This ‘90s parenting trend is back — and NY moms and dads are divided

Yahoo

a day ago

Low-rise jeans and Abercrombie & Fitch aren't the only divisive '90s trends making a comeback.
Nostalgic moms and dads are eschewing back-to-back day camps and enrichment programs for their kids— typical seasonal survival tactics for many city families — in favor of 'feral child summers' reminiscent of the Clinton administration.
Some parents want their children to enjoy laidback days Rollerblading around the neighborhood and hours-long couch potato sessions before screen time was a matter of constant concern. Others see the freewheeling '90s summer as utterly unrealistic at a time when streets are more dangerous, digital distractions are less innocent and more addictive and many families have two working parents.
Eric Katzman, a 46-year-old public relations professional from Brooklyn, is trying to recapture some of the '90s spirit with his — within reason.
'We roamed, went to the candy store, the fro-yo place, but we always knew to come home,' he said fondly of the summers he enjoyed as a kid.
This year is the first where he will allow his 12- and 9-year-old children to walk and bike around at will, to 'roam some, within reason.'
In a recent episode of her popular podcast 'Not Gonna Lie,' Kylie Kelce raved about the feral child summer.
'I love the idea,' the mother of four enthused. 'I currently will unleash my children into the backyard. If one of them ends up digging out a rock, have at it.'
Caitlin Murray, a 43-year-old Westchester mom and popular content creator, is also a fan. She didn't sign her two children, ages 9 and 11, up for camps and instead allows them to come and go as they please, just as she did growing up on Cape Cod.
It helps that there's limited tech in the home — no video games or tablets — and she doesn't allow YouTube.
'They could watch [regular] TV, theoretically,' Murray said, but the appeal of traditional television is limited.
Not everyone is on board with the no-plan plan.
Jessica Dowshen and her husband started mapping out the summer programming for their 12- and 15-year-old kids last fall. It includes a month-long photography workshop, a science school, farm camp, and an STEM tutorial working with glass.
'If my kids were left to their own devices to freewheel and do whatever they wanted all summer long, they would sit in their rooms and be on their computer or phone or iPad playing games,' said Dowshen, who works for the Department of Education and lives with her family in Flatbush, Brooklyn. 'It's so hard because the phone's glow just calls to them.'
Upper West Side parents Rebecca and Steven, who have a 5- and a 7-year-old, said that the feral summer just isn't realistic living in Manhattan.
'It's kind of hard to just let your kids run around outside,' Rebecca said.
She added that the increasingly warm summers aren't helping.
'It gets so hot that the kids just end up watching TV or watching their tablet, not doing the '90s thing, staying out until it gets dark,' she said.
The family, who declined to share their last name for privacy reasons, are spending a month this summer in Europe where the kids will attend an international language school with structured days.
'It's more of a suburb-like experience where they can just be outdoors,' Stephen said of the camp, noting that it's actually 'not that expensive to go abroad for a month.'
Dr. Anna Levy-Warren, a Brooklyn-based psychologist who works with families, understands some parents' desire to give their kids the kind of tech-free, fun-loving summers they had but advocates for balance — a mix of structured activities and time to play freely.
Levy-Warren said it's 'crucially important' to give kids an opportunity to 'be creative, socialize across age groups, be bored, and play games that come from their imagination and not from a screen.'
But she acknowledges, 'We live in a very different world than the one of the '90s summer,' one in which modern-day parents are more fearful or anxious about teaching kids' independence, in large part because of the way social media has shown every bad and scary thing that could happen.
Kids don't need their phone at the playground, pointed out Levy-Warren, but parents have become so accustomed to being able to reach their kids at all times that it's a hard habit to break.
Murray has high hopes for her kids' unstructured time.
She said, 'This is the summer they start to figure things out.'
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