Kiss Cam whammy made us chuckle, but it has triggered my bonk ban fixation
I have zero idea why workplaces can't institute a bonk ban. Sure, at the same level and with no chain of command issues, there's barely a risk – except for the one where you can say to a trusted colleague: Geez, that bloke [you're rooting] is utterly useless.
When advocating for workplace bonk bans, I've been reprimanded by former students who tell me that work is the only place they meet people. My advice? Get out more.
We could and should emulate prime ministers Malcolm Turnbull and Anthony Albanese. Turnbull imposed the bonk ban after the chaos of Barnaby Joyce's love life. Albanese continued the policy because it was the sensible thing to do. My god, I loved watching the musical chairs among staffers in the wake of the first round of BB.
Why does workplace bonking hurt the rest of us? Here are my own personal experiences.
Exhibit A. Let's call him Leaden Fool. He had come along to an event I'd organised. He'd spotted a gorgeous young talent and asked for contact details. A few months later, the young thing got a job with us. They then embarked on a relationship that both denied ever existed. Exhausting. They backed each other up in every single crucial decision made. There was never any room for discussion. If they weren't bonking, they were certainly barracking for each other in every way possible. One has gone on to bigger things, the other consigned to the dustbin of history. But it took a long time and damaged people and processes along the way.
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But probably my least favourite experience of working with a couple was working with a throuple (strictly speaking, throuples are consensual all ways). Anyhow, this drunken sleaze was bonking two junior reporters in the same period of time. The sweeties apparently had no idea, although all the other junior reporters knew because, well, journalists are trained observers unless they are in a sex haze. That didn't end well either. And there were civilians hurt in the process who should have had the chance to grieve in private.
Megan Kerrigan didn't get a chance to grieve in private. She discovered the bad news when everyone else did, when millions of others did. Her husband, Andy Byron, and his, ahem, date, Kristin Cabot, were caught on Kiss Cam at a Coldplay concert. Sure, it's easy to get swept up in what the Conservatorium's Dr Brad Fuller describes to me as looping chords, shimmering guitars and falsetto vocals, both intimate and epic. But you could tell, even under the veil of shame, these two knew each other. In a biblical sense.
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Coalition of Peaks lead convener Pat Turner said the partnership was about putting Indigenous communities in control of their economic future."Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have been clear for decades that our community-controlled organisations are the best employers of our people, providing the foundation for our economic development," she said. Addressing the crowd at Garma, Yolngu leader and chair of the Yothu Yindi Foundation Djawa Yunupingu said he wanted a real economy for his people. "We intend to use our lands and waters for our own future and the future of our children, and the future of our nation," he said. Mr Albanese also announced $70 million for Indigenous clean energy projects, $31 million for a mobile TAFE program and $75 million for native title reform under the partnership. National Native Title Council chief executive Jamie Lowe said this funding showed the government was serious about supporting traditional owners. "Investing in the native title sector is game-changing," he said. "This injection of capacity will mean more jobs, more opportunities for young people and stronger protection for our cultural heritage." While some organisations met the prime minister's announcement with praise, Aunty Glendra Stubbs, the elder in residence at community legal centre Knowmore, expressed disappointment in a lack of any mention of truth-telling. The government backed away from its commitment to Makarrata in 2024 and though he acknowledged the work of the Victorian truth-telling inquiry Yoorrook, Mr Albanese made no mention of a national process in his address. Aunty Glendra said it hurt to see truth-telling missing from the conversation. "Our people have been asking for this for generations," she said. "Without truth, the pain of colonisation remains open - generation after generation. "We can't heal what we won't name." Victorian senator Lidia Thorpe said it was time for Mr Albanese to recommit to federal truth-telling and treaty. "Cash for the corporations and a few utes are crumbs on the table while so many of our people are dying in custody and governments continue to steal and jail our children at record rates," she said. Garma is marking its 25th festival and Mr Yunupingu acknowledged those who started it in 1999 - his brothers - and the festival's roots in promises of treaty, which were "washed down" by governments of the past but never forgotten. Mr Yunupingu said he felt the disappointment again at the result of the voice referendum in 2023. "We talked about it last year, we shed a tear to that and now it's behind us," he said, speaking about Mr Albanese's visit to Garma in 2024. "Even though we live with shattered dreams, we must keep looking to the future." 13YARN 13 92 76 Lifeline 13 11 14 While some welcome the prime minister's focus on economic empowerment of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, others brand it a further step from truth-telling. Anthony Albanese has used his address at the Garma Festival in northeast Arnhem Land to unveil an economic partnership with the Coalition of Peaks and First Nations Economic Empowerment Alliance. "This builds on our commitment to the Closing the Gap Agreement, to its call for a new way of doing business and to the principle of shared decision-making," he told the festival audience at Gulkula in the Northern Territory on Saturday. The approach will allow traditional owners to advocate for infrastructure, housing and energy projects on their land and build equity beyond the land itself. Coalition of Peaks lead convener Pat Turner said the partnership was about putting Indigenous communities in control of their economic future."Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have been clear for decades that our community-controlled organisations are the best employers of our people, providing the foundation for our economic development," she said. Addressing the crowd at Garma, Yolngu leader and chair of the Yothu Yindi Foundation Djawa Yunupingu said he wanted a real economy for his people. "We intend to use our lands and waters for our own future and the future of our children, and the future of our nation," he said. Mr Albanese also announced $70 million for Indigenous clean energy projects, $31 million for a mobile TAFE program and $75 million for native title reform under the partnership. National Native Title Council chief executive Jamie Lowe said this funding showed the government was serious about supporting traditional owners. "Investing in the native title sector is game-changing," he said. "This injection of capacity will mean more jobs, more opportunities for young people and stronger protection for our cultural heritage." While some organisations met the prime minister's announcement with praise, Aunty Glendra Stubbs, the elder in residence at community legal centre Knowmore, expressed disappointment in a lack of any mention of truth-telling. The government backed away from its commitment to Makarrata in 2024 and though he acknowledged the work of the Victorian truth-telling inquiry Yoorrook, Mr Albanese made no mention of a national process in his address. Aunty Glendra said it hurt to see truth-telling missing from the conversation. "Our people have been asking for this for generations," she said. "Without truth, the pain of colonisation remains open - generation after generation. "We can't heal what we won't name." Victorian senator Lidia Thorpe said it was time for Mr Albanese to recommit to federal truth-telling and treaty. "Cash for the corporations and a few utes are crumbs on the table while so many of our people are dying in custody and governments continue to steal and jail our children at record rates," she said. Garma is marking its 25th festival and Mr Yunupingu acknowledged those who started it in 1999 - his brothers - and the festival's roots in promises of treaty, which were "washed down" by governments of the past but never forgotten. Mr Yunupingu said he felt the disappointment again at the result of the voice referendum in 2023. "We talked about it last year, we shed a tear to that and now it's behind us," he said, speaking about Mr Albanese's visit to Garma in 2024. "Even though we live with shattered dreams, we must keep looking to the future." 13YARN 13 92 76 Lifeline 13 11 14 While some welcome the prime minister's focus on economic empowerment of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, others brand it a further step from truth-telling. Anthony Albanese has used his address at the Garma Festival in northeast Arnhem Land to unveil an economic partnership with the Coalition of Peaks and First Nations Economic Empowerment Alliance. "This builds on our commitment to the Closing the Gap Agreement, to its call for a new way of doing business and to the principle of shared decision-making," he told the festival audience at Gulkula in the Northern Territory on Saturday. The approach will allow traditional owners to advocate for infrastructure, housing and energy projects on their land and build equity beyond the land itself. Coalition of Peaks lead convener Pat Turner said the partnership was about putting Indigenous communities in control of their economic future."Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have been clear for decades that our community-controlled organisations are the best employers of our people, providing the foundation for our economic development," she said. Addressing the crowd at Garma, Yolngu leader and chair of the Yothu Yindi Foundation Djawa Yunupingu said he wanted a real economy for his people. "We intend to use our lands and waters for our own future and the future of our children, and the future of our nation," he said. Mr Albanese also announced $70 million for Indigenous clean energy projects, $31 million for a mobile TAFE program and $75 million for native title reform under the partnership. National Native Title Council chief executive Jamie Lowe said this funding showed the government was serious about supporting traditional owners. 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