
No more Epstein talk? Donald doth protest too much
MAGA has long been obsessed with Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex offender who died in a jail cell while awaiting trial on sex-trafficking charges. His name was Jeffrey Epstein. (Did I say that already?)
Plenty of people in Trump's orbit and in his current Cabinet spent years speculating that Jeffrey Epstein had a client list that would reveal a vast cabal of powerful pedophile elites who flew on Jeffrey Epstein's plane and had sex with underage girls provided by Jeffrey Epstein.
Imagine their surprise when Trump's Department of Justice declared there was no client list and summed up Jeffrey Epstein's death - long suspected by folks in the MAGA-verse as a murder to keep him quiet - like this: "FBI investigators concluded that Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City on August 10, 2019."
Shocking. Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theorists had their whole raison d'etre wiped out, leaving them wondering if the president himself is part of the Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy.
I, personally, believe no such thing and think everyone should honor Trump's request to stop talking about Jeffrey Epstein.
No Jeffrey Epstein talk, folks.
Opinion: I saw the new liberal 'Superman' movie and it gave me the woke mind virus
Explaining his eagerness to see Jeffrey Epstein's name out of the media, Trump wrote: "We're on one Team, MAGA, and I don't like what's happening. We have a PERFECT Administration, THE TALK OF THE WORLD, and 'selfish people' are trying to hurt it, all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein."
Perhaps we'd hear less about Jeffrey Epstein if President Trump stopped bringing up Jeffrey Epstein.
Some might argue Trump doth protest too much about Jeffrey Epstein. But I think the president's aversion to Jeffrey Epstein is in the best interest of the country.
There is, after all, no "team" in Jeffrey Epstein.
Opinion: MAGA is coming for Trump over lost Epstein files. Bondi may pay the price.
Excellent presidencies like Trump's require a minimal number of scandals, so let's dispatch with the Jeffrey Epstein blah-blah
In fact, I'm prepared to never again mention Jeffrey Epstein unless I absolutely have to. Jeffrey Epstein. (Oops.)
News organizations focused on the Jeffrey Epstein-induced MAGA schism caused by the DOJ effectively ending the Jeffrey Epstein investigation should immediately abide by the president's wishes and drop all Jeffrey Epstein coverage.
Frankly, the repeated commentary on Jeffrey Epstein is making this whole Jeffrey Epstein thing seem much more important than the great things happening in America, none of which involve Jeffrey Epstein.
I hope others will do as I'm doing and wipe Jeffrey Epstein from their memories.
Let Jeffrey Epstein go.
Ending this Jeffrey Epstein obsession will make President Trump feel better, and that definitely has nothing to do with his past involvement with Jeffrey Epstein or photos with Jeffrey Epstein or the possibility that releasing the Jeffrey Epstein files might cause him widespread embarrassment.
So shut up about Jeffrey Epstein, people. Jeffrey Epstein is yesterday's news.
(And definitely don't look at the sentence that the first letter of each paragraph above spells out. That would be conspiratorial.)
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


Scotsman
9 minutes ago
- Scotsman
Donald Trump set to hit golf course on first day of Scottish visit
Protests are expected in Edinburgh and Aberdeen today following the arrival of the US president Sign up to our Politics newsletter Sign up Thank you for signing up! Did you know with a Digital Subscription to The Scotsman, you can get unlimited access to the website including our premium content, as well as benefiting from fewer ads, loyalty rewards and much more. Learn More Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Submitting... US President Donald Trump is expected to spend much of his first day in Scotland on the golf course after sweeping into Turnberry last night. Mr Trump drew crowds to Prestwick Airport on Friday evening as Air Force One touched down ahead of a four-day visit that will also take him to the club his family owns in Aberdeenshire. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad With a meeting scheduled with European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen on Sunday and Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer understood to be making the trip north on Monday, Mr Trump – a well-known golf enthusiast – appears to be free to play the vaunted Turnberry course on Saturday. But elsewhere, Scots will be protesting against the visit. Getty Images The Stop Trump Coalition has announced demonstrations in Edinburgh – near the American consulate in the Scottish capital – and another in Aberdeen in the days before his visit there. As he landed in Ayrshire on Friday, the president took questions from journalists, telling Europe to 'get your act together' on immigration, which he said was 'killing' the continent. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad He also praised Sir Keir, who he described as a 'good man', who is 'slightly more liberal than I am'. Saturday will be the first real test of Police Scotland during the visit as it looks to control the demonstrations in Aberdeen and Edinburgh, as well as any which spring up near to the president's course. The force has asked for support from others around the UK to bolster officer numbers, with both organisations representing senior officers and the rank-and-file claiming there is likely to be an impact on policing across the country for the duration of the visit.


Reuters
39 minutes ago
- Reuters
Australia, Britain sign 50-year AUKUS submarine partnership treaty
SYDNEY, July 26 (Reuters) - Australia's government said on Saturday it signed a treaty with Britain to bolster cooperation over the next 50 years on the AUKUS nuclear submarine partnership. The AUKUS pact, agreed upon by Australia, Britain and the U.S. in 2021, aims to provide Australia with nuclear-powered attack submarines from the next decade to counter China's ambitions in the Indo-Pacific. U.S. President Donald Trump's administration announced a formal review of the pact this year. Defence Minister Richard Marles said in a statement that the bilateral treaty was signed with Britain's Defence Secretary John Healey on Saturday after a meeting in the city of Geelong, in Victoria state. "The Geelong Treaty will enable comprehensive cooperation on the design, build, operation, sustainment, and disposal of our SSN-AUKUS submarines," the statement said. The treaty was a "commitment for the next 50 years of UK-Australian bilateral defence cooperation under AUKUS Pillar I", it said, adding that it built on the "strong foundation" of trilateral AUKUS cooperation. Britain's ministry of defence said this week that the bilateral treaty would underpin the two allies' submarine programmes and was expected to be worth up to 20 billion pounds ($27.1 billion) for Britain in exports over the next 25 years. AUKUS is Australia's biggest-ever defence project, with Canberra committing to spend A$368 billion over three decades to the programme, which includes billions of dollars of investment in the U.S. production base. Australia, which this month paid A$800 million to the U.S. in the second instalment under AUKUS, has maintained it is confident the pact will proceed. The defence and foreign ministers of Australia and Britain held talks on Friday in Sydney on boosting cooperation, coinciding with Australia's largest war games. As many as 40,000 troops from 19 countries are taking part in the Talisman Sabre exercises held from July 13 to August 4, which Australia's military has said are a rehearsal for joint warfare to maintain Indo-Pacific stability. Britain has significantly increased its participation in the exercise co-hosted by Australia and the United States, with aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales taking part this year.


The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
China calls for global AI cooperation days after Trump administration unveils low-regulation strategy
Chinese premier Li Qiang has proposed establishing an organisation to foster global cooperation on artificial intelligence, calling on countries to coordinate on the development and security of the fast-evolving technology, days after the US unveiled plans to deregulate the industry. Speaking at the annual World Artificial Intelligence Conference (WAIC) in Shanghai, Li called AI a new engine for growth, adding that governance is fragmented and emphasising the need for more coordination between countries to form a globally recognised framework for AI. Li warned Saturday that artificial intelligence development must be weighed against the security risks, saying global consensus was urgently needed. His remarks came just days after US president Donald Trump unveiled an aggressive low-regulation strategy aimed at cementing US dominance in the fast-moving field. One executive order targeted what the White House described as 'woke' artificial intelligence models. Opening the World AI Conference, Li emphasised the need for governance and open-source development. 'The risks and challenges brought by artificial intelligence have drawn widespread attention … How to find a balance between development and security urgently requires further consensus from the entire society,' the premier said. Li said China would 'actively promote' the development of open-source AI, adding Beijing was willing to share advances with other countries, particularly developing ones in the global south. The three-day event brings together industry leaders and policymakers at a time of escalating technological competition between China and the United States – the world's two largest economies – with AI emerging as a key battleground. Washington has imposed export restrictions on advanced technology to China, including the most high-end AI chips made by companies such as Nvidia and chipmaking equipment, citing concerns that the technology could enhance China's military capabilities. Li did not name the United States in his speech, but he warned that AI could become an 'exclusive game' for a few countries and companies, and said challenges included an insufficient supply of AI chips and restrictions on talent exchange. At a time when AI is being integrated across virtually all industries, its uses have raised major ethical questions, from the spread of misinformation to its impact on employment, or the potential loss of technological control. Earlier this week, news companies were warned of a 'devastating impact' on online audiences as search results are replaced by AI summaries, after a new study claimed it caused up to 80% fewer clickthroughs. The World AI Conference is an annual government-sponsored event in Shanghai that typically attracts major industry players, government officials, researchers and investors. Saturday's speakers included Anne Bouverot, the French president's special envoy for AI, computer scientist Geoffrey Hinton, known as 'the godfather of AI', and former Google CEO Eric Schmidt. Tesla CEO Elon Musk, who has in past years regularly appeared at the opening ceremony both in-person and via video, did not speak this year. The exhibition features predominantly Chinese companies, including tech companies Huawei and Alibaba and startups such as humanoid robot maker Unitree. Western participants include Tesla, Alphabet and Amazon. With Reuters and Agence France-Presse