Creating A Home Where Learning Thrives

Forbes

20 hours ago

The Learning Household, a new book by Ken Bain and Marsha Marshall Bain, truly resonated with me because it affirms something I have always believed as a parent: the home should be a place where curiosity thrives and learning is part of everyday life. From the time my daughter was a small child, I tried to make sure she was always growing and not just in academic ways, but as a thinker, problem-solver, and most importantly, as a compassionate and emphathetic human being. This book captures this vision well.
Bain and Marshall Bain provide a warm, thoughtful exploration of how families can create spaces where questions are encouraged and ideas are debated in respectful ways. They also advocate that every member of the household should be both a teacher and a learner – that means parents and children. They demonstrate how the most meaningful education does not have to come from formal lessons in the classroom. Instead, it can take place at the dinner table, during family walks or visits to the park, and amid shared projects on the weekends.
As I read the book, I was reminded of the many times that my daughter asked me question after question about something she wanted to understand – a constant stream of 'why' questions. The first time this happened was when she realized that Barack Obama was the only president in our nation who was Black and that there had been no women presidents of any race. She wanted answers, and as a historian, I made sure to offer a short history lesson for her. This moment often comes to mind for me as my daughter is now 26 and is still asking the same types of questions.
One of the book's major themes – fostering intrinsic motivation – aligns perfectly with how I've tried to raise my daughter. Bain and Marshall Bain remind us that curiosity grows when children are given the freedom to explore what matters to them, without the pressure of constant evaluation. For me, so much learning comes from the process of doing things with my daughter and not necessarily the end product. Learning seems to work better when it feels like discovery rather than obligation.
The authors also emphasize learning together, which I think is essential to parenting. I have never wanted my daughter to see me as an all-knowing authority. Instead, we have learned side-by-side – whether that meant looking up ideas for a family vacation, getting out of a sticky situation, finding evidence for our political views, or most recently, taking a watercolor painting class together (she's really good and I need work). According to Bain and Marshall Bain, shared learning experiences between parents and children not only expand knowledge but also strengthen connections.
One of the aspects of The Learning Household that I liked the most is the honesty presented by Bain and Marshall Bain. The tone of the book is easy-going and not judgmental. They also invoke humor, which I enjoyed. The authors acknowledge the fact that family life can be messy. Every day, there are interruptions, tensions, and days when everyone needs space. However, they show how even those moments can become opportunities to practice resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills. These are skills that children can carry into adulthood and that we all need to improve.
The Learning Household is not a rigid parenting manual. Instead, it is a book dedicated to joy and discovery. For example, the authors offer the following ideas for challenging children to learn:
These are just some of the many, many ideas that the authors provide to readers.
For me, the book is affirming and inspiring. It reminded me why I worked hard to create a learning household for my daughter and gave me a lot of new ideas for building our relationship as she grows older. Although in many ways the book is for parents wanting to work with their children, and perhaps teachers who want to work with parents, for me, it also felt like a book for parents who might want to work on themselves.