Joanna Fortune: How can I control my young children on their first flight?

Irish Examiner

03-06-2025

We're going on holidays at the end of June. It's my children's first time on a plane. The oldest is five and gets anxious easily, while the youngest, at three, is a tearaway and difficult to control. I'm already dreading the trip, though it's weeks away. What would you suggest?
The key here is to plan for the journey. Ensure that you have a small backpack for each of them, containing the bits and pieces they like. These might include colouring books, a beloved teddy, and a small travel game, such as Connect 4. Also, ensure you have snacks they enjoy, as they may not like what is offered on the flight.
Try to book flight times around their sleeping or nap schedules, or at least for a time when they won't be too tired or irritable upon boarding. Ensure you have your preferred seating arrangement all together. And bring a treat, such as lollipops, to suck on during takeoff and landing to protect their ears from popping.
Arrive early enough at the airport to ensure there is no need to rush, allowing time for the children to move and relax, as well as to use the toilet before boarding.
Take a playful approach to your planning. Set up a plane in your living room (arrange the dining table chairs in to pairs, lined behind each other, with leg space in between). In your first role as security screener, ask them all place their bags into a bucket or basin to go through your 'X-ray machine', so that they are prepared to hand their bags over at that point, which some children find difficult.
Your next role is to be the air steward, and you will distribute hand-drawn boarding passes and provide each child with a backpack (school bags are also acceptable) to carry their belongings.
Have them line up to show you their boarding passes, and then direct them to find their seat numbers. Tell them that their bags must be stowed under the seat in front for takeoff and help them close their seatbelts for takeoff (tie a scarf around each chair). Stand and make up some safety announcements, such as:
All children flying must listen to what their parents tell them;
If the seatbelt sign is lighting up, you must stay in your seat with your belt on;
All passengers can enjoy their flight, so everyone must use their 'inside voices' when on the plane.
Next, hand out small trays (a piece of cardboard is fine) for a snack, and then take the snack away. Let them know they can use some supplies from their bags for drawing, etc. Finish by practising the format for landing, such as trays away, seatbelts on.
This game allows you to convey some of the rules for flying. If you play this a few times in the coming weeks, you can refer back to the play when on board.
Make a list and ensure you are packed well in advance. Weigh your bags and pack some play items in your own backpack to offer variety if they tire of their own items.
You don't specify the duration of the flight, but adjust all the above in line with your flight duration to determine how many toys or snacks you will need to get through it. And, most of all, have fun on your holiday. You've waited and planned for this, so be sure to make the most of it.
If you have a question for child psychotherapist Dr Joanna Fortune, please send it to [e-mail]