Who Wants Normal? The Disabled Girls' Guide to Life by Frances Ryan review

The Guardian

13-04-2025

When Frances Ryan began writing her second book she could hardly have guessed that it would acquire a supercharged degree of relevance by being published in the immediate wake of another programme of brutal cuts to disability benefits, this time by a Labour government. Ryan's acclaimed 2019 debut, Crippled: Austerity and the Demonisation of Disabled People, was a piece of political reportage documenting the effects of austerity measures by coalition and Conservative governments, through a combination of research and first-hand interviews with disabled people whose experiences illustrated the human cost behind the statistics.
Who Wants Normal? takes a more conversational approach. A hybrid memoir-polemic-advice-manual, the book examines more personal topics such as body image, dating and relationships, specifically as these relate to disabled women. But if the personal is always political for women, this goes tenfold for women living with disabilities; as Ryan shows, even something as ordinary as going to the pub with friends can be a minefield for anyone who has limited mobility, sensory challenges or who uses a wheelchair. Almost every aspect of life for disabled women is affected by societal attitudes and basic infrastructure that can combine to deny access, from the intimate matters of sex and clothing, to more obviously structural issues of healthcare, education and representation, all of which she tackles here with robust analysis and wry humour.
In recent years, Ryan has become one of the most authoritative voices on representation and policy as they relate to disabled people in the UK, though she bridles at the fact that she is frequently described as the Guardian's 'disability columnist', 'despite this role not existing at the paper and my work focusing on politics'. As a wheelchair user from childhood, who now also lives with the effects of chronic illness, Ryan writes from a perspective still all-too-rare in mainstream publications – as she notes in her chapter on representation, 'disabled women working in the media are essentially like Superman and Clark Kent: you never see them in a room at the same time'.
She takes a broad definition of her subject, citing the statistic that almost a quarter of people in the UK say they have some form of disability; among her high-profile interviewees she includes not only women with visible physical impairments, but those living with 'hidden' disabilities such as Crohn's, ME or endometriosis, as well as bipolar disorder, depression and neurodivergence. 'No one really talks about what it is to be a disabled woman, especially a young one,' she writes, and in the chapter on relationships she discusses the importance of finding a community with whom you can discuss – and laugh about – shared experiences. This book is a way of offering that community to readers, who will find here stories to inspire, enrage and encourage from women with a range of disabilities who have successfully navigated careers in politics, sport, entertainment, medicine, psychology and media, often in spite of significant barriers. But it would be a shame if the subtitle deterred non-disabled readers, because there are so many accounts here that highlight issues that remain largely invisible to those who have not experienced them, and which need to be solved collectively.
Perhaps the most striking aspect of the book, though, is its frequently celebratory tone. There is plenty to be angry about in the way disabled women are treated, as Ryan's blistering columns since the recent welfare cuts have shown, but Who Wants Normal? is also a defiant call to embrace what she calls 'disabled joy', to show disabled women living full and happy lives as a counter to the stereotypes. Non-disabled women could learn valuable lessons about self-acceptance and the radical rejection of beauty standards from her chapter on body image, and the women she has chosen to interview are the kind of role models Ryan says she wishes she had had growing up: a final chapter consists of pithy life advice from each of her main contributors, who include Jameela Jamil, Katie Piper, and Tanni Grey-Thompson, among many others.
At a time when disability continues to be misunderstood, questioned and vilified, Ryan offers a vision of how much disabled women already contribute to society, and how much more might be possible with a more imaginative shift in perspective, both individually and politically.
Who Wants Normal? by Frances Ryan is published by Fig Tree (£18.99). To support the Guardian and Observer order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply. The audiobook, read by Ruth Madeley, is also out now