The proof that Kate's the perfect British princess that Meghan could never be

Telegraph

2 days ago

Anyone out there nursing fond memories of Barbenheimer? That was the inspired portmanteau for the cultural phenomenon of 2023, when cinemagoers gained kudos for watching bubblegum movie Barbie the selfsame day as the nuclear weapons endurance test that is Oppenheimer.
I didn't manage it for sound medical reasons; namely I would have run the very real risk of Revels poisoning. But all credit to those who were rewarded with a thought-provoking examination of a brilliant yet conflicted character and also got to see Cillian Murphy in Oppenheimer.
I thought of that highly entertaining mismatch when both the Duchess of Sussex and the Princess of Wales released blockbusting sequels on the very same day this week.
What were the chances? Quite high I suppose, given neither of them are on speaking terms but still, what a moment to be alive!
Surely, the least I could do is have a quick squint at them both. So I did. And, Dear Readers, it was quite the rollercoaster, especially because Kate's ode to Mother Nature featured a beekeeper and everyone knows that Meghan bagsied all the bees. Awkward.
Earlier this year, in the first promo for her Netflix lifestyle show With Love, Meghan we saw the Duchess of Montecito, 44, stocking up on honey from someone else's garden (don't ask) with a view to flogging it at £5,000 (or whatever) for a royal – or at least royal-adjacent – jar.
So imagine my surprise that Kate's only gone and pointedly filmed loads of British bees collecting patriotic pollen in Britain. Uh-oh. I expect Harry's lawyers are already onto it. That man lives to litigate, bless his huffy heart.
He doesn't make an appearance in the new With Love trailer, although his missus cheekily blows the gaff on her bozo prince by confiding that he doesn't like eating lobster. Cue wild laughter. Such a shame the director cut the next scene of him tucking into a swan, but that's showbiz.
As a promo, Meghan's reel works well in an unapologetic does-what-it-says-on-the-tin sort of way. Yes, I feel quite sad she still can't seem to summon up any of those bewildered famous acquaintances she invited to her wedding to share in the joy of making cheesy crackers, but I have to hand it to her: self-advertising is her forte.
Kate's new offering, entitled Summer, on the other hand is far from obvious. In truth, it's so nuanced, it's (whisper it) initially hard to see the point, which is really rather lovely – that we should reach out to others and enjoy our beautiful landscape and coastline in the height of summer. 'It has never been more important to appreciate the value of one another, and of Mother Nature,' she writes at the end. 'Here's to Summer. C.'
It follows on from Spring, filmed on the Isle of Mull, in which she spoke of the way nature had provided a sanctuary during her cancer journey and how it nourishes, revives and renews the human spirit.
In recent times, the Princess of Wales has become the de facto ambassador of Britain's countryside and in many ways Summer is the perfect party (un) political broadcast for the Royal family, summing up the quiet yet essential values of continuity and community against a sylvan backdrop that may indeed heal the soul, but doesn't really exist anymore.
But she doesn't make an appearance, which frankly is a big mistake. Huge. I have the feeling that she didn't want to make it about her, which is admirable and indeed on brand.
Now, cards on the table, I could watch bees all day but I lost interest when it came to the picnicking families and little ballerinas in pale dresses and pumps skipping carefree in the grass. Maybe in Sandringham. Out here in broken Britain, they'd get dog muck on their shoes and a telling-off from the illegal immigrants who live in that tree.
This paean to cherishing 'the bonds of love and friendship' presents such a soft-focus view of Britain, I was expecting the sound of leather against willow. I can only assume old maids bicycling to Holy Communion through the mists of the autumn mornings will be in the follow-up. But next time can we have Kate gathering windfalls? Treading grapes? Driving a 16-ton combine harvester? Please?
Yes, a great deal of Kate's charisma derives from her instinctive ability to let those about her shine, whether they are charity bosses or little children. Facilitating connection and community is the unique power of the House of Windsor at its best. But we need an intervention by some venerable retainer who can kindly, authoritatively reassure her that her calm, collected presence could never be construed as showboating.
By comparison, Meghan is a natural performer who will always be – crave to be – the star. The camera loves her smile but allowing others to have their moment simply isn't in her skill set. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But it is a thing.
This latest foray into film provides further proof she would never have fitted in at The Firm, where team playing is the order of the day. Team playing and not saying nonsensical things like 'There are easy ways to show up, lovingly', while wasting fancy packaging on jammy biscuits so remedial a seven-year-old would roll their eyes.
Her late, great Majesty Elizabeth II once sagely observed 'we have to be seen to be believed', an adage that has seen many a working royal through tedious civic engagements or gruelling overseas tours.
As a working royal, this embodies Kate's role – subject, of course, to health considerations. She is, after all, our future Queen. Meghan has never enjoyed playing second fiddle, but if she wants to rehabilitate herself, she would do well to take her cue from the Princess of Wales, who unerringly shows that respect is earned, not through TV specials and triteness, but acts of service and thoughtful contributions to national life.