'I was in love with an incarcerated man - now he's my Edinburgh Fringe show'

Metro

2 days ago

Laurie Magers is laughing off the two years she spent in love with a man in prison for assault with a deadly weapon – because if she can't joke about it, then it's deeply uncomfortable to talk about.
Now 33, the US comedian and TV writer behind shows such as Obliterated and CBS Showcase 2023,is looking back on this unusual turn in her early 20s in the form of an Edinburgh Fringe show.
'When I tell this story to people and do the show, I have trouble sometimes believing that this stuff happened to me,' Laurie admits, speaking to Metro over Zoom from an Edinburgh apartment.
Laurie was just 23 when she met Bill (not his real name), who was also in his early 20s, while he was on parole from prison, ankle monitor in tow.
After meeting on dating app Plenty of Fish – lol, Laurie reflects – they met up at his house because he wasn't allowed out past his 9pm curfew.
'On the first date I wanted to be really cool so I brought a giant bong over to his house to smoke weed,' Laurie recalls.
'I asked what the crime was and to see his ankle monitor. Assault with a deadly weapon should have scared me off, but it didn't.'
They immediately had sex, and for the next two years, the rest was history.
'It wasn't the intriguing badboy thing. I was just very desperate for love and relationships and attention,' she says, adding: 'If anybody was into me, I was into them. It could have been anyone, and it was. He could have been a bad guy, and he was.'
Laurie was with Bill for four months while he was on parole, until he got locked up again for a previous charge. When she found out it was a sexual offence, she stayed with him still.
'I had such a strong need to be with somebody that I was willing to accept that about him and explain it away. I believed all of his excuses, and I stayed with him. Now as an adult, I can't believe I did that.'
Bill was locked up for six years and Laurie said she would wait for him.
But after two years of phone sex, love letters, and visits through glass every weekend, she left him – it had 'fizzled' out. It was also an abusive relationship.
'We had a cute relationship, but he also cheated on me and body shamed me and a lot of other things,' Laurie reflects.
'Looking back at it, it was absolutely an abusive relationship, but at the time, I was really in love with him and just ignoring all of these things,' she says.
Bill wanted Laurie to lose weight and made her join a gym. She's bisexual, so they would check women out together. He would point at women smaller than her and say: 'That's what you should look like.'
'There were also some maybe not-so-isolated incidents where there was some physical roughness during sex that was outside of my comfort zone. The consent was foggy,' Laurie says.
'My goal is to give the audience the same emotional whiplash that I felt during the relationship,' she explains.
'Comedy and traumatic dark stuff, they're just so close together,' Laurie says, adding: 'The stuff I did was silly. You have to laugh about it or it will be uncomfortable.'
When he was locked up, Bill was the best boyfriend in the world. He was also bored, and Laurie was useful.
Laurie once even thought very seriously about smuggling him drugs into prison in her vagina. She would also do things on the outside to sweeten his relationship with powerful inmates, like hand cash around and send messages to their associates.
It's an exposing and personal piece of theatre – it's also political, about the US prison system and corruption – but Laurie isn't worried about sharing her story with her audience.
'The part I'm scared of is – in the best case scenario, where everybody in the world sees this – is him finding out about it. That's a little scary to me in the back of my head. But I like telling the story,' she says.
How does this experience sit with Laurie after 10 years?
'It was a bad idea, but I don't regret it,' Laurie says, making the point that she got a good story out of it. 'It didn't trauma damage me to the point of no return.'
It did, however, contribute to Laurie's insecurities about her body, her lovability, and her ability to trust.
While Laurie doesn't really seem fazed throughout our interview, she turns solemn when talking about the good friends looking out for her she lost along the way. More Trending
'I honestly think maybe parts of how bad it was haven't really hit me yet,' she says, explaining: 'I think about it as a story now more than an experience.
'I almost look at it like it happened to someone else. Like, there's a step removed.
'Maybe over the course of this month, those two things will come together, and that would be kind of beautiful.'
Do You Accept These Charges? is airing every day at the Edinburgh Fringe in August at Pleasance Courtyard Below at 15.10. Tickets here.
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