How to say ‘no' to a child

The Sun

3 days ago

IT is just two simple alphabets, but it has the potential to cause a meltdown of gigantic proportions in a child. Yes, learning to say 'no' to a child is an essential component in parenting skillset. More pertinently, getting a young child to accept hearing that word without throwing a
monumental tantrum would be a feather in a parent's cap. Here is how you can approach it.
Erasing feelings of guilt
Saying 'no' does not equate you to a bad parent. In fact, saying 'yes' to everything will mark you as an irresponsible adult, with little or no self-control. It is imperative young children realise the world is not going to yield to their every whim and desire
just because they so desire it.
Pre-schoolers should get used to that word as they will probably be hearing a lot of it from teachers and supervisors at nurseries, kindergartens and eventually, schools.
As a parent, there should be no guilty feeling about saying 'no' to a child. Call it prep work for life skills, but the sooner the child accepts that word as being normal in their world, understanding life and its many challenges become a tad easier.
Teaching meaning of value
The cost-of-living crisis is biting hard into the budget of ordinary Malaysians. This is not the time to be indulging on non-essential items. Kids may not yet understand the economic realities, so try to explain in language that they will comprehend.
Illustrate why an expensive toy or going for a fancy dessert does not represent good value. Draw comparisons to highlight
that the item being asked for is not the best way to spend your hard-earned ringgit.
It may not be easy but you will have to put on your best sales person persona to convince your kid you are just not being a cheap skate.
Avoid conspicuous consumption
Avoid your child becoming an individual who is always trying to keep up with their peers. Just because their friends are having something does not make it good or desirable. So do not fall for the 'All my friends have it' ploy by making clear you are not in the slightest
bit interested in keeping up with the Joneses.
Be it the latest toy fad or watching some online junk on social media platforms, reining in their herd instinct at an early age has obvious benefits.
Do not be judged by material possessions
Echoing the point above, the ability to comfortably say 'no' to a child becomes increasingly significant as they get older. This is when they become more attuned to societal pressures and material desires.
It is at this juncture it becomes important that children understand life is not just about accumulating possessions. Life is enriched by experiences, many of which do not come with a price tag.