'Darkest days' for father of missing Katrice Lee
The father of a two-year-old girl who vanished in 1981 has revealed how his vow to solve the mystery led him away from thoughts of self-harm.
No trace has ever been found of Katrice Lee, who went missing on her birthday near a military base in Germany where her father Richard was stationed.
In an episode of the new BBC podcast Katrice Lee: A Father's Story, he reveals how he contemplated taking his own life, but instead promised Katrice's sister, Natasha Walker, that he would continue his fight for answers.
Ms Walker, who lives in Hampshire, said the podcast revealed her father's "darkest days".
The first episode recounts how Katrice was with her mother Sharon and aunt Wendy at a Naafi supermarket in Paderborn on 28 November 1981, the girl's second birthday.
Katrice ran off down an aisle and was never seen again.
Authorities in Germany were initially suspicious of her parents and also speculated that Katrice had wandered unchallenged to the River Lippe and drowned.
However, Mr Lee, from Hartlepool, said the case should have been treated as a possible abduction.
He told the programme: "It was a nightmare that I didn't think would still be a nightmare 42 years later. I've never left day one in reality."
In 2012, Royal Military Police apologised for mistakes in their initial investigation.
Five years later, the force revealed that a man had been seen putting a child into a green car in the same area on the same day of Katrice's disappearance.
The information, which the force had received in 1981, led to a five-week excavation by soldiers of a site in Germany but no trace of the girl was found.
The podcast reveals Mr Lee's emotions, in interviews recorded at different points over the last 44 years.
He said: "I went down some very dark routes and very dark avenues. And at my lowest point, I actually thought about suicide.
"My choice was to continue the fight. I made a promise and that's what brought me out of the darkness.
"I made a promise to Natasha that I would continue the fight to get answers until I can no longer fight."
Ms Walker said: "It can be at times very difficult to listen to your parents breaking their hearts on this podcast.
"But then when you have an opportunity to raise awareness again that your sister is still missing, obviously you're going to do everything that you can."
In a statement, the Ministry of Defence said: "Our thoughts and sympathies remain with Katrice Lee's family and if anyone has any new information relating to the disappearance of Katrice they can contact us."
The podcast Katrice Lee: A Father's Story is available via the BBC Sounds app. If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article, help and support is available via BBC Action Line.
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