A Decades-Long Friendship Turns to Love

New York Times

23-05-2025

Gianine Denise Rosenblum doesn't see herself as a poet. As a clinical psychologist, she is a 'science writer,' she said. But when she and Stuart Miller got together in 2022, after decades of friendship, she found herself writing poems. 'They would burst out of her,' Mr. Miller, 59, said.
The two first met on the phone on Oct. 1, 1983, when they were 17 and in their senior year of high school in Brooklyn. She attended Edward R. Murrow, and he was at Midwood.
Back then, Dr. Rosenblum, who goes by Gia and is now 58, had just gone on a date with Mr. Miller's friend. The friend was at Mr. Miller's house in Prospect Park South, Brooklyn, and passed the phone around for friends to say hello.
When Mr. Miller got on the line, they said they talked for two hours, bonding over Monty Python and other shared interests.
She started dating his friend and joined their friend group, watching Marx Brothers movies and even sneaking along on his high school's senior trip. After high school, they remained friends.
In 1987, they studied abroad in Europe — she in Copenhagen, he in London — and met up to travel to different European cities. By then, she and Mr. Miller's friend had broken up, they said. Regardless, they felt that a relationship between them was off-limits. But there was 'romantic tension,' they said. A year or two later, he wanted to date, but she didn't feel the same way.
Over the ensuing decades, they built lives and careers. They both got married and started families. She earned a bachelor's degree in psychology from SUNY Albany and master's and doctorate degrees in psychology from Rutgers. She is now a clinical psychologist in private practice in Lawrenceville, N.J.
Mr. Miller has a bachelor's degree in English from Tufts University and a master's in journalism from Columbia. He is a freelance journalist with work in publications including The New York Times, and the author of 'The 100 Greatest Days in New York Sports.'
As their paths diverged, they kept in touch through phone calls and email. They sometimes got together for movies, Broadway shows and museum outings.
'We would always find ways to stay in touch,' he said.
In June 2022, Mr. Miller interviewed a filmmaker whose film featured a character who meets a soul mate, but can't be with her for various reasons. The film reminded Mr. Miller of his experience with Dr. Rosenblum, and he reached out to her. They talked on the phone for over two hours.
'It was literally like a lightbulb went off,' Dr. Rosenblum said of hanging up. At the time, she was in the process of separating from her ex-husband, she said.
'I suddenly had this feeling of: What are the odds that I would ever find someone who I am as compatible with, who I already love, who I share so much with, who I trust so completely, who I have such deep feelings for?' She decided to tell Mr. Miller how she felt.
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Later that summer, they met up in New Jersey's Mercer County Park. They sat and talked for a long time, and found that the feelings were mutual. By the fall, they said they were both separated from their spouses. Both divorces were finalized in 2024.
Now in a new phase, Dr. Rosenblum and Mr. Miller got to know each other as a couple, going on park dates and seeing performances together.
For their first big trip as a couple, they returned to Barcelona, which was one of their favorite places in college. They also visited Valencia, Spain, for the first time. Mr. Miller described it as 'the romance of going to the old place, and then exploring something new.'
Early on, she knew that she wanted to marry him.
Around that time, Mr. Miller mentioned the idea of getting married one day. 'I said it half in jest because I didn't know how she would react, but I obviously meant it,' he said. She felt relieved, and confessed she'd been looking at wedding dresses online.
On May 8, they eloped in Dead Horse Point State Park in Moab, Utah. Aimée Flynn, a Universal Life Church minister and photographer, officiated. The bride wore a dress from the collection of free wedding dresses at the Maurice M. Pine Free Public Library in Fair Lawn, N.J., and cowboy boots she bought online.
They exchanged vows, played music on a portable speaker and toasted with Prosecco and brownies.
They plan to have a celebration at Camp Sacajawea in Sparta, N.J., in July, with about 120 guests, including Dr. Rosenblum's daughter from her previous marriage, and Mr. Miller's two sons from his, who are all in their 20s.
When they were interviewing wedding photographers, one asked why they had chosen Moab as their destination. Dr. Rosenblum said, 'I want the vista to be a representation of the expansiveness of our love.'