STEPHEN DAISLEY: Of leaks, Lefty mobs, sulks and secret sojourns to Larkhall pubs

Daily Mail​

2 days ago

With polling day approaching in the Hamilton, Larkhall and Stonehouse by-election, Nigel Farage spent yesterday campaigning in an obvious location: Aberdeen.
The Reform leader ventured north to the Granite City harbour where he unveiled the defection of a local Tory councillor at the Silver Darling fish restaurant, but soon enough it was Mr Farage claiming to have been done up like a kipper.
Waiting to greet him outside the seafood eatery was a small coterie of protestors. They hoisted a banner that read: 'Farage not welcome in Scotland', and to emphasise the point, chanted 'throw Farage in the sea'.
Oh, that's a great idea. He'll swim ashore and have a council house and indefinite leave to remain before he's dried himself off.
The demonstrators also chanted: 'Nigel, go home'. Too right. We don't stand for xenophobia around these parts, matey. Go back where you came from. Coming over here, taking our— Ah. Might have to think this one through.
Mr Farage's team accused a broadsheet newspaper of leaking his whereabouts, allowing left-wing activists to locate him. Ordinarily they would just stake out the nearest Question Time studio.
After a terse exchange with one reporter, Mr Farage declared the game a bogey and skulked off, taking his ball with him.
Ditching the print hacks, he buddied up with his pals at the BBC. Bleedin' liberal establishment. They always stick together.
This is where Mr Farage made a bold choice and decided to visit the constituency where his party is contesting a by-election.
He popped into a boozer in Larkhall to talk politics with the regulars. If nothing else, he's a very brave man.
All the while the poor, deadline-bound hacks pounded the pavements of Hamilton, hoping to find Mr Farage at his party's headquarters on Quarry Street.
Alas, in the vein of Macavity the Mystery Cat, you may seek him on the stump, or in the campaign hub, you may seek him on the doorsteps, but Nigel's down the pub.
What did the good burghers of the constituency make of these shenanigans?
Some reported favourable sentiments towards Mr Farage while others said only a few words, all of them of the four-letter variety.
He divides opinion north of the border like no one since Margaret Thatcher, and he's never even snatched a wean's milk away. All this makes him that rarest of characteristics in Scottish politics: interesting.
Whatever else might be said of the man, he's not a dullard. Likes a drink, never without a fag, bit of a Del Boy, but at least he doesn't scold you for your lifestyle choices, or your carbon emissions, or your gendered language, or your micro-aggressions.
There's a great relief to be found in a politician who just wants to leave you alone.
Still, his cross-border incursions into Scotland seldom go to plan. A 2013 foray to Edinburgh ended with him barricaded in a pub as a student mob raged outside.
Eventually, he had to be extricated by the police, who snuck him out in one of their vehicles and sped him off to safety.
It wasn't the first time a punter had been bundled out of an Old Town pub and into the back of a polis van but it might well have been the first time the punter in question had requested it.
We can expect more visits from Mr Farage. His party is making a good showing the polls for next year's Holyrood elections, and if they can win round voters scunnered with the mainstream parties, there is a chance Reform could become a genuine force in Scottish politics.
With any luck, Mr Farage's media team will resist the alluring temptations of professionalism and will continue to delight us with chaotic trips north of the border.
Leaked locations and lefty mobs, paranoid sulks and secret sojourns in Larkhall bars. More of all of these, please. Mr Farage might be a chancer but he's a welcome break from all those bland mediocrities at Holyrood.