Latest news with #VivekMurthy
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Millennial Parents Are Sharing The Things They Really, Really Wish Their Boomer Parents Understood
Millennials are the first generation of parents to have grown up in the digital era — and it shows. Today's parents have access to infinitely more information than their parents had, and they hold themselves to a different set of standards. Some boomers may mock today's touchy-feely gentle parenting, but these trends have grown out of insight into child development and the impact of childhood trauma. Many parents today believe that if you want to raise kind, respectful kids, you start by treating them with kindness and respect. A changed economic landscape means parents are also under more financial pressure. The cost of childcare continues to rise, with the average cost of a week of daycare going up 13% between 2022 and 2024. Families today are spending an average of 24% of their income on childcare — that's more than triple the 7% the Department of Health and Human Services considers affordable. This problem, along with parents working longer hours and spending more time caring for their children, makes it no surprise that parents' mental health is suffering. Back in August, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory on parental mental health, citing 'an intensifying culture of comparison' among the stressors weighing on parents, causing them to report significantly higher rates of stress than adults without children. Today's parents are certainly looking for support wherever they can find it, online or within their own families. Oftentimes, grandparents want to be helpful but may struggle with all the ways parenting has changed since they raised their children. We asked millennial parents to tell us what they wish their parents understood. Here's what they had to say. Times have changed. Related: 'The world is a different place from when we were raised, so parenting has to be different. The mental load is crazy, and usually both parents need to work, so the 'traditional' family life most of us grew in is obsolete (for the majority). The comments of 'when you were young,' no matter how well-meaning, add to the parental guilt of not being available for your child 100% of the time as a mother or not being able to provide financially by yourself as a father, and it really hurts.' — Lesley Cox 'Millennials are navigating a different world when it comes to financial instability, work-life balance and social media pressures. It genuinely is harder being a parent now, especially when it comes to costs compared to back in the day, even accounting for inflation. Childcare expenses are astronomical and add to stress. Millennials wish their parents understood that raising kids today comes with different economic, social and cultural challenges and that comparison to the 'way things were' can feel invalidating.' — Dr. Mona Amin We expect an equal partnership. Related: 'A lot of boomer people, they're so amazed at our partners and how much they participate in child rearing. They're like, 'Oh my gosh, they're just the best dad!' And I have a great husband, and he is a great dad, but it's like, yeah, because he does the same things I do. I'm a great mom, too. But there's so many kudos toward men, which I just think is funny. Their generation, she's like, 'Your dad didn't change a single darn diaper.' Well, I would not have let that fly. That's insane. I'm just calling her out on it: 'No, mom, this is called a partnership. He doesn't get a party because he's doing what is expected.'' — Taylor Wolfe Sometimes you need to expand the village. 'I've noticed that my parents understand the importance of being and providing a 'village' to help me with my children and family. I do wish though that they understood that all help doesn't always have to come from the family. Sometimes, to allow for everyone in the family to rest, hired help may be needed. It could be a nanny, babysitter or daycare. My parents feel that I shouldn't pay for the help if they're around. The issue is that, just like my husband and I, our parents need a break, and we respect that. If we have the means and access to outside help, it's a huge privilege and an added expense that's worth it. Responsibilities can be shared without guilt.' — Mya Morenzoni 'I wish my parents knew that we have to parent so much differently than they did back in the day. We have to parent with paid help, whether that's a nanny or au pair. The village is available, but at a cost.' — Natalie Robinson We speak openly about mental health. Related: 'Many millennials prioritize their own mental health and their children's emotional well-being, embracing therapy, mindfulness and open communication about mental health. They want their parents to recognize that mental health is not a taboo topic but an integral part of raising happy, resilient kids.' — Dr. Mona Amin More is expected of us. 'One of the biggest struggles seems to be getting my parents to understand that things that were 'good enough' or 'fine' for me or my siblings aren't good enough anymore. From food to schoolwork to sports/extracurriculars and even what they're watching ... there's just a lot more involvement. And the crazy thing is that it's also somewhat expected that millennial parents will be overly involved in their kids' lives.' — Christina Rincon We place a high value on experiences. Related: 'We're focused on creating life-long memories for and with our kids. Prioritizing vacations with and without kids is just as important as anything else in life.' — Natalie Robinson We respect our children and give them autonomy. 'One thing that I wish that our parents understood is that we treat our children with respect and we understand that they are humans who are allowed to express their emotions. I think the best way to teach children to be respectful people is to give them that respect. That means allowing them to express their emotions and also to apologize to our kids if there's a situation where I feel like maybe I handled it incorrectly. How can I get upset about my children not regulating their emotions if I can't always be expected to regulate mine? So my kids are allowed to have bad days. They're allowed to say, 'Mama, I don't agree.' They're allowed to choose who they want to hug and who they don't want to hug. Those are the tough conversations we have had with our parents because how they want to parent our kids is not the same. In the moment, I'm not going to disagree with my mom or my in-laws, but it is a conversation after the fact: 'Hey, you know how you responded in this moment? I'm not calling my child a crybaby. I'm not telling them to stop crying, to suck it up. We're using different language.'' — Jamilla Svansson-Brown Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length. This article originally appeared on HuffPost. Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful:
New York Post
2 days ago
- Politics
- New York Post
Support for phone bans in school ticks up in the US, Pew study reveals
People increasingly support school phone bans — and New York got the message. As New York bans cellphone use during the school day, a recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that support for phone bans in school is increasing. 3 The majority of U.S. adults support prohibiting students from using their phones during class time. Getty Images About 74% of US adults say they would support banning middle and high school students from using cellphones during class — that's up from 68% last fall. Only a small portion — fewer than 19% — oppose classroom bans and even fewer — 7% — are unsure. But a growing number of people don't just think students should be banned from using their phones during class time, but support the devices being banned during the entire school day. More than four-in-ten Americans — 44% — back school day bans. That's up from 36% last fall. Those 50 years and older are more likely to support these bans, but support among all age groups is growing. It's one issue that both Republicans and Democrats can agree on — 78% vs. 71% for class time bans. About two-thirds of adults support all-day cellphone bans, believing it would improve students' social skills, grades and behavior in class. Far fewer say this of physical safety. 3 About 74% of U.S. adults say they would support banning middle and high school students from using cellphones during class — that's up from 68% last fall. CarlosBarquero – Some opponents worry that children won't be able to contact their parents in case of an emergency, such as a school shooting — but most adults believe the benefits outweigh this increasingly possible scenario. The push for cellphone bans has largely been spurred by growing concerns about the negative impact screen time has on children's mental health. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy — who has called for the implementation of a tobacco-style 'warning label' for social media platforms about their effects on young people's lives — has said schools need to provide phone-free times. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, 77% of U.S. schools say they prohibit cellphones at school for non-academic use. 3 More than four-in-ten Americans — 44% — back school day bans. That's up from 36% last fall. Getty Images/iStockphoto However, experts note that while schools may have phone restrictions, they may not be enforced or followed. Kim Whitman, co-founder of the Phone Free Schools Movement, said the issue is catching on because parents and teachers are struggling with the consequences of kids on mobile devices. 'It doesn't matter if you live in a big city or a rural town, urban or suburban, all children are struggling and need that seven-hour break from the pressures of phones and social media during the school day,' she said. Florida was the first state to crack down on phones in school, passing a 2023 law that requires all public schools to ban cellphone use during class time and block access to social media on district Wi-Fi. Several other states have followed suit, including New York. Earlier this year, Governor Hochul signed the Distraction-Free Schools law into practice. The new law requires bell-to-bell smartphone restrictions in K-12 school districts statewide, starting this upcoming 2025 to 2026 school year. The state's powerful teachers' union — New York State United Teachers — backs a 'phone-free' school policy. All New York public school districts must publish their policy, which must provide parents with a way to contact their kids during the day when necessary, for approval by August 1. 'As Governor, my priority is ensuring every New York student receives a high-quality education, free from constant clicking and scrolling – that's why I've directed my team to commit every available resource for school districts to develop their distraction-free learning policies by the August 1 deadline,' Gov. Hochul said in a statement. 'I'm encouraged by my discussion with Capital Region school districts that have already implemented their distraction-free policy, and I am confident that New York will be ready to implement bell-to-bell smartphone restrictions on the first day of school.'
Forbes
3 days ago
- Health
- Forbes
Five Key Public Health Solutions For Gun Violence Prevention
WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 11: Erica Ford speaks during March for Our Lives 2022 on June 11, 2022 in ... More Washington, DC. Erica Ford is a gun violence prevention activist and founder of LIFE Camp, an organization committed to putting an end to gun violence in communities across the country. (Photo byfor March For Our Lives) Previous surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy issued an advisory on firearm violence in America, declaring it a public health crisis. This should come as no surprise, as there were 503 mass shootings in America in 2024, which is more than one a day according to Gun Violence Archive. I had the good fortune of moderating an expert panel discussion on gun violence prevention in Washington D.C. at the 2024 Milken Institute Future of Health Summit. Here are five key solutions the panel came up with to help combat gun violence. Addressing Root Causes Of Violence Gun violence has so many root causes, but it often stems from social determinants such as poverty, unemployment and systemic inequities. Policymakers and government officials need to make education more accessible, expand job opportunities and allow housing to become affordable in order to mitigate conditions that foster violence. Dr. Zachary Meisel, Professor of Emergency Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania said, 'We need to really be thinking holistically, upstream about the root causes of violence, but also downstream about the interventions that actually can change the trajectory of firearm injuries.' Without addressing root causes of violence, long-term solutions and improvements can never be realized. Investing In Community-Based Interventions And Programs Gun violence is now the leading cause of death in young people in America, disproportionately affecting people of color particularly in urban areas. Community-based violent intervention programs can make a huge dent in preventing gun violence, as done in some big cities throughout the U.S. Such programs have resulted in a 63% decrease in gun shooting victimization in South Bronx and a 43% reduction in gun-related deaths in Richmond, California. The programs hire trained community members to mediate conflicts and prevent retaliatory violence, which can be instrumental in decreasing shootings. Investing in these programs can prove critical in preventing so many common tragedies attributable to firearms. Advocating For Legislative Reform Comprehensive background checks will always be a pillar for gun violence prevention. States that have laws that require in-person applications and fingerprinting before purchasing guns have decreased rates of homicides and suicides by firearms compared to states without such laws. Additionally, requiring licensing for firearm ownership including mandatory safety training, ensures that only responsible individuals can access guns. It can of course be difficult to pass legislation with respect to guns, given how starkly divided America stands with respect to the right to bear arms. Stefanie Feldman, previous Director of the White House Office of Gun Violence Prevention under President Biden, said, 'Really mobilizing people around specific issues and being willing to partner with people who you might agree on one piece of the puzzle with, even though they don't agree on the whole concept…Taking people wherever they are willing to partner on this issue moves the ball forward, and every life saved matters.' Expanding Mental Health Resources The effects of gun violence do not just affect those that die, but also the many more that survive, as well as the family and friends of those that survive. The mental trauma that results from these events can result in not only anxiety and depression, but also the constant fear that it could happen again. While the majority of people with mental health conditions are not violent, enhanced access to mental health services can play a critical role in reducing suicides by firearms, which account for the majority of gun deaths in the U.S. Strategies to expand mental health resources include increasing funding for mental health care, integrating mental health and violence screening into routine medical health visits and creating crisis intervention programs. Strengthening Research And Data Collection Science and public health rely on data and research. Innovation and change in science are driven by data that supports or refutes ideas and hypotheses. The data collected from this research can inform evidence-based policies and interventions to reduce and prevent gun violence. Gun violence can be entirely preventable, and many high-income countries have much lower rates of it compared to America. Although many Americans remain divided on the issue of firearm use, the vast majority want safe and secure communities. As Angela Ferrell-Zabala, Executive Director of Moms Demand Action, said, 'I've talked to some people that have very, very different politics than I do, and we are able to come to some agreement together…And you start there, and you build from that.'
CTV News
30-06-2025
- Health
- CTV News
The cost of loneliness can be death. Here's how to find good friends
After working from home all day, your takeout order arrives and you start binge-watching your favorite show alone. Sounds ideal, right? Except doing this routinely could shorten your life. And that's not because of the nutritional content of your dinner. It's because having strong, positive relationships is one of the best ways to extend your life, according to research. 'Human beings just are a fundamentally social species. We have a fundamental need to belong,' said Dr. Amit Kumar, associate professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin's McCombs School of Business. With everything else you have going on, why should you make a change? Because the cost of loneliness is huge. 'The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity,' wrote then US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy in his 2023 advisory on the 'healing effects' of social connection . The lack of strong social ties has been linked to a greater risk of problems with health or well-being, including more stress, high blood pressure, premature death and poor coping skills. But finding friends as an adult can be hard. Some people's mindsets hinder their ability to make connections, while a lack of affordable places to meet is a challenge for others, said Danielle Bayard Jackson, director of the Women's Relational Health Institute. But the effort is worth it. Here's how Jackson and other experts suggest you combat those limitations and find your community. Breaking down barriers to friendship If you want to make more connections in your life, consider how you might be counteracting that goal and prepare to change, said Jackson, author of 'Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships.' Many people have a fear of rejection, real or perceived, while others have social anxiety, Jackson said. But if you never take risks, Kumar noted, you never give your brain a chance to see that you actually can socialize. Practicing cognitive behavioral therapy or setting yourself up for 'micro' moments to put yourself out there can help you regulate social anxiety and rejection-sensitivity, experts said. Not everyone is going to like you, and you need to learn to regulate your emotional response to that. That could look like noting the sting and thinking, 'Well, that was awkward' — but not immediately labeling that person a jerk or deciding something about you is defective. 'Some psychologists call it exposure therapy,' Jackson said. 'I've seen them assign a client the task of going and asking for crazy things and intentionally trying to go and collect nos.' Engage with a waiter a bit longer than normal and ask for a menu accommodation you know they will decline, Jackson said. Check out at the grocery store with a cashier instead of self-checkout to practice your social skills. If time is an issue, think about canceling some commitments so you can prioritize your social life, experts said. But you should also change what you consider acceptable hangouts — setting time limits is OK, especially when the alternative is not seeing anyone at all. Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, suggests doing mundane activities with friends more often instead of always having bigger, less frequent events focused on catching up. If you want to see someone but also need to run errands, hit the gym or fold laundry, ask them to join you. Instead of drinks on a Friday, plan a short Tuesday game night and ask your guests to eat dinner beforehand so you only have to provide a snack. Defy environmental challenges to socializing Some people cite the 'collapse of third places' as a hindrance to making friends, Jackson said. That's true, she added, but those places are closing in part because of low attendance. Today's culture of convenience is also to blame, Jackson and Cook said — think grocery delivery orders, mobile order counters, digital reading devices or livestreamed religious services. These have many perks, especially for people with mobility issues, 'but I cannot help but to think about the cost,' Jackson said. 'We tend to romanticize those serendipitous moments of, like, you're in a coffee shop and you start chatting with the girl in front of you and you guys hit it off,' Jackson said. But that can't happen if we're acting like 'little night cooters,' Cook said — quickly hopping out, getting our food and then going back to our caves. When clients seek Jackson's help with finding friends, they list all their delivery subscriptions and other conveniences — such as frequent mobile orders — and then eliminate some, which lead to those serendipitous moments. Don't think in black or white, Jackson said. 'If you see it as zero friends or go out and make besties, that's a lot,' she added. But if you see all that's available to you — like the neighbor or moviegoer you always run into — you can see what happens. Finally, get off your phone. When you're always zoned in on your screen, you appear standoffish and won't notice people you might like. Go out to meet likeminded people To determine where to meet people, consider your values and your ideal friend, Jackson said. If you love helping people, look for volunteering opportunities. If your ideal friend reads books, where would she be on a Wednesday night? Probably at a book club meeting or a bookstore, so go to one. Frequent local libraries, farmers markets and parks. Look online for interest clubs or events, or try an app for finding friends nearby. Take a class on something you have always wanted to do, such as learning a specific dance style or cooking a special cuisine. Maybe even reach out to an old friend you have lost touch with, said psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco, an associate fellow at the University of Maryland honors program and author of 'Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends.' We often underestimate how happy people will be to hear from us, she noted. When Cook became a new mom, she brought her baby along on her walks and made many friends by asking other women about their babies and talking about her own. Cook also suggested wearing something that could be a conversation starter, such as a T-shirt featuring your favorite artist. And don't forget you can be a leader, Cook said. 'A lot of people are hoping these opportunities will just fall in their lap. If you're not finding it, build it.' Cook recalled when her friends hosted dinners they called 'friends of friends.' They would invite a friend who also had to bring someone. 'That completely built out their whole social world because their friends were all getting to know each other,' Cook said. 'It became this popular thing where there was a wait list.' Another person couldn't find a quilting club for millennials, so they started a monthly class in a rented space, Cook said. That do-it-yourself spirit is what sparked some of the platforms that matchmake strangers for restaurant dinners or provide spaces for people to start something themselves. Those initiatives include The Lonely Girls Club in the United Kingdom; California's Groundfloor, an 'after-school club' for millennials; RealRoots in the United States; and the global-based Time Left. How to talk to strangers Small talk may seem annoying, but it's necessary, said Cook, who also wrote 'Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World.' Deep relationships take time to build. If you find yourself running out of topics, Cook recommends asking questions about their favorite things that are relevant to the situation — if you're at a jazz bar, for example, ask someone about their favorite jazz artists. If your platonic interest loves hiking, say you'll send them links to a couple of good spots if they give you their number or Instagram, Jackson suggested. Later that night, send them the links. After a week, ask if they went and keep talking. Cook also suggests using the 'listen and link' technique. As you're listening to someone, think about what you can link to the conversation, use that and build from there. If someone's talking about their trip to Costa Rica and you love monkeys, ask what kinds of monkeys they saw in Costa Rica. One of my favorite ways to keep a conversation going with someone new? Staying curious. When someone is totally new to you, there is a whole decades-long world of information to learn about them. When you're aware of that, how could you ever have nothing to talk about? Cook agrees. How to keep a friend Although many people know romantic partnerships require consistent effort and nurturing, many think friendship should be the opposite: easy, natural and organic, Jackson said. This idea may be because growing up, we made friends more easily because we had classes or sports practice with them every day. But in adulthood, that idea is a falsehood that leads to fizzled-out friendships and loneliness, Jackson said. Maintaining friendships takes a lot of intention, experts said. Set reminders to check in, be a good listener, don't be judgmental and remember what your new acquaintances like so you can suggest meaningful ways to spend time together — and maybe even live longer. By Kristen Rogers.
CTV News
30-06-2025
- Health
- CTV News
Having friends can help you live longer. Here's how to find them
After working from home all day, your takeout order arrives and you start binge-watching your favourite show alone. Sounds ideal, right? Except doing this routinely could shorten your life. And that's not because of the nutritional content of your dinner. It's because having strong, positive relationships is one of the best ways to extend your life, according to research. 'Human beings just are a fundamentally social species. We have a fundamental need to belong,' said Dr. Amit Kumar, associate professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin's McCombs School of Business. With everything else you have going on, why should you make a change? Because the cost of loneliness is huge. 'The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity,' wrote then US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy in his 2023 advisory on the 'healing effects' of social connection . The lack of strong social ties has been linked to a greater risk of problems with health or well-being, including more stress, high blood pressure, premature death and poor coping skills. But finding friends as an adult can be hard. Some people's mindsets hinder their ability to make connections, while a lack of affordable places to meet is a challenge for others, said Danielle Bayard Jackson, director of the Women's Relational Health Institute. But the effort is worth it. Here's how Jackson and other experts suggest you combat those limitations and find your community. Breaking down barriers to friendship If you want to make more connections in your life, consider how you might be counteracting that goal and prepare to change, said Jackson, author of 'Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships.' Many people have a fear of rejection, real or perceived, while others have social anxiety, Jackson said. But if you never take risks, Kumar noted, you never give your brain a chance to see that you actually can socialize. Practicing cognitive behavioural therapy or setting yourself up for 'micro' moments to put yourself out there can help you regulate social anxiety and rejection-sensitivity, experts said. Not everyone is going to like you, and you need to learn to regulate your emotional response to that. That could look like noting the sting and thinking, 'Well, that was awkward' — but not immediately labelling that person a jerk or deciding something about you is defective. 'Some psychologists call it exposure therapy,' Jackson said. 'I've seen them assign a client the task of going and asking for crazy things and intentionally trying to go and collect nos.' Engage with a waiter a bit longer than normal and ask for a menu accommodation you know they will decline, Jackson said. Check out at the grocery store with a cashier instead of self-checkout to practice your social skills. If time is an issue, think about canceling some commitments so you can prioritize your social life, experts said. But you should also change what you consider acceptable hangouts — setting time limits is OK, especially when the alternative is not seeing anyone at all. Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, suggests doing mundane activities with friends more often instead of always having bigger, less frequent events focused on catching up. If you want to see someone but also need to run errands, hit the gym or fold laundry, ask them to join you. Instead of drinks on a Friday, plan a short Tuesday game night and ask your guests to eat dinner beforehand so you only have to provide a snack. Defy environmental challenges to socializing Some people cite the 'collapse of third places' as a hindrance to making friends, Jackson said. That's true, she added, but those places are closing in part because of low attendance. Today's culture of convenience is also to blame, Jackson and Cook said — think grocery delivery orders, mobile order counters, digital reading devices or livestreamed religious services. These have many perks, especially for people with mobility issues, 'but I cannot help but to think about the cost,' Jackson said. 'We tend to romanticize those serendipitous moments of, like, you're in a coffee shop and you start chatting with the girl in front of you and you guys hit it off,' Jackson said. But that can't happen if we're acting like 'little night cooters,' Cook said — quickly hopping out, getting our food and then going back to our caves. When clients seek Jackson's help with finding friends, they list all their delivery subscriptions and other conveniences — such as frequent mobile orders — and then eliminate some, which lead to those serendipitous moments. Don't think in black or white, Jackson said. 'If you see it as zero friends or go out and make besties, that's a lot,' she added. But if you see all that's available to you — like the neighbor or moviegoer you always run into — you can see what happens. Finally, get off your phone. When you're always zoned in on your screen, you appear standoffish and won't notice people you might like. Go out to meet likeminded people To determine where to meet people, consider your values and your ideal friend, Jackson said. If you love helping people, look for volunteering opportunities. If your ideal friend reads books, where would she be on a Wednesday night? Probably at a book club meeting or a bookstore, so go to one. Frequent local libraries, farmers markets and parks. Look online for interest clubs or events, or try an app for finding friends nearby. Take a class on something you have always wanted to do, such as learning a specific dance style or cooking a special cuisine. Maybe even reach out to an old friend you have lost touch with, said psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco, an associate fellow at the University of Maryland honors program and author of 'Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends.' We often underestimate how happy people will be to hear from us, she noted. When Cook became a new mom, she brought her baby along on her walks and made many friends by asking other women about their babies and talking about her own. Cook also suggested wearing something that could be a conversation starter, such as a T-shirt featuring your favorite artist. And don't forget you can be a leader, Cook said. 'A lot of people are hoping these opportunities will just fall in their lap. If you're not finding it, build it.' Cook recalled when her friends hosted dinners they called 'friends of friends.' They would invite a friend who also had to bring someone. 'That completely built out their whole social world because their friends were all getting to know each other,' Cook said. 'It became this popular thing where there was a wait list.' Another person couldn't find a quilting club for millennials, so they started a monthly class in a rented space, Cook said. That do-it-yourself spirit is what sparked some of the platforms that matchmake strangers for restaurant dinners or provide spaces for people to start something themselves. Those initiatives include The Lonely Girls Club in the United Kingdom; California's Groundfloor, an 'after-school club' for millennials; RealRoots in the United States; and the global-based Time Left. How to talk to strangers Small talk may seem annoying, but it's necessary, said Cook, who also wrote 'Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World.' Deep relationships take time to build. If you find yourself running out of topics, Cook recommends asking questions about their favorite things that are relevant to the situation — if you're at a jazz bar, for example, ask someone about their favorite jazz artists. If your platonic interest loves hiking, say you'll send them links to a couple of good spots if they give you their number or Instagram, Jackson suggested. Later that night, send them the links. After a week, ask if they went and keep talking. Cook also suggests using the 'listen and link' technique. As you're listening to someone, think about what you can link to the conversation, use that and build from there. If someone's talking about their trip to Costa Rica and you love monkeys, ask what kinds of monkeys they saw in Costa Rica. One of my favourite ways to keep a conversation going with someone new? Staying curious. When someone is totally new to you, there is a whole decades-long world of information to learn about them. When you're aware of that, how could you ever have nothing to talk about? Cook agrees. How to keep a friend Although many people know romantic partnerships require consistent effort and nurturing, many think friendship should be the opposite: easy, natural and organic, Jackson said. This idea may be because growing up, we made friends more easily because we had classes or sports practice with them every day. But in adulthood, that idea is a falsehood that leads to fizzled-out friendships and loneliness, Jackson said. Maintaining friendships takes a lot of intention, experts said. Set reminders to check in, be a good listener, don't be judgmental and remember what your new acquaintances like so you can suggest meaningful ways to spend time together — and maybe even live longer. By Kristen Rogers, CNN
