Real Men Don't Cry

MTV Lebanon

2 days ago

In Lebanon, boys grow up hearing the same message on repeat: be strong, be silent, don't fall apart. As they grow into men, the expectations only grow heavier. Provide for your family, protect them, and never show weakness.
But what happens when the world shifts and those expectations become impossible to meet?
After years of political instability, economic collapse, and emotional strain, many Lebanese men are silently crumbling under pressure. June, Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, is a crucial time to break that silence.
In an exclusive interview with MTV Website, psychiatrist Elina Dirani sheds light on the emotional weight men carry in a society that rarely allows them to speak.
'We live in a culture where a man is expected to be the provider and protector,' Dirani explains. 'That mindset shaped how men see themselves. They live to give and fix, often putting their needs last.'
But after years of crises, that role has become impossible for many. Financial stability is gone. Personal security feels out of reach. Men are losing their footing, unable to live up to a role they were taught to fulfill. The pressure is breaking them down.
The Stigma of Vulnerability
'Men are allowed to be angry, but not sad. Irritated, but not anxious. Vulnerability is mistaken for weakness,' Dirani explains. 'But mental health doesn't mean mental illness.'
Women are often given space to express emotions, cry, and seek help. Men rarely receive that permission. Many don't know how to label or express their feelings. A man who cries is seen as less masculine. But vulnerability is not weakness. It is honesty. Even heroes get tired.
What Mental Struggles Look Like in Men
Men often show depression through anger, irritability, or impulsiveness rather than sadness. Road rage, shouting, or shutting down can be signs of deeper pain.
'Addiction, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder are more common in men,' Dirani adds. 'And because society finds it more acceptable for men to smoke or drink to relax, these behaviors often go unnoticed or even encouraged.'
She also highlights media influence. Alcohol ads often show confident men drinking and becoming more attractive or powerful. 'These images reinforce the idea that confidence comes from substances,' she says. Even gifts reflect this: alcohol for men, flowers or sweets for women.
The Damage of 'Man Up' Culture
Phrases like 'real men don't cry' or 'be strong' do more harm than we think. 'They create internal conflict,' Dirani says. 'Men feel emotions but are told to ignore them. That suppression builds up as stress, anger, or numbness.'
To heal, men must first recognize and process their feelings. If taught to suppress emotion from childhood, how can they ever recover from pain?
'What doesn't kill you leaves marks,' she adds. 'Yes, hardship teaches us, but only if we allow ourselves to feel. That's not weakness. That's growth.'
Creating Space for Healing
Talking about mental health doesn't create problems. It solves them. Safe spaces help people feel seen and understood without judgment.
Change starts at home. 'Educating parents is essential,' Dirani says. 'Most beliefs about masculinity are passed down from family. Shifting that mindset begins with how we raise boys.'
Men are encouraged to speak up about what bothers them early, exercise regularly to calm the brain, build stable routines, take guilt-free time for themselves, and learn to express emotions.
Behind every strong father, brother, son, and friend is a human being who deserves support, love, and understanding. It's time to move beyond the outdated belief that strength means silence. If you're tired, that's okay. If you're struggling, it's okay to speak up.
True strength lies not in bottling things up but in knowing when to reach out.
Men matter. You matter. And we're here to listen.