Kiera Dignam: Singing helps me deal with the grief of losing Dad

Extra.ie​

16-05-2025

Sometimes, out of the blue, Kiera Dignam will hear her father's voice suddenly coming from a radio, a post on Facebook or a TV screen, and the pain of hearing him is almost too much to bear.
In just a few weeks, it will be the second anniversary of Christy Dignam's death and though for some, it would be a great comfort to hear the voice of a loved one who has died, for Kiera it brings back a wave of grief that is still too painful to cope with.
'I am very lucky that I have so much of him, whether it's music or interviews or television performances that I can access,' says the Dubliner. 'But at the moment I find it quite difficult. My mam and my husband and oldest son find it almost therapeutic and enjoy listening to him, but for me once I hear his voice I have to turn it off straight away. Kiera Dignam. Pic: Fran Veale
'Maybe in six months, or five years or at some point I could find it comforting.'
It's understandable too, given that losing Christy is still so raw. Next month it will be the second anniversary of his death and on May 29, Kiera and her family are putting on another concert in his memory. Remembering Christy Dignam will feature special guests including Tom Dunne, Brian McFadden, Mundy, Steve Wall and The Four of Us to name but a few.
It's the second concert of its type – the first was meant to be a one-off but was such a warm-hearted celebration of Christy's life that Kiera and her family have been persuaded to fo it again. Christy Dignam of Aslan. Pic: Getty Images
'The more we talked about it, the more we thought maybe it could be therapeutic,' Kiera says of the first gig. 'It was emotional but it was an incredible night.
'Anyone who was there, online fans and so on were commenting and sending messages saying they hoped it would be an annual thing. I said no, as to my mind it was a once-off.'
But this year they have decided to do one more, persuaded by Christy's fans and also the idea that these gigs are a way of keeping his memory alive.
Christy Dignam with his daughter Kieran on her wedding day in 2013. Pic: Collins Dublin
'We have some amazing acts on board and it is the same idea,' Kiera says. 'It won't just be Aslan songs, there will be solo Christy Dignam songs, Dignam & Goff songs, songs that my dad loved like Gilbert O'Sullivan and David Bowie, covers he would have been known to sing like The Green Fields Of France, Waltzing Matilda, traditional songs he loved to sing and songs that make us think of him.'
They aren't a big organisation, it's just the family, Mark, Kiera's manager and the team at Vicar Street, but anyone who has been asked to sing has said yes, unless they are away on tour.
Of course Kiera, who is a singer herself, will pay her own tribute to her dad. Christy Dignam of Aslan. Pic: Ilpo Musto/Shutterstock
'Anyone we have asked has been amazing about it,' Kiera says. 'They are really excited and want to come and remember him with us.'
There is, of course, one name missing – Aslan themselves, who are still performing with a new singer, Lee Tomkins, and who were also absent from the first celebration of Christy's life.
The last time Kiera said there were reasons for this that she wouldn't go into and pointed out her father had not spoken to the band for seven months before he died. Kiera Dignam. Pic: Fran Veale
But she refused to go into the details and said the band had every right to continue as Aslan, and the songs were as much theirs as they were her father's.
'No, we don't speak,' she says when I ask if she talks to the rest of the band. 'I have no need to now. My dad is gone and that's water under the bridge for me,' is all she will say on the matter.
But she was viciously attacked by online trolls when it first came to light that the band were not included in the initial celebration of Christy's life and being forced to grieve in the public eye has been difficult for the mother-of-three. 'I can't explain how difficult it is,' Kiera says, with an honesty and clarity that most would shy away from.
'When you're in the public eye people have their minds made up and there is a perception of you. It happens a lot and when I am doing stuff like this concert, it can be misconstrued. Christy Dignam Pic: Gareth Chaney Collins
'We literally want to have a celebration. This was my dad. We just want to keep him alive and celebrate him and remember him in a positive way that he would want because music was his life and music is my life.
'The nastiness in some people – it has literally been said to me by trolls online that I am milking his death, which is a horrible thing to say, it is a horrible thing to hear and it's absolutely not the case.
'That aspect of being in the public eye and almost having to defend why you are trying to do a nice thing is hard. Even grieving publicly is very difficult because everyone feels they own a little bit of him. Sometimes you want to shout, 'He was my dad'. I understand his fans do miss him and they grieve him and it is genuine. But he was my dad and it is very hard to grieve that loss anyway but to do it in public is tough.'
Kiera does her best to ignore the trolls but admitted that last year she was vulnerable.
'I was trying to protect the kids too because my kids are old enough to read newspapers online and see horrible, untrue things being said about their mother,' she says. 'I did get to a point where I got into a very dark place and that was somewhere I had never been before. But I had never grieved before and I was very vulnerable anyway.'
She knows being in the music business demands a thick skin and tries her best to ignore any of the horrible comments. Christy Dignam. Pic: Sam Boal/RollingNews.ie
' You shouldn't have to say, 'people are going to be nasty and you have to grin and bear it', but unfortunately that's the way it is. It's not fair but I am aware of it so I do try as best I can to take it that strangers' opinions of me are none of my business. I can't read into that and I choose not to read the comments because 99 per cent of them are lovely and supportive and it is brilliant to have that. But then you get the one per cent that are negative and those can get on top of you.'
Kiera was 36 when Christy died after a long period of illness – he had amyloidosis, a type of cancer. It is well documented that the man with the powerful voice behind hits like This Is and Crazy World had battled his own demons after becoming addicted to heroin following childhood sexual abuse. Finally clean of heroin, Christy got his cancer diagnosis which he bore bravely before it all became too much. Christy Dignam in 1988. Pic: Independent News'Nothing prepares you for that,' Kiera says. 'You feel, why was there another battle given to him? Why was he taken so young? I was 36 and my dad was gone. All of these things come up. It's rough. Now we are heading into the third year without him, I am finding it more difficult.
'There is a certain numbness because when you get to the second year you don't have that, 'this time last year we were in the hospital' or 'he came home'. I know they are negative things because he was sick but you still cling on to them.
'Now I don't have anything at all. Now I say, 'this time last year he wasn't here'. It's a strange feeling and a kind of a panic you have because he is getting further away from you. Christy Dignam performing in 2003. Pic: RollingNews.ie
'Anyone who is grieving will be able to relate to that.'
Kiera was told about her dad's issues with addiction when she hit her teens as her father insisted that nothing was kept as a 'dirty secret.'
'I was going into secondary school and because I was old enough to understand newspapers, he wanted me to be aware of it,' she says.
Christy sat her down and explained everything to her so that she knew before anyone said it to her. Christy Dignam. Pic: Sam Boal/RollingNews.ie
'He always wanted to explain why and how he went in that direction,' she says. 'He and my mam were always very honest about those things. It was a case of, 'This is the way it is, have you any questions or would you like to talk about it? And if anything is said to you in school or by friends on the road come and talk to me and if you have any questions I am here for that.'
'I think that is all you can really do in a situation, it's the best way of dealing with it.'
Now, with three children of her own – Kian, 21, Ava, 17 and Jake, 11 – Kiera finds her father's tragic past all the more upsetting, given that it happened in an era where these things weren't spoken of and the supports were not there for him. Christy Dignam getting music lessons off Frank Merriman at the Parnell School of Music in 1989. Pic: Independent NewsChristy was a doting grandfather to Kiera's kids and he and her mam Kathryn supported her when she fell pregnant at 17. 'I was petrified,' she says of telling her parents. 'I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I did know that I was going to do my very best for him. It wasn't what I had planned. I had planned to go to college the following September and Kian was due in the October, so I never got to go.
'But at that stage I was already singing, and I was lucky enough that I had good supports around. Me and Darren, my husband, have been together since we were 16 and when I got my confidence back up, I was able to go back into music.' Christy Dignam of Aslan performs on stage at Shepherds Bush Empire in London. Pic: C Brandon/Redferns via Getty Images
This is one of the reasons that Kiera won't be bullied into giving up the career she loves.
'When you get a bit of aggro off people you can think, is it worth having to put up with this just because I love to sing? Why should I have to be bullied just because I want to sing?' she says, pointing out that people who follow their parents into other careers don't get the same level of abuse.
'I have never known any different, I have never wanted to do anything else.
'Singing is hands down the one thing that has help me get this far through my grief.
'I am writing and putting any negative thoughts down, when I am upset and need to vent in some way, I am writing and some of the music I am producing because of it is free therapy for me. Music and singing has always been my go-to and I can't see it ever being any different.
'It is just a language for me and I don't know any different.'
Though Christy's loss is great, the gig in Vicar Street this year will be a way to remember him and cherish him for the Dignams and his fans. Christy Dignam with Billy McGuinness in 2018. Pic: Gareth Chaney/Collins Photos
'When you lose someone, regardless of who that person is or what that person was in life, all you want is to remember them and keep their memory alive,' says Kiera.
'We just happen to be in a lucky position that other people outside our family circle want to do the same, whether that be fans or other people in music who are willing to come along and pay their respect to him and talk about the memories they would have with him over the years.
'It is a lovely thing to be able to do and it is a privilege to be able to do that and just stand on a stage that I stood on with him numerous times and be able to celebrate him and keep his memory alive a little bit longer for us and for everyone in the crowd.'
Remebering Christy Dignam is at Vicar Street on May 29, tickets, priced €44, are available from ticketmaster.ie