People In HR Revealed Truly Unhinged Reasons Employees Got Fired, And My Jaw Is On The Floor
Recently, Reddit user Admirable-Fig277 had a question for people who work in human resources: "What are some NSFW/WTF reasons an employee has been disciplined and/or terminated?"
People had A LOT to say. The question received over 4,400 replies! Here are some of the best comments:
1."I am no longer surprised by how many people use their work emails to purchase drugs and plan their meth-fueled orgies."
—cat_dog2000
2."A man came in to complain to the zoning manager that one of our employees had been sleeping with his wife while they were at work. The employee arranged these meetings on his work computer, and I was assigned the investigation. I reviewed his emails and learned all sorts of things, like that his junk was smaller than her husband's, but she still liked it."
"They also frequently boned on a swivel chair at the office. The employee was fired, but the chair remained with the city."
—bbenji69996
3."The staff washrooms randomly started having fecal matter strewn on the walls like finger painting. It happened over several weeks. We finally had to watch cameras to see who went in and out of those washrooms all day, then had them cleaned after every use to see who was doing it."
—Thadius
4."I've had to fire a line lead (I work in manufacturing) because she was sleeping with the first AND second shift production leaders. When they finally figured it out, they wanted to fight for her in the middle of the plant, and she was egging them on."
—TheDadThatGrills
5."I had a guy who, in his first week of employment, was caught masturbating to pornography in the parking lot. The company I worked for was so lawsuit-adverse that they would never let us fire anyone for anything without first giving them a warning. But it turns out that masturbating in the parking lot IS a rare terminable offense. I brought the guy into an office to tell him that we're letting him go, and he asked me, 'Don't I get a warning?'"
—drinianrose
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6."I had to let a kid go for showing other staff members his homemade porn. The worst part is that most of it was solo work."
—TRF_27
7."I live close to a Honda plant. One time, an employee was filming, and this dude on the assembly line pulled out his dick. The girl next to him gave him about three seconds of oral. They were both fired, and the video was all over Facebook."
—No-Effect9761
"That gives 'Happy Honda Days' a whole new meaning."
—ecodrew
8."One manager was caught having sex with another manager's wife in the car. On company property. While her husband was working."
—HighThaiGuy
9."A guy got fired because IT found out he was using his work laptop to arrange sex workers while traveling for work. And he kept a spreadsheet with scores, rankings, and a list of which female employee each sex worker looked the most like."
—Rant_21
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10."My vice president of HR was fired for sexual harassment. She went around the entire office bragging about her blow job skills."
—Improv92
11."We had a coworker who got fired because he did the blowtorch on a doorknob prank. He got it super hot and called another coworker to come into the room. Aside from completely burning a dude's hand, the doorknob also had some layer of protective plastic on it that melted into his skin. It really messed up his hand for a long time."
—Bmc00
12."I just fired two people for stealing $60,000 worth of copper lines off the lineman truck."
—Due_Investigator_746
13."A chef I knew had to fire a guy after he found this dude in the walk-in refrigerator fucking a freshly cooked prime rib."
"Restaurants can be wild, man."
—whiskey_weasel_
14."A company executive was fired for pilfering autographed sports memorabilia from one of our contracted customers. The dude lost a huge six-figure salary plus his marriage, and he ended up living with his mom again. All for some autographed footballs."
"A security guard making minimum wage busted him by compiling video evidence. He made a greatest hits tape of the guy stealing stuff, physically handed it to the CEO of the company, and said, 'you need to watch this.'"
—Metalhed69
15."When I worked at a really nice restaurant, a sous chef did a whippit during service and briefly lost all inhibitions. He pissed right in the trash can in the open kitchen, which was viewable to staff and guests. He was fired on the spot."
—rmelansky
16."I used to be in the Royal Navy, and another Navy guy left to join the police. He aced their basic training and was very fit, intelligent, and a high achiever — when sober! One time, when he got drunk and stark naked, he decided it'd be funny to shit out of the top floor window of the police training barracks. He totally forgot that he wasn't in the Navy anymore, and that sort of thing isn't acceptable. They discharged him on the spot! Game over. Goodbye, police career."
"The next day, he walked back into the armed forces recruitment office and told them exactly what happened. The recruiter laughed and welcomed him back in like he'd never left! He's an officer now!"
—merlin8922g
"WTF is going on in the Navy?"
—ebolashuffle
17."We hired a service writer for a heavy equipment repair facility. She called in sick for the first day, then basically ghosted us for three weeks. One day, she just walked in like nothing happened. She filed a wrongful termination lawsuit afterwards, but that didn't really go anywhere."
"It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where George quits his job, and Jerry suggests he just goes back the next day like nothing happened."
—mybigtoonthrowaway
18."I used to work for a large UK company. Part of the initial training period was a weeklong stay at HQ in London, which involved drinks on the company dime every night. A young lad from my team was absolutely smashed and got into a cab. Then the corporate head of HR climbed into the same cab in front of where he sat. This young lad saw an arse in his face, and before his brain could engage, he delivered a full open palm butt slap to the corporate head of HR. Aaaand he was gone."
—Ncfctom
19.And finally, "A highly praised guy at my work smoked meth in a bathroom and smacked a dude on his bare dick at a urinal. I was walking in to start my shift and they were literally dragging him out by his feet while he was hysterically laughing."
—Tenzhen7
"To be fair, not many things are funnier than smacking a dude's bare dick at a urinal."
—SuppleScrotum
H/T r/AskReddit
Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.
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