Medieval tapestry's penis count remains a bone of contention
The Bayeux Tapestry is a remarkable example of medieval art. The embroidery piece depicts events leading up to the Norman conquest of England and spans nearly 230 feet. It is believed to have been completed soon after the Battle of Hastings in 1066 CE. But even as a renowned and intricately detailed artifact, it's not without its controversy. Namely: How many penises are on it?
In 2018, University of Oxford professor George Garnett said that the number stands at 93 male genitalia—88 on horses and five on men. But tapestry expert Christopher Monk believes one more penis deserves some extra scrutiny. In this case, a running soldier near the tapestry's lower border who features a noticeable accessory hanging from beneath his tunic.
'I am in no doubt that the appendage is a depiction of male genitalia–the missed penis, shall we say?' Monk said on a recent episode of the podcast HistoryExtra.
Garnett, however, remained doubtful about Monk's evidence. The Oxford scholar instead contended the mystery shape is actually a scabbard, and pointed to a gold orb that he believes is the pommel's brass cap.
'If you look at what are incontrovertibly penises in the tapestry, none of them have a yellow blob on the end,' argued Garnett.
[ Related: Medieval toilet helps uncover lost home of the England's last Anglo-Saxon King. ]
Either way, one needs to examine the original embroidery still housed in Bayeux, France, to properly analyze the total penis count. Although an 18th century replica exists at the UK's Reading Museum, the era's social standards necessitated a censored version of the tapestry that omits most of the genitalia.
But why include all those penises in the first place? Like their total count, the official explanation remains elusive.
Medieval art is laden with symbolism (including everything from colors, to flowers, to animals), and the Bayeux Tapestry is no exception. According to some historians, the appendages may have been meant to convey 'manliness' and virility. Case in point: the artwork's largest equine penis belongs to the horse gifted to Duke William preceding the Battle of Hastings, thus symbolizing his right to the throne. Meanwhile, others contend the anatomical inclusions allude to Aesop's Fables and other classical and satirical tales of the era.
'There are lots of interesting theories—we don't know really, to be honest,' historian David Musgrove said on the podcast. 'But it's very interesting that they're there.'
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