Have you said thank you once, Paul?

The Age

21 hours ago

John Glaister of Buderim (Qld) reckons it's time to send in the big dogs: 'Albo needs to ask Paul Keating to go to Washington and help Kevin sort out this tariff stuff. MAGA reviewer Elbridge Colby can keep the subs as long as we can use the deposit as a forward payment on all our tariffs. The Donald will be impressed at the former PM's command of English and I, for one, would pay money to see J.D. Vance's attempt to browbeat Saint Paul.'
'Missing from the list of Whitechapel Ripper derivations [C8] were local travel agent Jack the Tripper, local comedian Jack the Quipper, fastener salesman Jack the Zipper and failed golfer Jack the Yipper,' informs Jim Dewar of Davistown.
The indications aren't good for Geoff Carey of Pagewood: 'Look a little closer next time you see no signal from a European car [C8]. If, like me, the driver has switched between European and Japanese models, they may observe the windscreen wipers in action instead of the indicators, and the passenger in fits of laughter. A little dipsy yes, but not always arrogant.'
'As the elderly driver of an elderly Mercedes, I take exception to the aspersions cast on the drivers of such cars,' declares Mary Poirrier of Wahroonga. 'I am one of the few people I know who indicates left when exiting a roundabout, therefore removing any worry for other drivers as to whether I'm turning right or chucking a u-ey. Can those drivers of non-German cars say the same?'
Richard Hambly of Potts Point reports that 'the lovely events manager at the Cruising Yacht Club of Australia (CYCA) at Rushcutters Bay is one Rebecca Fleet'.
'Before the State of Origin decider, my resident morning dove nearly drove me scatty with its wake-up call of what sounded akin to 'New South Wales', repeated ad nauseam,' says Don Bain of Port Macquarie. 'It's since been replaced by the mourning dove.'
When David Prest (C8) decided not to take in a performance of Vanessa the Undresser at the Royal Easter Show, he offered youth and nativity as the reason, but Andrew McCarthy of Toormina isn't having a bar of it: 'I find young apprentice David Prest's (20th Intake HMAS Nirimba) claim of naivety a little hard to believe. As a true RAN MOBI (Most Objectionable Bastard Imaginable), he would have been in that tent like a rat up a drainpipe.'