‘Say it out loud': Singer Josh Pyke on tackling vulnerability
BODIES
You're in your mid-40s. How's your body holding up? Oh, man, my knees are shot. I've got patella tendonitis and it's just brutal. I used to play basketball with my friends, skateboard and surf. It's so confronting that in your mid- to late-40s all that becomes so much harder. Now I've got high cholesterol and high blood pressure, for some reason. It's actually super-confronting.
Are you having to change things up, as a result? I try to drink less, which I don't want to do. I've got a gym membership and take medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol. It's such a cliche, but youth is beauty. And I don't just mean aesthetic beauty: I mean that it's beautiful. You're free. I look at my kids – aged 12 and 14 – and they can just move. They're not even trying.
You've been candid about living with anxiety. How are you managing it lately? Medication helps, but a lot of it has to do with just going easy on yourself. Years ago, before going on stage with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra, I remember feeling this wave of panic from the tip of my toes all the way up my body. And I'm about to step on stage in front of 2000 people at the Opera House. And I was like [shrugs], 'What are you going to do?'
Wait, what do you do? I say this to my kids all the time: 'Just talk about your vulnerability. As soon as you say it out loud, it takes away 80 per cent of the fear.' Another time in Tasmania, I had the same thing: I had a panic attack, but I had to perform. I got on stage and said, 'I've just got to be open and honest about this. I had a big night last night. Sometimes that makes me have a panic attack, and I'm pretty much having one right now. But I'm grateful to play for you.' Everyone was super-cool; I even got a standing ovation. Everybody can relate to feeling vulnerable.
Religious leaders preach from the pulpit. Are you conveying any message when you play from the stage? I didn't become an artist to pass on a message or try to impart wisdom. I do it because that's how I express myself, find my place in the world and figure out how to deal with traumatic things in my life, like my mum passing away. The side effect of that seems to be that people have found comfort in it, which makes them feel that they're not alone. And when people tell me that, they make me feel as if I'm not alone.
How recently did you lose your mum? Just last year.
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