EXCLUSIVE I was born with both male and female 'attributes'... here's the harsh reality of my dating life
A woman who was born intersex has lifted a lid on the realities of dating while having 'both male and female attributes.'
Siera Arena, 27, from Lexington, Kentucky, grew up believing she was a perfectly normal girl.
But at age 16, she began to notice that she was 'different' from her peers.
She still hadn't started her period or gone through puberty, and she began to develop 'symptoms of menopause.'
'I wasn't getting any of the hormones I needed. I would get hot flashes and mood swings a lot, which was strange for a young teenager to experience,' she recalled exclusively to the Daily Mail.
'I also would get frequent headaches which I've since learned were likely hormone related as well.'
She brought it up during a checkup with her doctor, who ran a series of tests and discovered that her uterus and ovaries hadn't developed correctly.
Eventually, she was told she was intersex, which is when someone has 'physical sex characteristics, including sexual anatomy, reproductive organs, or chromosomes, that don't fit typical definitions of male or female.'
'Being intersex basically means that you don't fall on the binary for biological sex and can have both male and female attributes or characteristics,' she explained.
'In my case, I was born externally female, but I have XY chromosomes and instead of developing ovaries or testes, I had what are called streak (sterile) gonads, which don't produce the typical sex hormones needed to reach sexual maturity.
'It was a pretty jarring realization to have. You grow up planning your life around these societal norms and so when you find out that you're different and it will impact how you have relationships or start a family it can really reshape how you see everything and your future as a young person.'
When it comes to finding love, Siera said she doesn't usually bring up the fact that she's intersex 'until the topic of having kids comes up.'
'I can't conceive naturally and that's definitely something I like to be open about when having these types of conversations while dating,' she explained.
Siera admitted that she used to get really nervous about how she would tell her significant other, but now, she's realized it's not that 'big of a deal.'
'When I was still dating men it was something that I thought about a lot more, but now that I date women, it's really not as big of a deal as it used to feel for me when I was younger,' she added.
Siera is extremely open about her journey online, but she's unfortunately been subjected to a slew of cruel comments.
'Being intersex basically means that you don't fall on the binary for biological sex and can have both male and female attributes or characteristics,' she explained
'There are definitely some haters in the comments which can primarily be explained by ignorance,' she said in response to the trolls.
'Not a lot of people know what intersex is or means, so it makes sense people will try to invalidate something they don't understand.
'I know that I was born the way I am for a reason and I'm excited to see how that manifests, so I don't let hate comments bring me down.'
While Siera felt ashamed by her differences at first, she has since come to love her body.
'As I've gotten older, I've continually strengthened my ability to not care what others think,' she stated.
'This has helped me a lot in building my confidence in speaking about being intersex. The more I talk about it openly with others, the easier it becomes to stand in who I am confidently.
'I find it really comforting to have a better understanding of who I am and what it means to be Intersex.
'It's nice to be able to connect the dots on things that make me unique and different and knowing the words to describe my condition has helped me to foster a community with other intersex people online.'
In the end, she said she hopes that others who were 'born different' feel inspired by her story.
'There is a lot of power in having this unique perspective we have on life thanks to being born differently,' she gushed.
'Talk to your friends and family about it and become more comfortable sharing your story with others, because it can make a huge difference in everyone's lives.'
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Effects and mechanisms of resveratrol on aging and age-related diseases. Žmitek K, et al. (2024). The effects of dietary supplementation with collagen and vitamin C and their combination with hyaluronic acid on skin density, texture and other parameters: A randomised, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial.
