a murder to keep him quiet - like this: "FBI investigators concluded that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City on August 10, 2019."
Shocking. Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theorists had their whole raison d'etre wiped out, leaving them wondering if the president himself is part of the Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy.
I, personally, believe no such thing and think everyone should honor Trump's request to stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein.
No Jeffrey Epstein talk, folks.
Opinion: I saw the new liberal 'Superman' movie and it gave me the woke mind virus
Explaining his eagerness to see Jeffrey Epstein's name out of the media, Trump wrote: "We're on one Team, MAGA, and I don't like what's happening. We have a PERFECT Administration, THE TALK OF THE WORLD, and 'selfish people' are trying to hurt it, all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein."
Perhaps we'd hear less about Jeffrey Epstein if President Trump stopped bringing up Jeffrey Epstein.
Some might argue Trump doth protest too much about Jeffrey Epstein. But I think the president's aversion to Jeffrey Epstein is in the best interest of the country.
There is, after all, no "team" in Jeffrey Epstein.
Opinion: MAGA is coming for Trump over lost Epstein files. Bondi may pay the price.
Excellent presidencies like Trump's require a minimal number of scandals, so let's dispatch with the Jeffrey Epstein blah-blah
In fact, I'm prepared to never again mention Jeffrey Epstein unless I absolutely have to. Jeffrey Epstein. (Oops.)
News organizations focused on the Jeffrey Epstein-induced MAGA schism caused by the DOJ effectively ending the Jeffrey Epstein investigation should immediately abide by the president's wishes and drop all Jeffrey Epstein coverage.
Frankly, the repeated commentary on Jeffrey Epstein is making this whole Jeffrey Epstein thing seem much more important than the great things happening in America, none of which involve Jeffrey Epstein.
I hope others will do as I'm doing and wipe Jeffrey Epstein from their memories.
Let Jeffrey Epstein go.
Ending this Jeffrey Epstein obsession will make President Trump feel better, and that definitely has nothing to do with his past involvement with Jeffrey Epstein or photos with Jeffrey Epstein or the possibility that releasing the Jeffrey Epstein files might cause him widespread embarrassment.
So shut up about Jeffrey Epstein, people. Jeffrey Epstein is yesterday's news.
(And definitely don't look at the sentence that the first letter of each paragraph above spells out. That would be conspiratorial.)
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Record
21 minutes ago
- Daily Record
Trump agrees US-EU trade deal avoiding tariff war in Turnberry talks with Von der Leyen
A deal was struck after European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen met with the US President at his golf resort in South Ayrshire. Donald Trump has announced a huge trade deal with the European Union worth more than $1.35 trillion (£1.05 trillion) after meeting European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen at his Turnberry golf resort in South Ayrshire. The former US President said the agreement, struck during Von der Leyen's visit today, will see the EU buy $750bn of American energy and invest a further $600bn into the US economy. Trump told reporters: 'The European Union is going to agree to purchase from the United States $750 billion worth of energy. 'They are going to agree to invest into the United States $600 billion more than they're investing already. So they're investing a large amount of money. 'You know what that amount of money is, it's very substantial.' He added that all EU countries had agreed to open up their markets for zero-tariff trade with the US and to purchase 'a vast amount of military equipment,' calling the deal 'bigger than any other deal', reports the Mirror. Trump also revealed both sides had agreed to a 'straight across' 15% tariff on cars. 'I think that basically concludes the deal,' he said. Von der Leyen said the US and EU remain the world's biggest trading partners and described the talks as an attempt to 'rebalance' the multi-trillion-dollar relationship. Calling Trump 'a tough negotiator and dealmaker,' she added: 'I think it would be the biggest deal each of us has ever struck.' Join the Daily Record WhatsApp community! Get the latest news sent straight to your messages by joining our WhatsApp community today. You'll receive daily updates on breaking news as well as the top headlines across Scotland. No one will be able to see who is signed up and no one can send messages except the Daily Record team. All you have to do is click here if you're on mobile, select 'Join Community' and you're in! If you're on a desktop, simply scan the QR code above with your phone and click 'Join Community'. We also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don't like our community, you can check out any time you like. To leave our community click on the name at the top of your screen and choose 'exit group'. If you're curious, you can read our Privacy Notice. Trump described hosting Von der Leyen at his Scottish resort as 'an honour' and repeated his long-standing concerns about 'unfair' trade with Europe, warning that without an agreement, the US had been ready to impose 30% tariffs on EU imports. The agreement follows months of tense negotiations, with both sides previously threatening retaliatory tariffs on goods ranging from European cars and cheese to American beer and aircraft.
Reuters
22 minutes ago
- Reuters
US to release result of probe into chip imports in two weeks
TURNBERRY, Scotland/EDINBURGH, July 27 (Reuters) - The Trump administration will announce the results of a national security probe into imports of semiconductors in two weeks, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said on Sunday, as President Donald Trump suggested higher tariffs were on the horizon. Lutnick told reporters after a meeting between Trump and European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen that the investigation was one of the "key reasons" the European Union sought to negotiate a broader trade agreement that would "resolve all things at one time." Trump said many companies would be investing in semiconductor manufacturing in the United States, including some from Taiwan and other places, to avoid getting hit by new tariffs. He said von der Leyen had avoided the pending chips tariffs "in a much better way." Trump and von der Leyen announced a new framework trade agreement that includes across-the-board 15% tariffs on EU imports entering the United States. Trump said the agreement included autos, which face a higher 25% tariff under a separate sectoral tariff action. The Trump administration in April said it was investigating whether extensive reliance on foreign imports of pharmaceuticals and semiconductors posed a national security threat. The probe, being conducted under Section 232 of the Trade Expansion Act of 1962, could lay the groundwork for new tariffs on imports in both sectors. The Trump administration has begun separate investigations under the same law into imports of copper and lumber. Earlier probes completed during Trump's first term formed the basis for 25% tariffs rolled out since his return to the White House in January on steel and aluminum and on the auto industry. Trump has upended global trade with a series of aggressive levies against trading partners, including a 10% tariff that took effect in April, with that rate set to increase sharply for most larger trading partners from August 1. The U.S. relies heavily on chips imported from Taiwan, something Democratic former President Joe Biden sought to reverse during his term by granting billions of dollars in Chips Act awards to lure chipmakers to expand production in the United States.
ITV News
an hour ago
- ITV News
US and EU agree trade deal, says Donald Trump
The United States and the European Union have reached a trade deal, Donald Trump has said. It follows a brief meeting between the US president and European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen in Scotland on Sunday. A White House deadline was days away for imposing punishing import taxes on the 27-member EU, which is America's leading global trading partner. Instead, the US will impose 15% tariffs on EU goods entering America, after Trump had threatened a 30% levy. 'It was a very interesting negotiation. I think it's going to be great for both parties,' Trump said. The make-or-break talks were meant to head off trade penalties - and promised retaliation from Europe - that could have sent shockwaves through economies around the world. Trump and von der Leyen held private talks at one of Trump's golf courses in Scotland, then emerged a short time later saying they had reached an 'across the board' agreement. In remarks before the session, Trump pledged to change what he characterised as 'a very one-sided transaction, very unfair to the United States.' 'I think the main sticking point is fairness,' he said while also noting, 'We've had a hard time with trade with Europe, a very hard time.' Von der Leyen had said the US and EU combined have the world's largest trade volume, encompassing hundreds of millions of people and trillions of dollars. Trump said the stakes involved meant of making a deal, 'We should give it a shot.' Von der Leyen said Trump was 'known as a tough negotiator and dealmaker', which caused the president to interject with 'but fair." She said that, if they are successful, 'I think it would be the biggest deal each of us has ever struck.' Their meeting came after Trump played golf for the second straight day at his Turnberry course, this time with a group that included sons Eric and Donald Jr. The president's five-day visit to Scotland is built around golf and promoting properties bearing his name. A small group of protesters at the course waved American flags and raised a sign criticising British Prime Minister Keir Starmer, who plans his own Turnberry meeting with Trump on Monday. Other voices could be heard cheering and chanting 'Trump! Trump!' as he played Tuesday, Trump will be in Aberdeen, in northeastern Scotland, where his family has another golf course and is opening a third next month. The president and his sons plan to help cut the ribbon on the new course.
