Lessons On Leadership From Fatherhood

Forbes

a day ago

Dr. Ujjwal Ramtekkar is the Chief Medical Officer at LifeStance Health.
As a father and a C-suite executive, I've learned many of my most valuable leadership lessons from moments spent with my children. Parenting has shaped my leadership style just as much as my professional experiences have influenced how I show up as a 'pappa.' This Father's Day, I'm reflecting on a few lessons that apply equally at home and at work and how leading with trust, empathy and presence has helped me grow stronger as both a parent and leader.
My son taught me one of my most vivid lessons about trust as I was teaching him how to ride a bike. We started by removing the balancing wheels, me running alongside as he wobbled. Then came the most difficult part: letting go. I thought I needed to trust that he'd figure it out. But the moment he looked at me and said, 'Dad, I knew you'd be there when I fell,' I realized I had it backward. It was him who needed to trust me.
It's no secret that trust is important in both parenting and leadership, and maintaining it requires modeling consistency, honesty and self-awareness. Not every moment requires intervention, and just because you could intervene does not always mean you should. As with parenting, effective leadership often means knowing when to provide guidance and resources and when to step back. If we immediately fix problems for our teams or our children simply because we can, then we deny them the opportunity to develop their own agency or problem-solving skills. Growth happens when we allow people to make mistakes, adjust and succeed on their own terms, with the trust and knowledge that someone has their back. Of course, stepping in is sometimes necessary, especially depending on one's life or career stage. But the goal should be to create a fair, fail-safe environment where mistakes become growth opportunities and not setbacks.
Effective leadership extends beyond the workplace to include how we lead our personal lives. One thing I've adopted is a mindset shift from 'work-life' balance to 'life-work' balance. What this looks like in practice is making time every day for what matters to you personally and treating it as non-negotiable. Family dinner. Therapy. Exercise. Reading. The things that fulfill you deserve to be a part of your daily life. When you prioritize your health, family and the things that recharge you, it sets the tone of respect—first for yourself and then for your teams. A 2024 advisory from the Office of the Surgeon General on the mental health and well-being of parents noted that many parents and caregivers feel undervalued when they make tradeoffs to prioritize family. Dr. Vivek Murthy, former U.S. surgeon general, called for a shift in cultural norms to help them thrive. As leaders, I believe we have a responsibility to normalize life-work balance for our teams and help this shift become a reality.
As a child psychiatrist, I've seen how the presence and modeling of a father or father figure supports positive emotional and behavioral outcomes for children. As an adult psychiatrist, one of the most common regrets I've heard from 'successful' fathers is not being there for their children when it counted most. Presence matters. Being skilled at multitasking is often worn as a badge of honor. However, I believe the ability to single-task and be fully present and focused on one thing at a time is far better for relationships, long-term performance and well-being.
I suggest creating intentional boundaries at work and home. When you're at work, give undivided attention and focus on your work. When you're at home, silence your phone and step away from your inbox. It's not easy, especially in leadership roles, but feeling like you have to be constantly available makes prioritizing and modeling balance all the more important. Work hard and strive for success, but never lose sight of staying present with your family.
As parents and leaders, we are the role models: We're always being watched. It's not what we say that matters most, but what we do. There's a saying in medicine: 'Patients don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.'
The same holds true in leadership. To me, empathy is about consistently demonstrating that you care about your teammates. One small but meaningful habit I've adopted is asking my teammates a simple question: 'How are things going for you today?' It's a deliberately broad question to invite a reflective, personal response. While their instinct is often to share something work-related, I gently clarify, 'Not about work.' That distinction serves as a reminder that I'm genuinely interested in them and their well-being as people, not just as colleagues.
While these lessons have helped me grow as both a leader and parent, none would be successful without embodying one core value: kindness. At my son's school, the motto is 'choose kind.' It's a daily reminder that kindness isn't a natural trait but a decision we make. Be kind as a parent. Be kind as a leader. Be kind to yourself. Use good conduct and demonstrate positive values to build trust everywhere you go. Model good behavior, and everything else will fall into place.
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