Money Diary: A Compliance Officer On £85,000

Refinery29

19 hours ago

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last penny.
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This week: " I am a born and raised Londoner who lives in North London with my husband T and my toddler J (I am also currently pregnant). Our financial set-up is considered unusual in that I pay for the mortgage and most of the bills. My husband covers our grocery shop and most of our joint social activities come out of that pot and he also pays into J's Junior Stocks and Shares ISA. My outlook on finances completely changed when I got engaged to T and we started to save more actively (in the end we only spent circa £6k on our wedding and honeymoon). I was very much a 'treat yourself' kind of person and used to spend frivolously but I never got into debt and still managed to save some money. I now have a collection of designer bags and shoes that are collecting dust as quite frankly I have nowhere appropriate to wear these things! We rarely get weekly takeaways and tend to shop in places like Lidl so we can do more experiences and go on holidays even if it is a cheap package deal. We are extremely lucky that we get a lot of childcare help from my mother for free (she wouldn't dream of accepting any money) and we also made the decision for T to drop to part-time work so we didn't have to send J to nursery straight after my maternity leave."
Occupation: Compliance officer
Industry: Financial services
Age: 38
Location: London
Salary: £85,000
Paycheque Amount: £4,700
Number of housemates: Two
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £1,300
Loan payments: None.
Savings?: £20k in premium bonds (this will be used to partially fund my maternity leave), £20k S&S ISA (which I plan not to to cash out until I retire hopefully), £20k cash ISA — instead of overpaying my mortgage which currently has a low rate, I am keeping this aside to utilise the interest gained and then pay a chunk off the mortgage at my mortgage renewal next year.
Pension? 6% of my salary goes into my pension, my employer matches this.
Utilities: £100 gas, £100 electricity, £50 water, £25 broadband, £210 council tax.
All other monthly payments: £8 phone. Subscriptions: £40 Sky TV.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I went to university back when fees were low and I was fortunate enough that my parents paid for fees and housing and some spending money. Whilst I am extremely lucky to have had parental help, this is considered pretty normal in our culture if the family has the financial means.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents never really discussed money and all that I know about finances is through taking an interest on my own. Although my extended family owned a business, my parents were not paid a fair wage and would often send money overseas to their parents. Unknowingly to me, we actually were quite poor in my early childhood. I shared a bedroom with my parents until I was about four or five and we never went on holidays. Our only trip before things got financially better was to go to my grandfather's funeral in Asia. Things got a lot better when my father came into a substantial inheritance from an extended family member, which enabled us to move out of the flat above the family business into our own home.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
I moved out for university but would come home for the holidays. Post university, I lived on and off at home and rented with friends. Whilst I was living at home, I would pay rent to my parents, but it was less than what the market rate would be.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I would say this was when I purchased my first flat. My parents helped with the stamp duty but apart from that, I self-funded everything else. I eventually sold my flat and purchased the house I am currently living in.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was helping at the family business. I don't recall getting paid for this, it was just expected. However, my parents did give me pocket money and gave me money when I was going out with friends. My first paid job was working for a clothes store during university. Quite frankly, I hated it and only did it for some extra fun money and to get a taste of working somewhere that was not family-connected.
Do you worry about money now?
I do and I don't, I'm pretty good with money and actively look for deals, I hate paying full price for anything! However, we will have to start paying for nursery for J soon and I will be going on maternity leave for a whole year again. I get six months full pay, which is great, but again is very standard within the finance industry. I know if things got very bad, we could sell the house and move in with family until we got back on our feet.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I have not directly received any and do not envisage (fingers crossed) receiving any until I am very old. My parents had me at a very young age and I have told them to live their lives how they want and not to actively save for my future benefit. Again, it is a stereotypical mentality for I think Asian families from poor backgrounds to not want to spend and think of the financial well-being of their children rather than their own.
Day One
3 a.m. — Crying from J, followed by a cute little voice saying 'toys'. T goes to his room to see to him and eventually ushers him back to sleep.
5 a.m. — 'Books! Toys!' followed by a giggle. J is now awake for the day and there is no coaxing him back to sleep. T, obeys the lord of the manor and takes him downstairs for books and toys. I stay in bed and try to go back to sleep.
6:20 a.m. — I wake up and shower and start to get ready for work.
7:30 a.m. — I prepare a rather uninspiring breakfast of plain Greek yoghurt for J and a bowl of supermarket-branded fake crunchy nut cereal for myself.
8:15 a.m. — I kiss the boys goodbye and head off to work. T will be dropping J off at my parents for my mother's usual day with him.
9:05 a.m. — Get into work and crack on with seeing if there are any last-minute meetings or emails that require immediate attention.
9:45 a.m. — Make a decaf coffee from the work coffee machine, using almond milk makes it just about palatable.
12 p.m. — I break for lunch and get a Tesco meal deal. Chicken salad sandwich, mango and passionfruit yoghurt and a coconut water, £3.40. I eat this at my desk whilst reading articles online. I supplement my Tesco lunch with a bag of Monster Munch I have in my locker.
5 p.m. — I leave work and make the journey home.
6 p.m. — Arrive back and hear 'Mummy, Mummy' as I step through the door. Give the little one a kiss and then change out of my work clothes. The idea of dirty train clothes touching the sofa that J often squishes his face against, grosses me out.
6:10 p.m. — Supper time, I reheat the spaghetti bolognese T had made earlier for himself and J. I'm usually famished when I get home, so I like to eat before we put J to sleep.
6:50 p.m. — Start the bedtime routine for J and he is asleep by 7:30 p.m.
7:30 p.m. — Watch an episode of Mobland, I'm not quite convinced by Pierce Brosman and Helen Mirren in their roles, but it's an easy watch.
9 p.m. — Start getting ready for bed. This is the parent life, especially when you have a toddler who doesn't really like to sleep in.
9:45 p.m. — Lights out.
Day Two
4 a.m. — 'Books'…
6 a.m. — 'Toys'… T starts the usual morning routine of play and reading with the little lord.
7:30 a.m. — Same breakfast as yesterday for both J and me.
9:05 a.m. — TFL travel charge from yesterday is £9.20. Get into work and prepare my coffee before a series of Zoom calls. I eat my second breakfast of a blueberry cereal bar that I have stashed in my locker during the calls. Being pregnant, I often have two breakfasts each day. I seem to have a bottomless pit of hunger that can't be satisfied….
12 p.m. — Break for lunch, a Tesco meal deal is not going to cut it today, so I decide to treat myself to a pizza from Pizza Express, using an O2 priority perk, £8 including a small tip.
1 p.m. — Get back to work and it's a series of dealing with email queries, ongoing project work or having Zoom meetings.
5 p.m. — Leave work and watch a bit of Love is Blind on the train. Since having J, I am very strict with myself to leave at 5 p.m., so I can spend a tiny bit of time with J before his bedtime.
6 p.m. — Arrive home and play with J until we start his usual bedtime routine.
7:30 p.m. — Dinner of roast chicken and vegetables that T had made earlier. We chat whilst I eat about plans for the weekend and also start going through baby names. J was just called baby for a good month before we agreed on a name and I would like not to do this again!
9 p.m. — Start getting ready for bed. My skincare routine is pretty basic on weeknights. I double cleanse using Elemis cleansing balm and then CeraVe face wash followed by some sort of face cream.
9:45 p.m. — Bed and lights out.
Total £17.20
Day Three
5 a.m. — The little lord is shouting 'gup-up', his version of get up.
7:15 a.m. — I have fake Country Crisp granola and Greek yoghurt, J has a banana and plays around with the yoghurt he is given. I also make a quick chicken stir fry noodle using up leftover chicken from last night to take to work.
9:05 a.m. — TFL travel charge from yesterday is £9.20. Get into work and again see to emails but also chat to colleagues as I have a morning of no Zoom calls for once.
12 p.m. — Break for lunch and heat up my chicken noodles to have at my desk. I pop out afterwards to go to M&S to buy the usual low salt bread we give J, £0.75.
4:50 p.m. — Leave work a little early today and pick up a Tesco meal deal on the way to my school governors meeting, £3.40. I know I won't last until after the meeting to have my dinner, so I eat my meal deal in shame on the train.
6 p.m. — Arrive at the meeting and realise that they have supplied pizza tonight. I take a slice or two despite having just had my meal deal. I'm literally stretching the eating for two mentality as far as I can. Disappointingly, I found out during my first pregnancy that the whole eating for two is a myth and you only really need about 200 extra calories a day. That's basically two slices of bread or a packet of packet of crisps and a biscuit…
8 p.m. — Meeting has finished and I head home. I'm still pretty new to the world of being a school governor, but I am finding it extremely interesting and something a bit different to do away from my usual work.
8:15 p.m. — Get home and chat with T and he tells me about the shenanigans him and J got up to today.
9:45 p.m. — Lights out and bed.
Total: 13.35
Day Four
7 a.m. — TFL travel charge from yesterday is £9.20. It's WFH today, so I go downstairs and let T go and have a little nap until he drops J off at my parents' place later. As I am pregnant, T has taken to dealing with J's middle-of-the-night wake-ups and general early wake-ups so I can rest. So, on the days I WFH and the weekends, I try and let T have a morning nap.
8:45 a.m. — Say goodbye to J and T and take my breakfast of granola and Greek yogurt and a matcha latte to have at my desk whilst I log onto work.
12 p.m. — Break for lunch and prepare myself some udon noodle soup using an instant miso soup sachet, with some spinach and a fried egg. This is a typical wfh lunch for me as it's quick to make. I have my lunch at my desk whilst watching some YouTube videos and then get back to work.
3:45 p.m. — After having a productive day of doing hours of regulation mapping, I stop to do some quick dinner prep and chuck all the ingredients into the rice cooker.
4:30 p.m. — I hear J and T come in and they come upstairs to say hello.
5 p.m. — Log off from work and head downstairs and plate up a supper of steamed rice and chicken and peas. Rice cooker meals are a game changer for those too tired or lazy to cook! J's version is plain, whilst I add a quick sauce of soy sauce, honey and sesame oil to mine and T's.
6 p.m. — T heads off to play his weekly football with his friends. Whilst I spend the rest of the evening playing and reading with J.
7:30 p.m. — I take the opportunity whilst T is out to watch an episode of 911 and start an episode of Dr Odessey. I have to say Dr Odessy really is ultimate trash TV but I'm here for Joshua Jackson.
8:30 p.m. — T arrives home and jumps straight into the shower. It's always a bit of a Russian roulette whether J wakes up from this as his bedroom is next to the bathroom.
9:45 p.m. — Lights out and bed.
Total: £9.20
Day Five
8:45 a.m. — I wave T and J off as they head out for the day and put on a load of washing. I have the same breakfast as yesterday at my desk as I log into work.
10 a.m. — Take the washing out and put on another load. I don't feel guilty doing quick little chores like this during work hours as its not realistic to be working every single minute of the day. If I was in the office, people would be popping out to get coffee, chatting to colleagues etc.
12 p.m. — Break for lunch and today I have a fish finger sandwich and crisps. I decide as it's a nice day to take a little stroll around the park.
1:15 p.m. — Back to work and I do some prep work before I give a training session over Zoom. The training I am giving is to multiple locations and it seems to have gone well. I ask the attendees to email me any feedback they may have.
3:45 p.m. — Prep dinner by chucking all the ingredients into the rice cooker. Since having J and being pregnant, I just do not have the energy to cook anything elaborate. As T does all the meals on my in-office days, I try to do the meals when I am wfh and we tend to split the cooking duties during the weekend.
5 p.m. — I log off work and the boys are home shortly after. I plate up our suppers and tonight we are having steamed rice, salmon and peas and some salad. Again, J has his plain minus the salad and I make the same sauce as yesterday to drizzle on mine and T's.
7:20 p.m. — We start and watch the movie Twisters. In theory, we should be able to get through the whole film, but T has an annoying habit of always pausing here and there to get a drink, snack etc.
9:45 p.m. — Same as usual, lights out and bedtime.
Day Six
9 a.m. — We all head out into central London to meet some friends and their toddler who is the same age as J at the Natural History Museum. As I suspect, J is scared of the animatronic dinosaurs.
11:30 a.m. — We leave the museum and walk around Hyde Park to try and get the kiddos to fall asleep for their naps. In the meantime, we get a coffee each and a cake to share from the overpriced park café, £12.20.
1:30 p.m. — Arrive at the Italian restaurant near the museum that I booked for the group. We let J stay asleep until the food arrives. Starter of garlic bread and cheese for the adults. For mains, I have a seafood spaghetti, T has carbonara and J has spaghetti bolognese. Our share comes to £54 including service (this amount comes out of the grocery shop pot that T funds, same with the coffee).
3 p.m. — Decide to head back to Hyde Park en route home and let the kids have a run around. The weather is gorgeous today and it feels like summer.
5:30 p.m. — We arrive home and I make a quick supper (if you can call it that) of peanut butter on toast and sliced apple for J. I feel a bit guilty when I serve toast for supper but anything else would take too long.
7:30 p.m. — With J asleep, we continue and finish Twisters whilst we eat a supermarket Hawaiian pizza we had in the fridge. T complains how awful the movie was, but I really was not expecting much. It's an easy watch and is exactly what I expect from a blockbuster type of movie.
Day Seven
10 a.m. — TFL charge for yesterday £6.80. We head out and go to my parents' to spend part of the day. My parents have been in Asia for the last month and it's the first opportunity for me to catch up with them.
11:30 a.m. — We settle down to an early feast of a lunch, comprising of salt and pepper squid, Singapore noodles, steamed fish with ginger and spring onion, stir fried choi sum, steamed prawns with a chili soy sauce and steamed rice. These are some of my favourite dishes that my mother makes, and I have to say, I have yet to have a Singapore fried noodles that is better than the one my mother makes. J has his own special bowl of chicken congee.
12:54 p.m. — T takes J out in the pram around the local park to get J to nap. We have gotten into a habit where he doesn't really nap in a cot anymore. I am dreading the thought that we will have to take chilly winter walks to get him to sleep but maybe him going to nursery soon will solve this problem…
5 p.m. — We head home and take leftovers with us, my mother has the tendency to cook for double the amount of people she needs to feed.
9:45 p.m. — Lights out and bed.
The Breakdown
Conclusion
"Although this is a very low spend for a week, my monthly expenses, e.g. rent bills etc, are quite high. For the time being, this would be a typical spending week, 2-3 weeks of the month. On a week where I socialise on my own, need to buy toiletries/clothes etc, then it would be up to £100ish more. Since I have been back to work, I do not tend to go out with friends during the working week, as I won't get much time to spend with J otherwise. Before J hit 18 months, T and I would have more frequent date nights. However, as J seems to be going through a long phase of not sleeping well, we are both too tired to want to do anything in the evenings, which is disappointing, but I see it as just a phase (hopefully!)".