Some call it 'marrying up,' others call it 'gold digging.' What is hypergamy?
As the novel virus ravaged the city and paralyzed employment opportunities, the now 29-year-old decided to use her time during lockdown to explore a side hustle as an influencer on TikTok.
She posted videos about job hunting and résumé advice, documenting her own experience as she navigated unemployment. But her followers were interested in only one thing: How was she paying the bills?
Once she revealed her boyfriend (now fiancé) was paying for her New York City apartment, her followers wanted to know more about the dynamics of her relationship. Her job-hunting TikTok account turned into a dating advice page for people seeking a hypergamous relationship.
Sometimes referred to as 'marrying up,' hypergamy is the practice of creating a long-term or romantic relationship with somebody who has a higher status in a certain way or value, said Joy Berkheimer, a dating and relationship coach and sexologist based out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
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A hypergamous relationship is not only about economic status, she said. A person may want to 'marry up' for social, spiritual, intellectual or creative reasons, too.
Hypergamy is not a new concept and has historically carried a negative connotation due to terms like 'gold-digging.' But Kalinu said she feels it's gotten a modern, possibly even feminist 'facelift.'
Others view this modernization of hypergamy as a way to sanitize an inherently sexist idea, said Sheila Addison, a family and marriage therapist.
It's "just an effort to put old wine in new bottles because 'marrying up' and being a 'gold digger' or 'arm candy' or 'sugar daddy' or other, older terms make the sexism and classism more apparent," she argued.
Still, as some people share details about their hypergamous relationships online, more people feel comfortable openly pursuing this relationship dynamic and seeking the advice of dating coaches and websites specializing in hypergamy.
One such website, Seeking.com, has recently received scrutiny after it was mentioned in a lawsuit against billionaire and film producer David Geffen amid his public divorce from his estranged husband, David Armstrong, according to The New York Times.
Hypergamy may also be receiving more attention from women as they realize housework and caregiving responsibilities continue to fall on their shoulders despite equally contributing to household finances, Kalinu said.
Egalitarian marriages, where wives and husbands each contribute roughly half of the couple's combined earnings, are on the rise, according to a 2023 report from the Pew Research Center.
However, wives in egalitarian marriages are still spending more than double the amount of time on housework than their husbands and almost two more hours per week on caregiving.
'The reality is that if you're in a relationship with a man who also works and you also work, statistically, you will end up doing more house labor and caretaking,' Kalinu said. 'For me, hypergamy is about taking all that into account… It's like setting yourself up to have a beneficial relationship dynamic.'
Vocalizing the hypergamy also creates more transparency in the relationship, Berkheimer said. The person who is 'marrying up' can take steps to protect themselves from certain financial risks, such as through prenuptial agreements.
'People think it's 'gold digging' in disguise but modern hypergamy is more about reciprocity,' she said. 'It's making agreements out loud between all parties.'
It's important to have these conversations in a hypergamous relationship, Kalinu said. She advises her nearly 300,000 followers on TikTok to financially protect themselves through prenuptial agreements or remote, part-time work.
'They make more money and you are taking a risk,' she said. 'If they end up being a good person, they'll want to discuss these types of things with you and they understand the dynamic of what's happening.'
Adrianna Rodriguez can be reached at adrodriguez@usatoday.com.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Marrying up' or 'gold digging?' What to know about hypergamy.
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My daughters loved that they could loosen the hook-and-loop strap at the heel of the sandal and slide it on without adjusting the top strap or bungee closure. This rear strap also means that, should your kiddo have a rapid growth spurt halfway through the season, the sandal will likely accommodate the shift in size. They have a flexible lug sole and relatively wide toe box. The Dream Pairs sandals have a low profile and supple sole that is similar to the sole of our runner-up, the Keen Kids' Seacamp II CNX. The synthetic rubber sole's lug pattern is slightly less rugged than the pairs we recommend from Keen, but it still offers good traction on slippery width of its toe box falls directly between the Seacamp II CNX and the ultra-wide Keen Kids' Newport H2, which means it's a great choice for both wide and narrow feet. The Dream Pairs Kids Sports Sandal's lug sole isn't quite as rugged as that of our top and runner-up pairs, but it performed nearly as well in our traction tests. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The Dream Pairs Kids Sports Sandal costs significantly less than the Keen Kids' Newport H2, but it likely won't last through multiple kids. Still, we think it offers a lot of bang for your buck. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The Dream Pairs Kids Sports Sandal's lug sole isn't quite as rugged as that of our top and runner-up pairs, but it performed nearly as well in our traction tests. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter They're super comfortable, in and out of the water. The EVA foam insole is cushiony underfoot, and my daughters said the synthetic upper straps feel soft on their feet. Just like the Seacamp II CNX, it's lightweight but fits securely, so it's an excellent shoe for activities that involve both swimming and rock scrambling. The synthetic rubber toe cap protected toes just as well as the Keen pairs did in our testing. They're reasonably well made. The stitching on this shoe is surprisingly solid, and the upper is securely attached to the EVA insole and synthetic rubber outsole. Just like with the Keen pairs, the bungee closure operates smoothly. Flaws but not dealbreakers They're less durable than other pairs we recommend. Though Amazon reviews of this sandal are mostly positive, many complain of broken straps or deteriorating insoles. During testing, the hook-and-loop straps began to fray around the edges, but this didn't affect their function. Just like our runner-up, they let the outside in. My 8-year-old complained that, because the straps on this sandal are widely spaced and the heel is open, more small stones made their way into the shoe than with our top pick, the Newport H2. Dream Pairs does not recommend machine-washing the pair. Though some reviews have attested that these shoes do fine in the washing machine, I opted against it because a representative from Dream Pairs told me that they should only be hand-washed. 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They're expertly constructed. All the stitching on the Reima Lean is top notch, from the accordion stitch around the stretchy ankle opening to the straight stitch securing the pull tab at the rear of the shoe. The synthetic textile upper, which is glued onto the synthetic rubber sole, stayed firmly fixed in place during testing. The removable insole nestles perfectly into the shoe, which wasn't the case with every water shoe we tested. The smooth rubber soles on the Reima Lean UPF 50+ Water Shoes offer a surprising amount of traction, and significantly more protection from sharp rocks and sticks than other similar pairs we tested. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The ankle opening is extra stretchy, which meant our testers could easily put this shoe on and take it off independently. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The cloth pull tab in the back is big enough for little kids to wiggle their fingers through, which further helps with easy on-and-off. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The Reima Lean's smooth and stretchy fabric offers UPF 50+ protection, which can help prevent uncomfortable top-of-the-foot sunburns. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The smooth rubber soles on the Reima Lean UPF 50+ Water Shoes offer a surprising amount of traction, and significantly more protection from sharp rocks and sticks than other similar pairs we tested. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The sturdy sole provides slip resistance and toe protection. The synthetic rubber outsole on the Reima Lean looks smooth, with minimal grooves compared with the lug soles of the hybrid sandals we tested, but in our testing this shoe offered good traction on slick beach stones and rocks. And because the sole curls up onto the upper, especially around the front, it offers more protection from toe stubbing than other flat-soled water shoes. Despite its heft, the sole is flexible and pliable. They're machine-washable. Once you remove the insoles, you can put the shoes in the washing machine on delicate cycle. Just like the more rugged (machine-washable) waterproof hiking sandals we tested, they emerged from the spin cycle nearly dry. Flaws but not dealbreakers They come in only four colors. Though the three patterns and single solid color these water shoes come in are attractive, and my kids were drawn to the pair we tested, it would be nice if a wider variety of colors were available. They're on the narrow side. At just 3 inches wide in a size 13, this is the narrowest water shoe we tested. But my 8-year-old has wide feet, and she still found it comfortable. This is likely due to the stretchiness of the textile upper — it didn't bother her that her feet were slightly wider than the sole, and the fabric didn't seem to suffer from being slightly stretched. Still, if you know your kid has wide feet, they may not be the best choice. 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Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter The Merrell Little Kid's Bare Steps H2O Water Shoe's extra nubbly sole offers new walkers superior traction protection at the beach, the pool, and the local splash pad. Michael Hession/NYT Wirecutter Its nubbly outsole provides critical traction to unsteady walkers. Little kids are prone to wiping out — it's just a fact of life. The Bare Steps H20 Water Shoe features deep, multidirectional grooves with a textured pattern that offers security on slippery wet rocks. The squishy EVA footbed insert is extra comfy. It offers nearly full coverage without sacrificing breathability. While some of the water-friendly toddler shoes we tested felt more like sneakers and were too bulky for beach days, these shoes feel like low-profile water shoes. Their synthetic upper is durable but extremely light, and leather-like reinforcements around the toe, heel, and strap offer durability without adding too much bulk. 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We preferred the sock-like pairs, and the Jiasuqi water shoe has the most colors with this style. It also has the highest percentage of five-star ratings of the three pairs and the widest size range, starting at toddler size 3. We found that the ultra-thin and stretchy upper material can easily accommodate different foot shapes, and it's extremely lightweight and comfortable for swimming. As you might expect, many reviews online complain about their lack of durability, but for around $12, it's a decent budget option. If you want a sleeker-looking water-friendly shoe: The Native Jefferson is another favorite of multiple Wirecutter parents. These slip-ons share many of the virtues of Crocs Kids' Classic Clogs, but they have a narrower fit, so they can be harder for little kids to pull onto wet feet. They also share some of the downfalls of Crocs clogs — mainly that they're not ideal for hiking or swimming. And unlike Crocs clogs, these shoes cannot be put in the washing machine. But they're well suited for daily use. Editor Marilyn Ong loves them for her three kids: 'They're a great water shoe that can stand in for 'real' shoes when you show up for dinner at a restaurant,' she said. They come in a ton of colors and styles, and they're sized for toddlers through adults. We also tested and liked the Native Robbie, which is similar to the Jefferson style but feels more athletic, with a grippier outsole and springier insole. Laura Motley for NYT Wirecutter After reading about dozens of pairs of kids water shoes, waterproof hiking sandals, and other versatile waterproof shoes online, I selected 26 well-liked pairs to test. I looked for: Comfort above all else: Shoes or sandals that feel tight, stiff, or otherwise uncomfortable are nonstarters for kids. I looked for pairs with supportive soles, flexible uppers, and wide toe boxes. Shoes or sandals that feel tight, stiff, or otherwise uncomfortable are nonstarters for kids. I looked for pairs with supportive soles, flexible uppers, and wide toe boxes. Quick-drying materials: Putting on a soggy shoe is no fun, and shoes that dry faster tend to stink less. Putting on a soggy shoe is no fun, and shoes that dry faster tend to stink less. Easy on and off: Bungee closures or hook-and-loop fastening should be easy for all but the littlest kids to operate by themselves, or the material of the shoe should be stretchy enough to easily slip on and off. Bungee closures or hook-and-loop fastening should be easy for all but the littlest kids to operate by themselves, or the material of the shoe should be stretchy enough to easily slip on and off. Solid traction: Both water shoes and hiking sandals should have rugged soles that offer solid slip protection — river stones and algae-coated beach rocks can be exceptionally slick. Both water shoes and hiking sandals should have rugged soles that offer solid slip protection — river stones and algae-coated beach rocks can be exceptionally slick. Easy cleaning: Many waterproof kids shoes are machine-washable. Some are easily wiped clean. We dismissed pairs that stain easily or require tedious hand-washing. Many waterproof kids shoes are machine-washable. Some are easily wiped clean. We dismissed pairs that stain easily or require tedious hand-washing. Durability: Ideally, a high-quality kids shoe or sandal will last at least a couple seasons (depending on how fast a kid's feet grow). And if you have multiple kids, your eldest's shoes should easily achieve hand-me-down status. Ideally, a high-quality kids shoe or sandal will last at least a couple seasons (depending on how fast a kid's feet grow). And if you have multiple kids, your eldest's shoes should easily achieve hand-me-down status. A wide variety of colors and patterns: If your kid would rather wear their sparkly Mary Jane shoes to summer camp, an appealing-looking (but practical) water shoe or sandal might help your cause. Before I sent the water shoes and sandals to the creek for real-world testing, I weighed and measured each pair (either size 13 or 1) and compared the width of the toe boxes especially. I also inspected the fastening systems and ruggedness of the soles. To test how quickly the shoes dried, I submerged them all in a bathtub around 3 p.m. and then laid them out on my back porch on a sunny day. I brought them in around 7 p.m. to protect them from overnight dew and rain. In the morning, I noted which pairs were dry and which were still uncomfortably damp. I also washed every pair according to manufacturer instructions and assessed their condition afterwards. Then I unleashed the shoes into the wild and listened to my kids' observations at the end of each camp day — plying them with frozen treats as needed in order to eke out as many details as possible. Coco McCracken, a fellow mom and writer who is currently reporting a Wirecutter guide on the best first shoes for kids, tested several pairs of toddler water shoes and sandals with her 2-year-old and other kid styles with her 5-year-old. She noted how easy (or difficult) it was to put the toddler pairs on and take them off. Then she observed as her kiddo toddled in the water and on the beach, and she noted any blisters or general discomfort. The Aleader Kid's XDrain Classic Knit Water Shoes have an appealing look and an intriguing design, with synthetic knit uppers and cushiony soles with drainage holes. But the textile upper showed dirt immediately, and Aleader recommends against putting them in the washing machine. This made them hard to keep clean. The popular-on-Amazon Centipede Demon Kids Water Shoes and Joinfree Kids Water Shoes are nearly identical to the Jiasuqi Kids Water Shoes, which are worth considering, but the Centipede Demon and Joinfree pairs come in a smaller range of sizes, and more of their available colors feature hook-and-loop closures, which we didn't like as much as sock-style slip-on water shoes. The Merrell Big Kid's Hydro 2 Sandal is similar to our top pick, the Keen Kids' Newport H2, with ample rubber toe protection and a hook-and-loop fastening system. But the bungee laces aren't adjustable, and some of our testers said that the stiff tongue of the shoe pressed into their ankles. Its toe box is about a half inch narrower than the Newport H2, so toes can't splay out as comfortably in these shoes. My daughters found the Merrell Big Kid's Hydro Quest shoes to be very comfortable, with a soft insole and stretchy synthetic upper. But they run narrow and long, so it may be hard to find the right size for your kid. They also come in only three colors. Two of our testers, ages 5 and 2, suffered painful break-in blisters with the Native Chase sandals, but they liked the way they looked. After the blisters healed, they became a favored daily shoe, but they're not as sturdy as the Native Jefferson style for running around. They could be a good fashion-forward waterproof sandal option for a kid who's willing to break them in. The Plae Sam 2-0 Sandal did well in our testing, proving to be comfortable and relatively quick-drying. It's also machine-washable. But it comes in only three colors, and our older testers weren't drawn to the look. We tried the See Kai Run Aven Mini and found that, while it was a struggle to get on a wiggly toddler's foot, it was a great shoe. See Kai Run is discontinuing this shoe. The company told us the Wilder II is similar, but as of July 2025 we haven't tested it. Our littlest tester did well in the Stride Rite Wade shoes on a cool day at the beach, but overall they felt too bulky and structured for most poolside and oceanside play. Though they're a hybrid shoe, like the Keen Kids' Newport H2, they feel more like a sneaker and less like a water shoe. We appreciate the fact that they're machine-washable, though. We found that Ten Little's Everyday Sandals were much more comfortable than the company's Splash Sandals, and they offered a surprising amount of traction. But they only come in three colors, and their sizing is geared towards smaller kids. Ten Little's Splash Sandals are like fashionable Crocs clogs, made with similar EVA foam but with the addition of a hook-and-loop strap and heel coverage. Our testers said the foam was stiffer and less comfortable than Crocs clogs, and while they loved the way they looked, they didn't seem to want to keep them on. The Teva Kid's Hurricane XLT 2 is a slightly more rugged version of the classic Teva, which I grew up hiking in during the 1990s. It worked well for me at the time, but that was before Keen upped the hiking sandal game in the early 2000s. Our testers preferred ultra-comfortable hybrid-style shoes with toe protection. Still, these Teva sandals come in appealing patterns and feel well made. The Teva Kid's Manatee Water Sandal appears to be Teva's answer to Keen's Newport H2, but our testers found it wasn't as comfortable. Plus, it only comes in three colors and is available in far fewer sizes than the Newport H2. After trying on the uniquely unattractive Ubfen Water Shoe, my daughters admitted that it was surprisingly comfortable. But upon close inspection, I noticed that the glue was coming out of the seam between the outsole and the upper, and overall it didn't seem very high quality — especially considering that when it's not on sale, it only costs around $5 less than one of our top picks, the Reima Lean Water Shoe. Jan and Jul Quick Dry Water Shoes come in several cute patterns and feature sturdy but flexible soles with a wide toe box. But the elastic around the opening doesn't give very much, and we had a hard time fitting them on our tiny tester's foot. Some reviews say they run small, and others say they don't stay on kids' feet. The Apolter Baby Water Shoes are highly reviewed on Amazon, but like with the Jan and Jul water shoes, it was hard to fit our toddler tester's foot through the opening. We might have had better luck if we'd sized up, but reviews offer mixed opinions on whether these shoes run big or small. Feet City Baby Water Shoes were much easier to get on than the other toddler water shoes we tested, with their hook-and-loop straps, but then they didn't stay on. And their textured EVA soles didn't offer much slip protection. This article was edited by Kalee Thompson and Amy Miller Kravetz.
Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Yahoo
COTERIE New York Unveils Transformative 2025 Experience with New Buyer and Customer Experience Programs
NEW YORK, NY / / August 19, 2025 / With nearly 700 brands from 45 countries converging on the Javits Center, COTERIE New York is set to deliver unprecedented global market access as fashion's most influential players count down to the must-attend event of the season from Sept. 14-16, 2025. Strategically aligned with New York Fashion Week, COTERIE offers an unparalleled opportunity for fashion professionals to immerse themselves into the complete New York fashion experience, effortlessly transitioning between runway shows and the expansive COTERIE's dynamic marketplace. As the premier global showcase for contemporary and advanced contemporary women's fashion, COTERIE will transform the fashion landscape by uniting thousands of cutting-edge brands, discerning buyers and industry tastemakers under one roof. This season's expanded offering spans an impressive array of collections across apparel, accessories, footwear, home, gift and beauty, cementing COTERIE New York as the ultimate fashion discovery destination. ELEVATED BUYER EXPERIENCE TAKES CENTER STAGE The 2025 fall edition introduces new initiatives designed to enhance the retailer experience. The exclusive Hosted Buyer Program delivers VIP access, personalized scheduling, and premium networking opportunities with industry-leading brands creating a tailored pathway to business growth. This strategic matchmaking connects qualified buyers with innovative products perfectly aligned with specific needs, maximizing return on investment and fostering meaningful industry relationships. FASHION'S ELITE CONVERGE The biannual event welcomes influential retailers this September, with leading names including Bloomingdale's, Anthropologie, Le Bon Marche and Printemps, alongside specialty boutiques such as Julian Gold, Hemline, Maison Weiss and Monkees. The diverse mix of participants extends beyond traditional fashion retail with Equinox and Nikki Beach Lifestyle joining the lineup, reflecting the growing intersection between fashion, lifestyle and experiential retail. "COTERIE New York continues to evolve as the premier destination where global fashion innovation meets commerce," says Purvi Kanji, Vice President of COTERIE. "This season, we're particularly excited about our expanded international presence, with standout collections from European brands alongside emerging designers from across Asia and South America. Additionally, the enhanced buyer and customer experience programs this September create a seamless journey for attendees to efficiently navigate between the show floor, city showrooms, and networking opportunities-truly redefining the traditional trade show experience." SEAMLESS CITY NAVIGATION Enhancing the attendee experience further, COTERIE New York introduces a convenient shuttle service connecting the main event to centralized areas near top city showrooms. These vehicles depart every 1-2 hours during the event, ensuring efficient transportation between COTERIE and essential showroom appointments across Manhattan. This complimentary service allows buyers to maximize productivity while experiencing the full spectrum of New York's fashion offerings. DESTINATON: RESORT WEAR The highly anticipated destination neighborhood returns as one of the events most coveted and meticulously curated sections. Also returning this season is an exciting collaboration with Vogue Mexico and Latin America to elevate the curation of this resort-focused showcase. Attendees will discover a selection of advanced contemporary resort and vacation fashion from the industry's most innovative designers, featuring resortwear, swimwear and vacation inspired collections that define luxury getaway style. COTERIE and PROJECT Support New York Men's Day Leading up to the event, COTERIE and PROJECT will sponsor New York Men's Day on Thursday, Sept. 11th, 2025. Returning as presenting sponsor, PROJECT and COTERIE will have a presence with their dedicated lounge at New York Men's Day. This collaboration demonstrates both organizations' commitment to supporting emerging talent and creating meaningful connections across all segments of the fashion industry. For more information about exhibiting or attending, visit For the most up to date news and trends follow COTERIE New York on social @coterie_show. About COTERIE New York: COTERIE is the premier women's contemporary to advanced contemporary apparel, footwear, and accessories platform. Connecting emerging and established brands and designers to an elite list of domestic and international retailers, influencers, and media, COTERIE's first-class events build exclusive experiences that fuel discovery, commerce, and connectivity, while inspiring upmarket trends. For more information, please visit: About Informa Markets Informa Markets, a subsidiary of Informa plc (LON:INF), creates platforms for industries and specialist markets to trade, innovate and grow. With a global reach and diverse portfolio of verticals, including Pharmaceuticals, Food, Medical Technology and Infrastructure, Informa Markets connects buyers and sellers worldwide through face-to-face exhibitions, targeted digital services and actionable data solutions. For more information, visit Media ContactInforma Markets North America PR Fashionpr@ SOURCE: INFORMA MARKETS - FASHION View the original press release on ACCESS Newswire
