Raising special kids require special care

New Indian Express

5 days ago

The month of April--considered as Autism Awareness Month--has drifted past us. During the month and beyond, numerous articles and posts zoom in on standing up for the needs and rights of children with special needs. That said, the challenges faced by the parents and caregivers of children with special needs are often overlooked.
Parenting, as such, is an emotional rollercoaster and inherently complex, but raising a child with special needs requires exceptional care, patience and empathy. This journey is profoundly long, emotional, and often overwhelming, requiring parents to address unique challenges while balancing societal expectations and personal well-being.
Parents of children with special needs face a broad-ranging role that extends beyond typical parenting. They must fight for their child's education, therapies, and inclusion while managing medical appointments, behavioral challenges, societal judgments, and stigma.
Thus, parents and caretakers of neurodivergent children are constantly juggling as a scheduler, a researcher, a nurturer, a learner, a supporter, a defender, and among various other roles.
This persistent and relentless responsibility can lead to emotional exhaustion, self-doubt, and feelings of isolation, as parents cope with both their child's needs and their own mental and physical health. Financial challenges from specialized care and the constant need to adapt to their child's evolving needs further intensify the strain.
Despite these demands, society rarely acknowledges the resilience, silent struggles endured, and sacrifices these parents make every day. They are expected to remain enduring, yet their struggles—such as coping with judgment, battling systemic barriers, or finding time for themselves—are rarely addressed. As the saying goes, 'You cannot pour from an empty cup,' and 'Help yourself before helping others.' For special parents to thrive and provide the best care for their child, they must prioritize their own well-being. To be the best parent you can be for your incredible kid, you've got to take care of yourself. Here are practical ways special parents can fill their cup to navigate this demanding journey:
1. Embrace Self-Compassion
Release self-blame or guilt feelings for your child's condition and practice unconditional self-love. Acknowledge your efforts and forgive yourself for perceived shortcomings. Self-care practices like journaling, therapy, or even a quiet moment of reflection can replenish your emotional strength.
2. Rediscover Joy Through Hobbies
Takeout time for activities that give you joy, such as reading, gardening, dancing, yoga, Zumba, trekking, or cooking a new recipe. Hobbies offer a mental escape, reduce stress, and reconnect you with your identity beyond caregiving, fostering a sense of personal fulfillment.
3. Find Peace in Spirituality
Meditation, prayer, or spiritual practices can provide emotional clarity and resilience. These tools lighten the weight of challenges, helping you navigate your journey with a purpose and less emotional baggage.
4. Build a Supportive Community
Connect with other parents of children with special needs through support groups, online forums, or local meetings. Sharing experiences, resources, and solutions builds a sense of belonging and reminds you that 'I am not alone.' These connections can also provide practical tips and emotional encouragement.
5. Empower Yourself with Knowledge
Educate yourself about your child's neurodivergence and specific needs. Learning skills to support your child at home, beyond relying on therapies or professionals, This helps build confidence and strengthens your bond with the child. Knowledge equips you to advocate effectively and make informed decisions for your child's care.
6. Keep Living Fully
Don't stop living your life. Continue to socialize, travel, dine out, watch movies, or enjoy adventures like scuba diving, visiting exhibitions, or playing at a games zone. It's about sustaining your happiness. Focusing solely on therapies without balance can lead to feelings of deprivation, frustration, anger, and sacrifice. So, create and seize the available opportunities and build up memories to cherish.
7. Prioritize Physical Health
Your health is crucial for the long-term care of your child. Commit to regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate rest to maintain physical and mental strength. A healthy body supports a resilient mind, equipping you to handle caregiving demands.
8. Set Boundaries and Ask for Help
Protect your energy by setting boundaries with family, friends, or even professionals. Don't hesitate to delegate tasks or seek help from trusted loved ones, respite care, or community resources. Accepting support allows you to recharge and focus on both yourself and your child.
9. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Incorporate mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or guided imagery, to stay grounded during stressful moments. Keeping a gratitude journal to reflect on small victories or joyful moments—whether related to your child or personal life—can shift your perspective and boost emotional resilience.
10. Celebrate Your Resilience
Acknowledge your strength and the progress you've made as a parent. Celebrate small wins, such as simply getting through a tough day. Recognizing your growth strengthens your ability to thrive in this unique journey.
11. Express Yourself Creatively
Engage in creative outlets like painting, writing, music, or crafting to process emotions and find joy. Creative expression can be therapeutic, offering a way to release stress and explore your inner world, even in short bursts of time.
12. Plan for Financial Well-Being
The financial strain of special needs care can be overwhelming. Take small steps to manage stress by creating a budget, exploring grants, or assistance programs. Feeling more in control of finances can reduce anxiety and improve mental health.
13. Seek Professional Support When Needed
Don't hesitate to consult a therapist, counselor, or coach who specializes in supporting parents of children with special needs. Professional guidance can help you navigate emotional challenges, develop coping strategies, and build resilience tailored to your unique journey.
14. Manage Time Effectively
The demands of special needs parenting can make time feel scarce. Implement time management strategies, such as prioritizing tasks, using a planner, or scheduling brief periods for self-care.
15. Nurture Your Personal Identity
Beyond your role as a parent, reconnect with your individual passions and interests. Engage in activities like taking a course, joining a club, or reflecting on personal goals to maintain a sense of self. Cultivating your identity outside of caregiving fosters balance and fulfillment.
16. Add Humor to Life
Incorporate humor into your routine to alleviate stress and enhance emotional well-being. Watch a comedy, share lighthearted moments with friends, or find humor in daily challenges. Laughter can serve as a powerful tool to lift your spirits and build resilience. By embracing these strategies, special parents can nurture their own well-being while providing exceptional care for their child. Enjoying life, maintaining physical and mental health, and finding joy in small moments create a foundation for a fulfilling and contented life. To be the best parent you can be for your incredible kid, you've got to take care of yourself. Ultimately, caring for yourself is not separate from caring for your child—it's an integral part of giving them the love and support they need to thrive.
(Pooja Mittal, Co-Founder and COO of Divit Health, brings a diverse background with a Master's in Mathematics, MCA, a Clinical Psychologist and a Special Educator. She is also a parent of Special Child.)