This Sling TV ad made me really mad

Washington Post

14-03-2025

Newspapers have suffered some indignities over the past two decades. More than 3,200 of them have closed since 2005. More than 45,000 newsroom jobs, gone. Many of those remaining get gobbled up by vulture funds; their journalists take abuse at public meetings; and in many jurisdictions, politicians hatch strategies to strip them of a critical revenue source.
And now comes 'Paperboy,' an ad for Sling TV, a subsidiary of Dish Network that offers television channels via the internet. Have a look:
A great deal of stupidity, it turns out, fits in a 30-second spot.
The gist of the Sling ad is that people can do without their newspapers and instead opt for Sling. It depicts a 'paperboy' tossing newspapers to residents as he pedals his throwback bicycle down a street of single-family homes. 'I told you I don't need these anymore. I have Sling,' quips a bathrobe-clad woman who flings the newspaper back at the paperboy. Two other customers chuck it back as well, with the third managing to lodge it in the bike's spokes, causing the paperboy to tumble over the handlebars.
He was wearing a helmet.
Such hilarious material builds on the history of paper delivery workers who get hit by a van and end up with a 'disfigured' leg and $80,000 in medical bills; who get molested, stuffed in a car trunk and murdered; who get shot dead on their route; and so on. In a 2018 CJR analysis, Jon Allsop found 45 on-the-job deaths in this profession since 1970 and 23 murders/violent killings since 1992, which was more than twice as many as journalists in that time frame. A long trail of reporting establishes that these workers — commonly engaged as contractors — have low pay and few benefits, insurance, etc. At least they make promotional fodder for a multichannel video provider. Attempts to secure comment from Sling have been unsuccessful.
Growing up in Schenectady, N.Y., the Wemple brothers dabbled in home delivery of the area's afternoon newspaper, the Knickerbocker News. 'Orchard Park was hell,' recalls my brother Mark, now 65, of a nearby neighborhood teeming with subscribers. 'Riding up that hill, chain coming off.' Collecting payment was a hassle, he says, and a community bully would stop him, stand in front of his bike and prevent him from proceeding on the route. 'So, you want to get going, huh?' taunted the young tough.
Demand for the dead-tree news product, which began dwindling even before the internet, has become a niche sensibility. In 2005, the Washington Examiner thought it would be a good idea blanket well-to-do local neighborhoods with complimentary copies. It was no such thing. Recipients of this newsprint windfall essentially tossed it right back at the Examiner, overwhelming the company with complaints. 'I have a recycling bin at the front door, and [the Examiner] goes straight in it,' one recipient told me.
Compare that sentiment with that of the woman in the Sling commercial. After tossing her paper back at the paperboy, she says, 'This critical time calls for the critical coverage that Sling provides.'
There's the second large problem with this ad: Newspapers provide the critical coverage that Sling provides. Its offerings include the big three cable news networks — CNN, MSNBC and Fox News — plus ABC News, Bloomberg TV and others. Watch those outlets for a while, and you'll notice a pattern in which their hosts make frequent references to the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times and many others. Newspapers, all of them. And they break a gobsmacking portion of the scoops that land on TV chyrons.
Now for an example. Sling's anti-newspaper ads have run frequently in recent days on CNN, a network that gorges on newspaper-originating stories and commentary. From the Wall Street Journal, it cites editorials critical of Trump's trade policies, breaking news items on the planned closure of the Education Department, an investigation into Medicare abuses, an interview with Vice President JD Vance and more. From the Times come articles about Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Elon Musk's plans to donate big money to Trump's political operations, a Trump administration clash over funding for air traffic control. And so on!
There are theories as to why newspapers — on the local and national levels — do so much lifting on the news front. Mine relates to focus. Though modern-day imperatives force them into podcasting and video gigs, newspaper reporters benefit from a simplicity of mission — report, report, report, attend depressing meeting, type, type, type. For TV correspondents, the routine is more like report, look good, check sound, check physique, hang out at the site of an accident that occurred three days ago, type, report, do hair and makeup, do panel discussion, post selfie to social media, wash off makeup, report, type.
Frequent visitors here may recognize this topic as a hobbyhorse of mine. Just a few months ago, I wrote about how Fox News bashes mainstream media organizations — including newspapers — even as it relies upon them to feed its 24/7 appetite for content. Peak hypocrisy. Not sure whether it's more or less craven than a tech outfit claiming that it's improving upon the offerings of legacy media.