In honour of Joe Shaughnessy – a bonafide 'cinchman'

The Herald Scotland

7 hours ago

You can even do it by yourself. Sure, randomly saying the names of former-glory footballers out loud to yourself and laughing along may be a little extreme, and probably get you escorted out of your local Co-op, but we've all also carried out a version of this by getting lost in some online rabbit hole. It's often with the help of Wikipedia. You look up a player from years past, see his current club, recognise another player name there, and off you go!
You can also do it with strangers online. In September of this past season, there was one such trend which took off on social media that was all about sitting around, trying to think of beloved (but not obviously so) players from days gone by and getting a kick out of what others managed to rescue from their subconscious. It was entitled 'Barclaysman' (or 'Barclaysmen').
This was in reference to the time when Barclays sponsored the English Premier League (née Premiership) between 2001 and 2016. To be labelled as Barclaysman, the player had to be good enough to be remembered fondly by a larger group of people than just supporters of one club, but they couldn't be so good as to being completely obvious and thereby miss the whole point in the exercise. Cristiano Ronaldo? Absolutely not a Barclaysman. Far too good, far too famous, far too successful. But Jay Jay Okocha on the other hand? Now you're talking.
More than the players, it also appeals to the widely-shared belief that football was better before (it didn't have VAR, so it was). This was a celebrated era in which the Premier League really started to expand out to a global force, but before over-saturation got out of control and it was preordained that there be at least one English team in a European final every season.
Following the success of #Barclaysman, there were some attempted spin-offs north of the border. We even had one on The Terrace Podcast talking about the ultimate lower-league heroes from recent years – or 'Irn-Bru Men' as we dubbed it. But it's much trickier for that kind of trend to take off amongst Scottish football supporters, for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, while 'cinchman' was the most popular Scottish adaptation, it doesn't quite work to the same degree. After all, while some people still call it 'the cinch' despite William Hill having taken over as SPFL sponsors last summer, their run as the prefix to the Scottish league names only lasted two years (ah, but what a run it was!). You could go with 'Ladbrokesman' but that was only five years. And 'sponsorlessman' wouldn't do it either – everyone would just get annoyed about the governance of our game over recent decades and concentrate on that instead.
Secondly, there just isn't the same level of interest from the average fan about players who don't play for their own club. You really have to be a Scottish football nerd (he says from experience) to get any sort of mild thrill out of someone going 'here, mind Kallum Higginbotham?' Most fans are likely to go 'who?'. Or, at best, 'aye, I remember the name' before incorrectly naming one of his former clubs.
While we may not be strong in number, there are those of us who think watching Ross County v Dundee United on a rare Sky Sports broadcast is a treat and not a chore or something to be ignored, and we cherish these good men who may not have shone brightly but added to our enjoyment of Scottish football. Sadly, it now seems certain one such example of this is going to leave Scottish football for pastures new this summer.
Joe Shaughnessy is just the epitome of a cinchman. He started at Aberdeen but he didn't really make his name there, despite making over 50 appearances following his move over from Ireland as a 16-year-old. That's because he was largely played at right-back and was, largely, not very good at it.
He really grew into his own when he moved to St Johnstone in 2015 and was made a permanent fixture at the heart of their defence. He later impressed in a three-year spell at St Mirren before falling out with Stephen Robinson. And he was the only adult in the room over the last two seasons for a Dundee defence that was still shambolic with him in the team, but a total car-crash without his presence.
He wasn't the most skilled of footballers, even for a centre-back, but he had enough poise in possession that meant you felt comfortable if you were a Saints or Dundee supporter and stopped him being a figure of ridicule if you weren't. What made him stand out was his aggression in the air. The man never saw a ball off the ground that he didn't like to attack, which contributed to his ability to make a difference at set-pieces in the opposing penalty area, scoring 27 times over the years.
He was the perfect plug-and-play serviceable Scottish top-flight defender; exactly what a team needed if they aspirations were simply 'let's not make a fool of ourselves this season' – which is a mindset our clubs should really think about adopting more often.
It feels inexplicable that he never featured for Motherwell or Kilmarnock and now he likely never will. With his 33rd birthday coming up, he has decided against remaining at Dundee for the Steven Pressley era and is now set to make the move down under to the Newcastle Jets. Unless he suffers immediate homesickness, we probably won't see Joe rock up again at another Premiership side.
That is a shame, but he goes with the best wishes from those who will ultimately remember him as a proper cinchman.