Empty nesters 'not too old' to become foster carers
Empty nesters should not worry they are too old to become foster carers, as those who have made the move tell the BBC they have "a huge amount to offer" .
Parents who started fostering after their grown-up children left home encouraged others to "just go for it".
It comes after the children's minister urged empty nesters to consider fostering due to a "decline in the number of foster carers to the point of crisis".
But charity The Fostering Network warns government action falls short of what is needed to recruit and retain dedicated carers.
When Sharon quit her job and became a foster carer aged 51, her friends and family asked: "Why would you want to?"
Her own children had grown up, and she had more time to spend with her husband Tim at their home in Leicester.
But Sharon was set on fostering because she "wanted to make a difference".
Foster carers provide a home to children who cannot live with their birth family for different reasons.
These include short-term family crises like an illness, or experiences such as abuse and neglect. Children can be looked after for short or long periods of time.
At first, Sharon and Tim had "some very difficult times" with the foster child, who the BBC is not naming.
He has since had "a complete transformation", she said. He is thriving at school, has lots of friends, and is learning to play the trumpet.
Sharon says she now does her "own advertising" for fostering later in life with family and friends.
"Some of my friends say, 'I couldn't do it'. I say, 'why not?'
"Just go for it, you see there's so many children who need just the basics in life, a loving secure home, and to feel that sense of belonging."
More than 56,000 children were in foster care in England in 2024, according to government data, while The Fostering Network estimates there is a shortage of 5,000 foster carers.
Minister for Children and Families Janet Daby has urged empty nesters to help address this shortage.
"Maybe your child has left for university, you are retired, or you feel like you can give a child the fulfilling family they deserve," she told the BBC.
"We urge anyone who is interested to reach out to your local council to find out more about making a difference to a child's life chances."
Allan's first question when he and his wife first looked into fostering, aged 64, was: "Am I too old?"
Without their three adult children, their four-bedroom family home in Scotland was not as full as it once was.
"I began to feel a bit selfish," he told BBC Radio 4's Today programme.
"I said to my wife, we really could do this and take someone in."
Their children were surprised and urged their parents to "enjoy life".
But Allan and his wife were told "if you're healthy, fit and you feel that you want to do this, you're definitely not too old".
"They gave us a bit of a lift really, thinking we've not been written off."
However, Allan admits the child they came to foster was curious about his age.
"He saw my date of birth (and asked), 'are you really?'"
The Fostering Network estimates there is currently a shortage of 400 foster carers in Scotland, where the latest figures show more than 3,900 children were in foster care in 2023.
The Scottish government provided more than £2m to support foster carers in 2024-25, and more than £150,000 towards carer recruitment, training and advice services.
When Allan's foster child arrived, he was "scared, very unsure - not knowing how long it's going to last".
Now, he sees Allan's grandchildren as his cousins, and the grown-up children as his aunt and uncles.
"My message to older people is, if you're even thinking about it, at least pursue it."
Steve and Liz had reservations about fostering when the idea occurred to them 20 years ago.
"But we just felt we had such a huge amount to offer," said Steve, 70, from the West Midlands.
"We had space in the house, were used to having children, and had the time."
Since then, they have fostered 16 children.
Steve said people should approach fostering with their eyes "wide open".
"The young people have experienced lots of different things your own children wouldn't normally do," he explained.
"But you can pick the phone up and speak with a supporting social worker very easily… they'll come back to you with strategies.
"Once you get into the swing of it, it feels natural."
Steve and Liz are currently caring for two boys who are progressing "absolutely brilliantly", and are eager to see what the future holds.
In the short term, they are planning their "huge" annual Easter egg hunt - in which their children, grandchildren, and former foster children will take part.
"Certainly if you've got an inkling you'd like to try it, try it," Steve added.
In the Spring Statement, the chancellor announced £25m over two years to recruit 400 more foster families in England, improve support for carers, and ensure placements were available to children when needed.
The Fostering Network's chief executive Sarah Thomas agreed more carers were "desperately needed," but said further action on retention was crucial.
Dedicated carers were stepping away due to "a lack of support, insufficient respect from professionals, and burnout", she told the BBC.
"Without addressing these fundamental issues, the system will continue to struggle."
The children's minister recognised the impact foster carers have "on breaking down barriers to opportunity and nurturing some of our most vulnerable children".
She said the government was "committed to removing barriers for carers – ensuring that age, training and background don't stand in the way", and offering support and advice at regional fostering hubs.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
7 hours ago
- Yahoo
Ocean damage unspeakably awful, Attenborough tells prince
Sir David Attenborough has told Prince William he is "appalled" by the damage certain fishing methods are wreaking on the world's oceans. The Prince of Wales interviewed the TV naturalist ahead of a key UN Oceans conference which kicks off on Monday. The world's countries are gathering for the first time in three years to discuss how to better protect the oceans, which are facing growing threats from plastic pollution, climate change and over-exploitation. The UN's key aim is to get the High Seas Treaty - an agreement signed two years ago to put 30% of the ocean into protected areas - ratified by 60 countries to bring it into force. William to address Monaco forum in bid to help world's oceans Attenborough at 99 delivers 'greatest message he's ever told' Oceans suffer from record-breaking year of heat "What we have done to the deep ocean floor is just unspeakably awful," said Sir David. "If you did anything remotely like it on land, everybody would be up in arms," he said in the interview released on Saturday. It was conducted at the premiere of his new documentary, Ocean, last month. The documentary draws attention to the potential damage from some fishing practices, like bottom trawling, for marine life and the ability of the ocean to lock up planet-warming carbon. Governments, charities and scientists will come together at the UN Oceans Conference (UNOC) in Nice to try and agree how to accelerate action on the issues most affecting the world's seas. Sir David said he hopes the leaders gathering for the UN conference will "realise how much the oceans matter to all of us, the citizens of the world". The ocean is crucial for the survival of all organisms on the planet - it is the largest ecosystem, is estimated to contribute $2.5 trillion to world economies and provides up to 80% of the oxygen we breath. The key aim for the UN is to galvanise enough support to bring the High Seas Treaty into force - including commitment from the UK. Three years ago countries agreed to protect 30% of the world's oceans by 2030, across national and international waters. International waters - or high seas - are a common resource with no ruling country so nations signed the High Seas Treaty in 2023 agreeing to work together to put a third of them into Marine Protected Areas (MPAs). Since then only 32 countries have ratified the treaty - 60 are needed to bring it into force. But many scientists and NGOs are worried MPAs will not be effective whilst practices like bottom trawling are still allowed within them. "Our ocean is 99% of our living space on the globe, we have huge dependency on the ocean in every possible way, but bottom trawling does a lot of damage," Dr Amanda Vincent, Professor in Marine Conservation at The University of British Columbia told BBC's Inside Science. Bottom trawling or dredging is currently allowed in 90% of the UK's MPAs, according to environmental campaigners Oceana, and the Environment Audit Committee (EAC) has called for a ban on it within them. What is the UN High Seas Treaty and why is it needed? But some fishing communities have pushed back on the assertion that certain fishing practices need to be banned in these areas. "Bottom trawling is only a destructive process if it's taking place in the wrong place, otherwise, it is an efficient way to produce food from our seas," Elspeth Macdonald, CEO of Scottish Fisherman's Association told the BBC. Scientists point to evidence that restricting the practice in some areas allows fish stocks to recover and be better in the long term for the industry. The conference had been called after concern by the UN that oceans were facing irreparable damage, particularly from climate change. The oceans are a crucial buffer against the worst impacts of a warming planet, absorbing excess heat and greenhouse gases, said Callum Roberts, Professor of Marine Conservation at the University of Exeter. "If the sea had not absorbed more than 90% of the excess heat that has been added to the planet as a result of greenhouse gas emissions, then the world wouldn't just be one and a half degrees warmer it would be about 36 degrees warmer. "Those of us who were left would be struggling with Death Valley temperatures everywhere," he said. This excess heat is having significant impacts on marine life, warn scientists. "Coral reefs, for the past 20 years, have been subject to mass bleaching and mass mortality and that is due to extreme temperatures," said Dr Jean-Pierre Gattuso, senior research scientist at Laboratoire d'Océanographie de Villefranche and co-chair of the One Ocean Science Congress (OOSC). "This really is the first marine ecosystem and perhaps the first ecosystem which is potentially subject to disappearance." The OOSC is a gathering of 2,000 of the world's scientists, prior to the UN conference, where the latest data on ocean health is assessed and recommendations put forward to governments. Alongside efforts on climate change the scientists recommended an end to deep sea activities. The most controversial issue to be discussed is perhaps deep sea mining. For more than a decade countries have been trying to agree how deep sea mining in international waters could work - how resources could be shared and environmental damage could be minimised. But in April President Trump bypassed those discussions and signed an executive order saying he would permit mining within international waters. China and France called it a breach of international law, although no formal legal proceedings have yet been started. Scientists have warned that too little is understood about the ecosystems in the deep sea and therefore no commercial activities should go forward without more research. "Deep sea biology is the most threatened of global biology, and of what we know the least. We must act with precaution where we don't have the science," said Prof Peter Haugan, Co-chair of the International Science Council Expert Group on the Ocean. A simple guide to climate change Four ways climate change worsens extreme weather What you can do to reduce carbon emissions Sign up for our Future Earth newsletter to keep up with the latest climate and environment stories with the BBC's Justin Rowlatt. Outside the UK? Sign up to our international newsletter here. UNOC 'Ocean darkening' a cause for concern - scientists UK sea temperatures soar after exceptionally warm spring
Yahoo
20 hours ago
- Yahoo
East of England news quiz of the week
From unusual food bank donations to angry parents after a school rule change, how much East of England news can you remember from the past seven days? Follow East of England news on X, Instagram and Facebook: BBC Beds, Herts & Bucks, BBC Cambridgeshire, BBC Essex, BBC Norfolk, BBC Northamptonshire or BBC Suffolk. East of England news quiz of the week 24 - 30 May East of England news quiz of the week 17 - 23 May East of England news quiz of the week 10-16 May East of England news quiz of the week 3-9 May East of England news quiz of the week 26 April-2 May East of England news quiz of the week 19-25 April East of England news quiz of the week 12-18 April East of England news quiz of the week 5-11 April East of England news quiz of the week 29 March-4 April East of England news quiz of the week 22-28 March East of England news quiz of the week 15-21 March East of England news quiz of the week 8-14 March East of England news quiz of the week 1-7 March East of England news quiz of the week 22-28 February East of England news quiz of the week 15-21 February East of England news quiz of the week 8-14 February East of England news quiz of the week 1-7 February East of England news quiz of the week 25-31 January East of England news quiz of the week 18-24 January East of England news quiz of the week 11-17 January East of England news quiz of the week 4-10 January
Yahoo
a day ago
- Yahoo
The decades-old intrigue over an Indian guest house in Mecca
As the annual Hajj pilgrimage draws to a close, a long-settled corner of Mecca is stirring up a storm thousands of miles away in India - not for its spiritual significance, but for a 50-year-old inheritance dispute. At the heart of the controversy is Keyi Rubath, a 19th-Century guest house built in the 1870s by Mayankutty Keyi, a wealthy Indian merchant from Malabar (modern-day Kerala), whose trading empire stretched from Mumbai to Paris. Located near Islam's holiest site, Masjid al-Haram, the building was demolished in 1971 to make way for Mecca's expansion. Saudi authorities deposited 1.4 million riyals (about $373,000 today) in the kingdom's treasury as compensation, but said no rightful heir could be identified at the time. Decades later, that sum - still held in Saudi Arabia's treasury - has sparked a bitter tussle between two sprawling branches of the Keyi family, each trying to prove its lineage and claim what they see as their rightful inheritance. Neither side has succeeded so far. For decades, successive Indian governments - both at the Centre and in Kerala - have tried and failed to resolve the deadlock. It remains unclear if Saudi authorities are even willing to release the compensation, let alone adjust it for inflation as some family members now demand - with some claiming it could be worth over $1bn today. Followers of the case note the property was a waqf - an Islamic charitable endowment - meaning descendants can manage but not own it. The Saudi department that handles Awqaf (endowed properties) did not respond to the BBC's request for comment, and the government has made no public statement on the matter. That hasn't stopped speculation - about both the money and who it rightfully belongs to. Little is known about the guest house itself, but descendants claim it stood just steps from the Masjid al-Haram, with 22 rooms and several halls spread over 1.5 acres. According to family lore, Keyi shipped wood from Malabar to build it and appointed a Malabari manager to run it - an ambitious gesture, though not unusual for the time. Saudi Arabia was a relatively poor country back then - the discovery of its massive oil fields still a few decades away. The Hajj pilgrimage and the city's importance in Islam meant that Indian Muslims often donated money or built infrastructure for Indian pilgrims there. In his 2014 book, Mecca: The Sacred City, historian Ziauddin Sardar notes that during the second half of the 18th Century, the city had acquired a distinctively Indian character with its economy and financial well-being dependent on Indian Muslims. "Almost 20% of the city's inhabitants, the largest single majority, were now of Indian origins – people from Gujarat, Punjab, Kashmir and Deccan, all collectively known locally as the Hindis," Sardar wrote. As Saudi Arabia's oil wealth surged in the 20th century, sweeping development projects reshaped Mecca. Keyi Rubath was demolished three times, the final time in the early 1970s. That's when the confusion around compensation appears to have started. According to BM Jamal, former secretary of India's Central Waqf Council, the Indian consulate in Jeddah wrote to the government back then, seeking details of Mayankutty Keyi's legal heir. "In my understanding, authorities were looking for the descendants to appoint a manager for the property, not to distribute the compensation money," Mr Jamal said. Nonetheless, two factions stepped forward: the Keyis - Mayankutty's paternal family - and the Arakkals, a royal family from Kerala into which he had married. Both families traditionally followed a matrilineal inheritance system - a custom not recognized under Saudi law, adding further complexity. The Keyis claim that Mayankutty died childless, making his sister's children his rightful heirs under matrilineal tradition. But the Arakkals claim he had a son and a daughter, and therefore, under Indian law, his children would be the legal inheritors. As the dispute dragged on, the story took on a life of its own. In 2011, after rumours swirled that the compensation could be worth millions, more than 2,500 people flooded a district office in Kannur, claiming to be Keyi's descendants. "There were people who claimed that their forefathers had taught Mayankutty in his childhood. Others claimed that their forefathers had provided timber for the guest house," a senior Keyi family member, who wanted to stay anonymous, told the BBC. Scams followed. State officials say in 2017 fraudsters posing as Keyi descendants duped locals into handing over money, promising a share of the compensation. Today, the case remains unresolved. Some descendants propose the best way to end the dispute would be to ask the Saudi government to use the compensation money to build another guest house for Hajj pilgrims, as Myankutti Keyi had intended. But others reject this, arguing that the guest house was privately owned, and so any compensation rightfully belongs to the family. Some argue that even if the family proves lineage to Mayankutty Keyi, without ownership documents, they're unlikely to gain anything. For Muhammed Shihad, a Kannur resident who has co-authored a book on the history of the Keyi and Arakkal families, though, the dispute is not just about the money - but about honouring the family's roots. "If they don't get the compensation, it would be worth openly recognising the family's and the region's connection to this noble act."
