Bells Larsen tells us what it was like being forced to cancel his U.S. tour
Larsen has had to skip six tour dates in support of his forthcoming sophomore album, Blurring Time, which speaks directly to his experience transitioning, and even includes harmonies between his pre- and post-transition voice.
Today on Commotion, Larsen joins host Elamin Abdelmahmoud to explain the series of events that led to him cancelling his U.S. dates, how he's feeling now, and why sharing his story publicly has ultimately proven to be a bittersweet experience.
We've included some highlights below, edited for length and clarity. For the full discussion, listen and follow Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud on your favourite podcast player.
WATCH | Today's episode on YouTube:
Elamin: You spend all this time planning your tour, writing your tour, and then suddenly you get a message that tells you, "I don't think you can apply for a visa right now." So when did you learn about your tour plans and how they could be in jeopardy?
Bells: I think it has been a slow unraveling, if I'm being totally honest with you. In some ways I've had a tummy ache since November. My agent and my label and my publicist, they're all very kind people and have been really in my corner, and there for me with regards to me expressing my anxieties about how things could play out. It's very strange to start an album rollout a week after Jan. 20. The album that I am putting out details my transition in a very raw way. So, I've had my own thoughts and feelings about what could happen, but I would say that I really started to ask myself whether this was something that I wanted to go through with, or even could go through with, on March 29 when myself and everyone else who was part of the AFM received an email essentially stating that because U.S. Immigration Services no longer recognizes "X" gender markers, they are only able to process visa applications with an M or an F.
And March 29 is a Saturday. If you're getting an email on Saturday — you know, I'm a guy who likes to respect business hours, you understand? So, if you're getting an email on a Saturday, probably not a good sign. So that was when I actually followed up with the AFM, and just wanted to check in that my situation — because my gender marker is "M" on my passport — that even though I don't have an X, I still wanted to make sure I was fine…. And then a week later, they followed up with me on the email thread that I had initiated to say, "Hey, we said you're good with what your situation is, but actually there was a policy that was released on April 2. So you are in fact, no longer able to."
Elamin: Bells, I'm conscious of the idea that you figure out that you have to scrap these tour plans, but you still have an album to roll out. Were you immediately compelled to say, "I'm going to go public with the reason behind the cancellation"? Because in doing so, it completely changes the narrative around you, around the record, and maybe you were in a place where you're like, "I just want to talk about the music. I don't necessarily want to be talking about all of this." But this does add a different narrative dimension to the conversation. Tell me about the decision to figure out how to play that publicly.
Bells: Totally. My intention was not at all that the post I made would have the reach that it did. I was hoping that a couple of musician pals would share it, and maybe comment on it. I love the CBC, and so I was hoping that maybe the CBC would pick it up. So obviously I'm happy to be chatting with you. But musicians have to make posts like that all the time, be it because of COVID and they're canceling a show, or because they're burnt out. In my case, it happened to be because … of this new barbaric policy. So to be totally transparent with you, I actually had already begun to write a statement in the case that I would have to cancel my tour because I no longer felt comfortable. The Word doc was already open. The words were already being typed out a week before I actually posted it. The only difference is that, because of the email I received on April 8 from the AFM stating that I could not apply for a visa, I had a couple of days to switch the wording from, "I don't want to tour anymore," to "I cannot tour anymore."
A large portion of my listenership is in the States. There were some shows where the tickets had already really begun to start flying. So I felt like I had a bit of an obligation to let people know, in as clear and concise and public a way as possible. But of course, there's for sure a fear that the music will get lost in the sauce, and that I will be a mouthpiece for the harm that is being caused on my community first, and then the music will be sort of a supplementary element, which is again, not at all my intention…. But as I said, the music and I are one and the same. They're inextricable. I don't think I anticipated the degree to which simply being a marginalized person would be a political act in and of itself. But I welcome it.
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