Preferring to live life offline, these young people are practicing 'appstinence'
Gabriela Nguyen was born and raised in Silicon Valley, the birthplace of social media. Her father was wary of his daughter living a plugged-in life and attempted to shield her from technology — but the pull of apps like Instagram and Snapchat was simply too strong. By the time she was in high school, Nguyen was 'chronically online.'
That meant spending hours scrolling, checking in on what everyone around her was doing and taking an often too-critical eye to her own posts. Every time a new feature was introduced, such as Instagram Stories in 2016, Nguyen felt pressure to keep up. It was just what 'kids these days' did. Yet Nguyen had a gnawing sense that spending so much time on these apps was zapping her time and energy. By 14, she started to wonder: Could there be a life without social media?
Leaving her online life behind wasn't a quick or easy process. In fact, it took almost a decade after that initial thought to call it quits. She wanted to be a part of the online world most of her friends were living in, even as creating 'different versions' of herself on an ever-expanding array of platforms was growing exhausting. But now, at 23, she has finally left social media for good — and plans never to return.
Nguyen, a graduate student at Harvard, not only is off of apps, but also downgraded her phone from a smartphone to a dumb one. 'I have a lot of times during the day where I have no digital stimulus — I just kind of sit and think,' she says.
Nguyen felt like she was holding on to 'the world's best secret' by living an unconnected life. 'I needed to give some kind of personification, some kind of life to this idea and ... share it with other people,' she explains. With that, 'appstinence' was born. Appstinence, a play on abstinence, means forgoing social media entirely and instead focusing on direct-line communication, such as phone calls and texts. She formalized the concept when she began studying education policy and later founded a Gen Z-led organization by the same name. Twice a month, the group meets to discuss how to reduce the impact of digital life on the real world. Nguyen even created a guide called the 5D method — which stands for decrease, deactivate, delete, downgrade and depart — to help other people mend their relationships with social media.
According to 2024 data from the Harris Poll, about half of adult Gen Z social media users spend two to four hours a day on social media, while 60% spend at least four hours, and 22% spend seven or more hours daily. But like Nguyen, more members of Gen Z are realizing that it simply doesn't serve them.
Judy Liu, a 25-year-old instructional designer in New York City, says she connected with Nguyen and the organization Appstinence last year through Fairplay's Screen Time Action Network, a group focused on reducing screen time and promoting healthier digital habits. Liu, who got her first smartphone at 10, began weaning herself off social media when she was 18: first by deleting Snapchat and then the following year Instagram. In 2022, she deleted her Facebook account.
Liu loved social media. As a 'painfully shy' teen, she used things like friend requests and likes to replace interactions she wasn't comfortable having. But eventually, Liu says, her confidence took a hit: 'I paid attention to things like, 'Oh, what's my ratio between the number of people that I'm following and people that are following me?' And I was noticing that I was comparing myself to other people, whether that was in successes or in the way that my body looked,' she recalls. After several hours of scrolling, she'd experience heightened levels of anxiety.
When she finally scaled back on social media — before deleting it entirely, save for LinkedIn for professional connections — she felt 'more at peace and more present.'
'It's not like social media is the source of all my problems, and now that I'm rid of them, my life is sunshine and rainbows all the time. ... It just gave me the opportunity to focus on what the actual problems are and give them the attention and the love that is necessary,' she says. 'Social media distracted me from them.'
And younger members of Gen Z feel the same, such as 16-year-old high school junior Tommy Alfano of Dorset, Vt. He chose to follow the 5D method in January after connecting with Nguyen through his work with Vermont Phone-Free Schools Coalition.
Alfano says that before going app-free, social media was his 'go-to' to 'decompress or just kill time.' When Meta introduced Reels, he found himself 'scrolling endlessly,' something that became a habit he 'couldn't shake' that was 'taking a toll' on his well-being.
The biggest perk of going app-free? Being present, Alfano says, and no longer feeling stuck in the cycle of 'mindless scrolling' or like he has to 'keep up with everyone else's highlights reel.' While he did initially experience 'withdrawal,' now he connects with friends over 'real conversations instead of whatever is trending online.' He's now spending more time outdoors and even working in his free time with Snapchat on its Council for Digital Well-Being — a group of 18 teens who share their experiences to 'shape healthy online spaces.'
'I didn't realize how much time Reels took up until I had all this extra time to actually enjoy things,' Alfano says.
There's a reason people like Nguyen, Liu and Alfano felt like social media was taking more than it was giving. The National Center for Health Research linked social media use among teens and young adults to rising levels of anxiety and depression. It may even make us more irritable, per research from January 2025.
Meanwhile, a 2019 study found the more time we spend in digital spaces, the less happy we are overall. Other research saw that time on social media can lead to a negative body image and even eating disorders.
'It's important to remember that content doesn't have to be inherently negative to elicit negative emotions,' Maureen Coyle, an assistant professor of psychology at Widener University, tells Yahoo Life. 'For example, posts displaying lavish lifestyles and wealth or idealized physical appearances can evoke feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt.'
Social media is also addictive. Psychologist Cameron Sepah, a professor at the University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine, tells Yahoo Life that this is due to 'dopaminergic loops of reinforcement.' This means that social media platforms are designed to trigger the release of dopamine, the brain's 'pleasure hormone,' making us feel good when we engage with content.
'Likes, comments and notifications are intermittent rewards, much like gambling,' he says. And continuous stimulation 'shortens attention span, raises anxiety levels and causes compulsive scrolling.'
The first step to seeing if appstinence is for you is to assess how you feel after spending time online. 'Consider keeping a journal to track your emotions before, during and after using social media,' Coyle says. 'If you notice that your mood declines after spending time online, that's a strong indicator that your social media use may be harmful.'
Reflecting on your 'motivation' for using social media is important. 'Are you using it to pass the time, learn something new, connect with others or to avoid someone or something? If your primary motivation is avoidance, that may be a red flag,' she says.
If you find that you're not getting much benefit from spending time on social media, then Nguyen's 5D method offers a gradual approach to stepping away.
If you want to follow the 5D plan, here are the steps Nguyen recommends taking to achieve a social-media-free life.
Inform close friends and family about your decision to go offline and ask them to reach you via text or phone.
Decrease use by removing social media apps from your phone and accessing them only via browser. Unfollow unnecessary accounts and disable notifications.
Deactivate accounts one at a time, starting with the least-used. Deactivation lasts 30 days before automatic deletion. Don't be discouraged if you struggle: These apps are made to be addictive.
Focus on real-world connections and self-care during the 30-day deactivation period. Repeat the process for all accounts until you are fully offline.
Nguyen believes that appstinence is a better alternative to moderate use, due to the constant changes that social media apps are making to keep you coming back. But Sepah says that for most people, 'scaling down, rather than cold turkey, is a more realistic solution.'
'Cold turkey may be a possibility for extreme digital addiction, but controlled use — such as limiting time, unfollowing toxic accounts or scheduling 'phone-free hours' — may be as helpful in reducing harm,' he says.
Here are some tips on how to scale back social media use:
Set your phone down away from your bed at night (get a real alarm clock!) to stop nighttime scrolling that can disrupt your sleep.
Disable push notifications that bring you back to an app and distract you during the day. Or, consider going on Do Not Disturb — you can set your phone to still get notifications from important contacts.
Schedule social media breaks — label certain times of the day, like your mornings, phone-free.
Set a 'no phone at the table' rule so you can eat meals without scrolling.
Delete one social media app so you're checking your phone less frequently.
Next time you go to DM a friend, shoot them a text instead — or, better yet, make it a phone call.
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