‘I'm a Therapist—This Is How I Calm My Anxiety in Seconds'

Yahoo

11-05-2025

In small amounts, anxiety is good for you. It keeps you alert in risky situations and can motivate you to prioritize deadlines and pressing tasks on your to-do list. The problem is when you're feeling anxious about situations that shouldn't feel so daunting, like making plans with friends, driving to a new place or eating alone at a restaurant.What should you do when anxiety spirals cause your heart to pound and make it hard to focus? Parade spoke with therapists about how they manage those overwhelming moments—and the quickest ways to calm anxiety fast.
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Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC, an anxiety, trauma and attachment therapist at Evolution To Healing, says the first thing she teaches her clients when anxiety begins is not to resist it.
It might sound counterintuitive at first: If anxiety is causing these awful feelings of dread, why wouldn't you want to fight it? This goes back to the purpose of anxiety: it evolved to keep human ancestors alert enough to escape potential threats, like a nearby lion (also known as "fight orflight"). While most people nowadays aren't battling predators in the wild, anxiety still appears because it is telling the body there's a problem to solve.
"Most people treat anxiety like an enemy," explains Groskopf. "I help my clients treat it like a message." Instead of going to battle with anxiety, Groskopf recommends the following steps when you're feeling anxious.
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First, name what's happening. It can be something as simple as saying these words out loud: "I'm noticing anxiety." A quick acknowledgment and pause after you speak puts distance between you and the anxious feeling. "It signals to your brain that there's no emergency—just a pattern running," says Groskopf.
Next, drop into your body, not your brain. An anxious mind tends to race with worst-case scenarios and endless 'what ifs,' but Groskopf says those thoughts often misinterpret what the body is actually trying to communicate.Instead of getting caught up in them, she recommends doing a body scan. Gently bring your attention to different parts of your body, and ask yourself: Where do I feel the anxiety? What exactly does it feel like?Then, see if you can let the sensation just be there—without trying to fix or solve it.Related:
Third, try getting curious instead of reactive. Rather than focusing on everything that's going wrong, ask yourself if there's another way to look at the situation—or think about what you'd tell a friend if they were in your shoes."Even something simple like, 'This is uncomfortable, but I've gotten through things like this before,' can make a difference," says , a therapist at Reframe CBT.Related:
Don't underestimate the power of breathing. Taking in a few intentional breaths sends a message to the brain that you're not actually in any danger."It puts oxygen into our blood, lowers our heart rate and it calms our body and therefore our nervous system," says , a clinical therapist and founder of Rocky Mountain Counseling Collective. "It doesn't have to be the only tool you use, but it is a good place to start.Start by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Slowing your breath as you inhale and exhale can help calm anxiety more effectively. Hingsbergen recommends this simple pattern: Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four and hold again for four. Repeat for a minute or two and notice how your body begins to settle.Related: Breathwork for Anxiety: What Is It, and Does It Work?
If you're feeling anxious in public, you might not feel comfortable talking to yourself or taking big, noticeable breaths. A more discreet option? Progressive muscle relaxation. Starting at the top of your head, Reid-Vanas suggests gently tensing and then releasing each muscle group as you move down your body—all the way to your toes."It is a strategy when anxiety comes on in the moment and can be done anywhere in the hallway, office, bathroom, etc.," says Reid-Vanas. "Likely, no one will even know you are doing this."
Finally,Reid-Vanas encourages his clients to think of a specific place or moment when they felt truly happy. 'It could be lying in bed under a cozy comforter, or a fun vacation with family or friends when you felt carefree,' he says.
The goal is to take a mental break from the overwhelm by going there—if only in your mind.
Imagining your happy place acts as a reminder that the overwhelming feelings you're experiencing won't last forever. If you're having trouble visualizing, try closing your eyes—especially if the source of your anxiety is right in front of you.
Once you're grounded, Reid-Vanas says, you'll likely feel more clear-headed and better equipped to face the situation.
Up NextCheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC is an anxiety, trauma and attachment therapist at Evolution To Healing.
Julie Hingsbergen, MS, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist at Reframe CBT.
Cory Reid-Vanas, MA, LMFT is a clinical therapist and founder of Rocky Mountain Counseling Collective.