Here's how Rubina Ashraf tackles her anger issues

Express Tribune

26-01-2025

It is long held wisdom that the first step to fixing a problem is to acknowledge it as such. And veteran actor Rubina Ashraf finds herself in the lucky few to have surpassed that early denial.
Appearing as a guest on a chat show with host Wasi Shah, Rubina mused over her contentious relationship with her anger. "I believe that anger is a very constructive force as long as you use it for yourself," she maintained. For all its tricky gains, Rubina wishes she possessed greater control over her temper.
As per the actor, using anger to rally for one's rights is productive. However, the line between the right and wrong expression of anger may not always be easy to draw. Rubina insisted that it would be counterproductive indeed if she lashed out on people out of sheer frustration.
"And I may even be justified in doing so in that moment because the person I'm furious over would likely be wrong. But the problem is, the person before me would only see my anger and fail to see the intention behind it. The meaning of my words might not translate well, so it would become difficult to make amends. That is what I realise now," she acknowledged.
For Rubina, an indispensable part of her growth has been learning how to articulate her stance. Often this practice has required her to actively mediate her emotions and practice calmness instead of letting her fury spill.
Now actively working to regulate her emotions, Rubina recalled triggers that fuelled her anger, attributing some of it to COVID-19.
"I recovered but when I was on the hospital bed, I was undergoing a struggle because I was trying to survive. And I was putting all my energy into it," she said of the pandemic. "I was angry even then. I would scold people even during my time there. Because that's probably my survival skill."
The Do Bol actor revealed that she lashed out on her daughter very aggressively at one point. "After Allah, she is the one who's responsible for bringing me back to life. But I scolded her a lot," Rubina disclosed, observing that being in a helpless situation can make people selfish. "A person like this begins to feel that no one cares about them."
In retrospect, these moments of volatility bring her a sense of regret and sorrow. "It was only when I got home that I realised what I'd done wrong. I burst into tears watching my family be there for me," Rubina confessed.