Cross-border couples face uncertain futures

Express Tribune

27-04-2025

Considering the history of bilateral tensions, for most people on both sides of the Indo-Pak border, the worsening of ties stirs two nonchalant reactions — curiosity or amusement.
However, for a small segment of the population — those caught in cross-border marriages — the closing of the border mean bidding an emotional farewell to their loved ones across the divide.
Recently, in the aftermath of a terrorist attack targeting tourists in Indian Illegally Occupied Jammu and Kashmir (IIOJK), the Indian government announced a series of drastic retaliatory measures against Pakistan, including the closure of the border and the unilateral suspension of the Indus Water Treaty.
While India's impulsive decision to shut the border and cut off the water supply was met with sarcasm and humour by social media users in Pakistan, the true burden of worsening bilateral ties is borne single-handedly by thousands of couples in cross-border marriages.
Afshan Saif, who lives in India's capital, New Delhi, is originally from Karachi, Pakistan. After her marriage she moved to her husband's home in India. "My maternal grandfather is seriously ill and hospitalized. I was supposed to travel to Karachi with my family in May to visit him, however, this will not be possible in light of the recent happenings," lamented Afshan.
Similarly, Naseeb Akhtar Bilal, who was married into a family in Karachi, hailed from New Delhi, India. Due to the recent tensions between the two rivals, her hopes of visiting her parents and siblings in India next month seem to be fading. "Now, I can only talk to my family via video calls. I have not met my siblings in years," shared Naseeb.
Mohammad Saif, a citizen of New Delhi, told The Express Tribune that he married a woman from Karachi. The true complexities of a cross-border marriage struck the couple during the Covid-19 pandemic, when his wife was visiting her parents in Karachi and the closure of the border prevented them from reuniting. "I know at least 30 couples who have cross-border marriages. Pakistani women who marry into India are granted a "No Objection Return to India" visa, but as soon as tensions escalate, they face many challenges," Saif explained.
According to Abdul Basit, former ambassador to India and an expert on diplomatic affairs, cross-border relationships are an underacknowledged reality of the subcontinent. "If we ignore the existence of such marriages, we will actually destroy a natural bridge of peace between the two nations. These couples also face complex legal issues concerning citizenship, the legal rights of their children, and property ownership. If the couple decides to part ways, the court proceedings become entangled in international jurisdiction," Basit elaborated.
Emphasizing the ostracization faced by couples in cross-border marriages, Professor Dr Shabnam Gul, Chairperson of the Department of International Relations at the Lahore College for Women University (LCWU), revealed that people who had family ties across the border were often viewed with suspicion, particularly regarding their loyalty to their home country.
"Such people are taunted for having ties with an 'enemy country'. In India, it has become a common practice to call such people 'Pakistani agents'. As a result, such couples face issues involving personal security, the safety of children and permanent residence. As diplomatic relations deteriorate, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to live in one country. The current situation has disastrous consequences not only at the state level but also socially since the retaliatory measures taken by both the countries have fueled hatred among the people," opined Dr Gul.
Dr Gul believed that the brewing of this hatred has isolated families connected across the border. "Sometimes their personal relationships are deeply affected since it becomes difficult to maintain love for one's own country and a negative perception of the spouse's country at the same time. In such situations, restoration of peace and reconciliation efforts become almost impossible because when distrust and hostility prevail in the atmosphere, the voices of peace are suppressed," explained Dr Gul.
In light of the prevailing bilateral tensions, diplomatic experts have suggested introducing a special "Family Visa Card" for cross-border families, allowing visa-on-arrival facilities for emergencies like the sickness of parents or a death in the family. They have also proposed establishing a special crossing point at the Wagah-Attari border, where families could meet under specific conditions.