I'm a 42-Year-Old Mom and I Tried 18 Products to Finally Sleep Better. These Are the Ones That Worked
Remember when falling asleep was easy? Even well into my 30s, I could simply close my eyes, take a few deep breaths and gently drift off to dreamland. These days, it takes a carefully curated wind-down routine, an army of sleep aids and the mental zen of a shaman for me to fall and stay asleep.
Some nights it's because of the rap-tap-tap of my 4-year-old complaining of a bad dream, or the intermittent cries of my 1-year-old. Other times, it's my laundry list of deadlines or to-dos. Or maybe it's existential dread? Perimenopause? Whatever it is, I'm not alone: A 2022 report from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that about one in seven adults had trouble at night for most or all of the previous 30 days.
I exercise almost daily, even if it's just an outdoor walk. I eat lots of nourishing, vitamin-rich foods, and drink very little alcohol. These things can set a person up for a successful night of zzzs. But I'm still tossing and turning. If I wanted to go all-in on optimizing sleep, I needed to go further. Like any good writer, I've been investigating.
Knowing that good sleep can't be fixed with one magic solution, I've been incorporating some holistic tactics, hoping they'll culminate in one big cure. From air purifiers to red light therapy, THC gummies to binaural beats, here are the options I've tried to (finally) successfully snag a full night's sleep.
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For the home
Ever since we lived in Los Angeles, we have become diligent users of air purifiers. We live in North Carolina now and keep up the habit. Researchers at the University of Louisville found that air pollution, a warm bedroom and high levels of carbon dioxide can disrupt our sleep.
I started my quest to better sleep by upgrading our bedroom air purifier. The one we'd been using was archaic and had begun making an unpleasant sputtering sound. So I tried the Sans Air Purifier, which is not only whisper quiet but also smarter: It uses medical-grade filtration to capture 99.9% of particles 0.1 micron in diameter, activated carbon to absorb chemicals, odors and gases, and internal UV-C light for protection against pathogens. Maybe this is strange to say about an air purifier, but it also just looks really nice.
To run diagnostics to see if it improved our air quality, I started using the Airthings Wave Enhance monitor to track air quality, carbon dioxide levels, VOCs, humidity, temperature and light pollution. The Airthings app gives me real-time updates on air quality, pressure, temperature and more, and remembers past stats for up to a year. This way, I know for sure that I'm falling asleep in an optimal environment.
For the body
Though I live a pretty healthy lifestyle, I'm also big on supplements. Each morning, I take a Seed DS-01 Daily Synbiotic for gut health, and almost immediately, I noticed positive changes. I had less bloat, more regular you-know and overall greater digestion comfort. It's part of my non-negotiable health arsenal now.
I often take a collagen supplement and have tried everything from Spoiled Child liquid collagen to Vital Proteins Grass-Fed Collagen. I find that regular use not only makes my skin and hair look healthier but also helps ease joint pain, which allows the old body to relax come nighttime.
Even though I'm only 42, sometimes my body feels ancient (it's exhausting to carry a 22-pound baby on your hip all the time). I've started using Heali Magnesium + Menthol Tape to ease muscle and joint pain, specifically on my elbows and wrists, and reader, you'd be as shocked as I was to know that it actually works. At the first sign of joint pain, I apply tape for the day and by nighttime, my pain is drastically diminished.
I'm also a big fan of red light therapy, which has been gaining attention for a while now, and I'm all in on at-home devices like my red light face mask as part of my skin care routine. Red light therapy has been known to help improve skin radiance and tone and diminish the look of fine lines, but its effects may be more than skin deep.
Now, I'm using the Clearlight Personal Red Light Tower, which uses both red light (650nm) and near-infrared light (850nm). Near-infrared light may aid in the release of melatonin, support mental health and stimulate cells to produce more collagen, thus assisting in muscle recovery and repair. I use it in the mornings on my body while I do my skin care routine.
For the mind
Years ago, I swapped my nightly glass of wine for herbal tea, adding a few drops of Elix's Yin Time tincture each night. Yin Time uses a 2,000-year-old Chinese formula that includes ginger, hibiscus flower, reishi, jujube seed and more to calm the mind and help promote restful sleep. I like ElixElix because it uses traditional Chinese herbal medicine to holistically support the body and mind, which is an easy way to give my nightly beverage a healing boost. I like that its formulas are free of alcohol, preservatives and fillers. I find adding just a few droppers of this each night helps me relax.
One of my other secrets to sleepy success is a low-dose THC gummy. For me, 2 to 2.5mg of THC (Delta 9 is what's legal here in North Carolina) is the sweet spot to gently usher me from totally overwhelmed to totally chill within the hour. My current favorites are Rose Delights Deep Sleep gummies, which are very subtle. However, I also like Camino Recover gummies, as well as Sleep. When I am in need of a deep sleep, I turn to Urmawm Ursleep gummies, which include CBD, THC Delta 9, Melatonin and L-Theanine, all ingredients that induce a laid-back state. They give me the nudge I need to relax without the psychoactive effects.
Understandably, some people can't tolerate or don't want to opt into THC-based sleep aids. My other go-to gummies are the Plexus Worldwide SLEEP gummies. They're made with melatonin and ashwagandha, both common sleep aids, as they can help support healthy sleep patterns and promote balance and overall well-being. These gummies also include lemon balm, which can be calming, and GABA, a naturally occurring amino acid known to support relaxation.
Finally, time for bed
When it comes to actually slipping beneath the sheets, I have amassed more accoutrements than a museum. Have you ever heard of binaural beats? I had not, but came across them in my research for a peaceful night's sleep. Binaural beats are the phenomenon that happens when we hear two sounds and our brain perceives a third. Research has shown that, depending on the frequency, binaural beats can help alleviate depression and anxiety and aid in sleep.
What's unique about SleepVibeSleepVibe is that its device is inaudible and uses very low power. You simply plug it in and place it beneath or near your pillow, and it creates a low-frequency field (less than 200Hz). This delivers binaural beats, which support the brain's natural sleep patterns to help lead you into a restful sleep. Since using it, I've found that I've been drifting to sleep more easily and staying asleep longer.
I've also been experimenting with the Soaak app, which uses scientifically backed, clinically proven frequencies to address myriad issues, sleep being just one of them. Soaak offers a curated library of sound frequency compositions to improve hormonal health, reduce depression and anxiety, boost energy and more. I find it especially useful for travel, since it allows you to plug into a frequency anytime and anywhere.
I also tried a Chilipad, which is like a mixture of a mattress pad and a heating (or cooling) blanket. This is a fantastic item for temperature-sensitive sleepers, but it comes with a caveat: The Chilipad can be overwhelming. It comes with a multitude of instructions that I won't bore you with (there's a doc, a need for distilled water, a separate cleansing solution, a drain key, tubing and so on).
For a busy mom who can barely make time to prepare a simple dinner most days, it felt like way too much setup and maintenance. But once it was set up, it was absolutely fabulous. Feeling cold? Roll over and bump up the temperature a few degrees. Sweaty? Drop the temp down a few degrees and drift back to sleep in the cool oasis of your bed. If you're not put off by the initial setup and monthly care, then a Chilipad is a dream come true for the temperature queens among us.
I also started using the Loftie Alarm Clock, an ultra-sleek clock with a soothing, two-phase alarm that helps ease you out of sleep. It has customizable alarm tones, plus volume and day-of-the-week settings. Still, my favorite feature is its variety of soundscapes, including brown, white, pink, gray and green noise, as well as interesting options like "wooden stovetop" (crackling!). I like that it doesn't rely on Wi-Fi, so I never have to worry about an outage. Note that you'll need a Loftie Plus membership to access certain wellness content like breathwork, guided meditation and sound baths, but I find the variety of soundscapes, sophisticated design and customizable clock features is worth the Loftie.
Just after I turn out the lights, I turn on my Helight Sleep device (more red light therapy!), which uses a 28-minute patented protocol at bedtime in which it emits pure red light at a wavelength of 630 nanometers for the first half of the routine, then gradually fades out. It works by passing red light through the eyelids to activate photosensitive cells, which trigger a biological response that aids in relaxation. This sounded crazy to me, but I have found it extremely effective before bed. (So effective that I never see the device switch off at 28 minutes; I'm already asleep.) I also love that it's small enough for travel, which is when I find I'm especially in need of help sleeping.
A sleep mask may seem like a no-brainer solution, but if you knew how many masks I'd cycled through in the last five years, you'd understand the importance of this one (and also know that I am a fickle sleeper). My past sleep masks never fit quite right, couldn't be adequately adjusted or didn't block enough light -- the list goes on. The Dore and Rose deep sleep mask has an adjustable strap, offers complete coverage and is both ultra soft and easy to wear. It's the comfiest, coziest sleep mask I've tried to date.
Little changes can make a big difference
The last five years of my life have involved two pregnancies and postpartum periods, two cross-country moves (and one local) and enough work ups and downs to make an acrobat dizzy. The stress, I realize now, was affecting my sleep. I needed to adapt because I'm not the same person I was five or 10 years ago. I shouldn't expect to fall asleep the same way, either.
By experimenting with all these adjustments, I'm having longer stretches without waking, dozing off without a million racing thoughts and (usually) waking feeling rested. Is it the placebo effect? That I assume I'll fall asleep more easily, and therefore do? I'll never know. With all these changes, putting a finger on one solution is impossible.
Chances are, there's no one thing that's going to solve your sleep woes (unless you're Victoria Ratliff at The White Lotus and rely solely on Lorazepam). But with the right combination of movement and a mindful lifestyle -- and a little help from a gummy (or a red light therapy device inspired by NASA's findings on light wavelengths, whatever) -- you could be heading to Z Town in no time.
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