The Art of Saying No: Subtle Ways of Creating Boundaries
As Indians, our traditions shape our values. But navigating adulthood, particularly professional life, requires learning a new skill: setting healthy boundaries. Saying no can feel unnatural at first, especially when you have been encouraged to help others from a young age. So, if you've ever found yourself typing 'Psychiatrist in Delhi' in a moment of overwhelm, consider this your sign: support is closer than you think, and it starts with learning the art of saying no.
Why Saying No Feels So Uncomfortable
Saying no can feel really uncomfortable, even when you know it's the right choice. A little voice in your head still whispers, 'But what if they get upset?' or 'I don't want to seem rude.'
Sulagna Mondal, a clinical psychologist at BetterPlace Health, explains that much of this discomfort stems from our upbringing. Most of us were taught to be polite, helpful, and easy to get along with, so saying no feels like breaking an unspoken rule.
But constantly saying 'yes' when you really mean no just ends up stretching you thin. You start feeling overwhelmed, resentful, maybe even burnt out—outcomes that ultimately hurt not just you, but the very relationships you're trying to preserve.
How to Say No Without Creating Drama
Setting boundaries does not mean you have to be rigid and distant. A little grace, tact, and assertiveness can go a long way. Here are some practical tips from the mental health team at BetterPlace Health on how to set boundaries thoughtfully without turning every "no" into a confrontation.
Start Small and Practice Often
Lovleena Sharma, a clinical psychologist at BetterPlace Health, suggests starting with small, low-pressure situations. If the thought of saying no gives you anxiety, don't go to the extreme. Maybe a friend invites you to a casual hangout you're not up for. Try: 'Hey, thanks for thinking of me, but this time I won't be able to make it, but I hope it goes well'
Practice builds confidence. The more you assert your boundaries in everyday life, the more natural it becomes to you. You're not aiming for perfection—you're learning to respect your time and energy. By consistently saying no in challenging situations—whether declining an invitation to meet a friend, turning down an unexpected dinner invitation, opting out of an official gathering, or setting limits on last-minute tasks at work—you reinforce your boundaries and priorities for your well-being. Over time, this practice empowers you, and you'll find that people usually adapt without drama—they simply adjust, and so will you.
Use Soft Language Without Losing Your Ground
Saying no doesn't mean you have to be cold or harsh. You can frame your refusal gently so it doesn't hurt when it lands. A soft 'I'm afraid I can't right now' is smoother than a blunt 'Nope. Not now.' You're still being clear, just with a gentler tone.
Try phrases like:
'I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I'll have to pass.'
'That sounds lovely, but I'm a bit stretched thin this week.'
'Thanks for the offer, but I'm not available for that right now.'
'I'm honoured you asked, but I won't be able to commit this time.'
'I'd love to, but I have other priorities at the moment.'
The idea isn't to sugarcoat your boundaries, you're just delivering them with kindness and clarity. You can say no and still leave the other person feeling respected.
Be Consistent
Once you start reinforcing your boundaries with consistency, people begin to understand that your no truly means no. They might test the waters, especially if you've built a reputation as a 'yes' person, but staying firm is the key. For instance, if you politely decline every time a friend asks you for a last-minute favour, they'll eventually get the message, without you needing to explain it each time. That steady consistency becomes your silent boundary.
The more you honour your limits, the less often you'll find yourself needing to defend them. People adapt when they realise the expectations have shifted. But you must hold your ground, even when it is tempting to give in.
You Don't Owe an Explanation Every Time
This one's a game-changer: You're allowed to say no without offering a lengthy explanation. Not every no requires a detailed backstory. In fact, over-explaining can often open doors for negotiation, and before you know it, you're back to saying yes out of guilt.
Here's how you can keep it short and sweet:
'No, I won't be able to make it.'
'I'm not taking on extra work right now.'
'That doesn't work for me.'
Simple. Direct. Respectful. Your time and well-being are valid reasons on their own—you don't need to justify them to anyone.
Know When to Walk Away
Sometimes, subtlety is not the answer. Especially with people who can't take a hint and don't take no for an answer. In those moments, the most respectful thing you can do is walk away.
This doesn't have to be a dramatic exit, just as simple as not replying immediately, or distancing yourself from overwhelming demands, or firmly ending a conversation that keeps going in circles.
Dr. Akul Gupta, a leading psychiatrist at BetterPlace Health, explains that stepping back isn't avoidance— it's self-preservation. Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do to protect your peace is to remove yourself from situations that continually test your boundaries.
Reading the Signs: When It's Time to Say No
You don't always need a flashing red flag waving in your face to know it's time to set a boundary. The signs are sometimes subtle. Trust your instincts and you'll start recognising when you need to say a firm no.
According to Ayushi Paul, a clinical psychologist at BetterPlace Health, if you say yes to a favour and feel immediate regret, that's your inner self signalling that your boundaries have been crossed. Physical signs like your body getting tense, your mood shifting, or your heart and mind racing are other clues.
And pay attention to patterns. Take a note of the people and situations that regularly make you feel drained or used. The more you tune into these signals, the quicker you'll be able to catch those moments before you fall into automatic yes mode. And once you notice the signs, don't second-guess them.
Surpass the Guilt
Guilt often shows up the moment you try to put yourself first. It's a stubborn emotion rooted in old conditioning— maybe you were praised for being helpful, or perhaps you fear people will think you've changed. But change isn't bad—it's a sign of growth. And saying no doesn't make you selfish. It makes you honest.
To move past guilt, you have to challenge the stories in your head. Ask yourself:
Am I truly being unkind, or just honest?
What would I advise a friend in the same situation?
Does saying yes here support my wellbeing, or drain me?
Also, remind yourself of what you gain. Every time you say no to something that doesn't serve you, you're saying yes to rest, clarity, peace, and joy. That's something worth celebrating, not something to feel guilty about.
Seek Support When Needed
Setting boundaries is an act of courage. It's not always easy, and doesn't come naturally to some of us. It can be deeply personal, and, at times, emotionally exhausting. Learning to say no can feel like you're unlearning a lifetime of habits if you've spent years as the go-to person, the people-pleaser, or the yes-person.
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, moments of overwhelm can creep in. Maybe you're wrestling with guilt, or you're dealing with people who don't take your no seriously. That's when it's time to reach out—not because you're failing, but because you're growing. And growth isn't meant to be a solo mission.
Support comes in many forms. It could be a trusted friend who supports your boundaries, or a support group or community that shares your values. And sometimes, the most powerful move is seeking professional help.
If your emotional well-being is taking a hit or if you're struggling with deeper issues around self-worth and assertiveness, it may be time to boot up Google and type 'Psychologist in Delhi" or even consider consulting a therapist or a counsellor. Speaking with someone trained to guide you through emotional burdens and help you build healthier boundaries can be very helpful.
Drawing healthy boundaries doesn't mean shutting people out, it could just mean making space for things that matter the most to you. You don't have to do it all on your own, and you shouldn't have to. Give yourself permission to get the support you deserve.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Time of India
7 hours ago
- Time of India
How AI Helped an Indian Health Expert Lose 10 Kg Without Giving Up Ice Cream
Live Events For decades, diet culture in India has been dominated by extremes of fad diets, juice cleanses, and the age-old guilt of indulging in sweets. But one Indian health expert, Simran Valecha, decided to test a new approach: combining traditional nutrition with the precision of artificial intelligence. Instead of running to a dietitian, she opened ChatGPT and gave it detailed prompts to help her design her personalized diet plan In that, she wrote her height, weight, and how to lose weight in a sustainable manner. She also mentioned that prepare it according to an Indian diet that will also include main meals and 2-4 snacks throughout the day. She also included that she worked a 9-5 job and spent hours commuting to work. She also included that she works out once a day when she has the leisure time. She also included her preference based on what she wanted to eat for breakfast, lunch, and her surprise, the AI didn't recommend anything drastic. No keto. No intermittent fasting. No starvation. Instead, ChatGPT crafted a personalized plan rooted in Indian staples—dal, roti, sabzi, curd, and seasonal fruits. The twist? It accounted for portion control, calorie balance, and even the occasional three months, she shed 10 kg—without the constant battle of cravings or the fear of 'falling off the wagon.' AI proved what nutritionists have been saying for years, but few practice: sustainability beats has encouraged many of her followers to get a personalized diet for themselves, as AI helps in not only providing a diet but also guidance throughout. With mid-midnight craving to cheat diet in between, that will help her to be consistent. It provided her with a clear direction and not a strict diet, which is impossible to stay consistent supported the integration of AI with human support to create a sustainable path to weight beyond the success story lies a bigger question: is this the future of dieting in India? With AI tools like ChatGPT capable of analysing food patterns, cultural preferences, and even emotional triggers, diet plans no longer must feel foreign or restrictive. Instead of imported fad diets, Indians can now have technology design nutrition strategies tailored to local cuisine and health expert notes another benefit: accountability. By having ChatGPT track her progress and tweak the plan weekly, she felt guided without judgment. It wasn't about punishment, it was about progress. 'It was like having a non-judgmental coach who understood my cravings,' she importantly, this experiment challenges the belief that health demands sacrifice. Instead, it shows that with the right tools, we can balance losing weight while still enjoying life's small perhaps that's the most exciting part. AI isn't just changing how we work or communicate, it's reshaping how we eat, live, and stay healthy. If it can make ice cream part of a weight-loss plan, what else is possible?
Mint
8 hours ago
- Mint
Why India needs to take prediabetes more seriously
Delhi-based Mansi Kashyap, 29, a chartered accountant, was in peak physical shape during her college years. But post-graduation, her life shifted. With career anxiety mounting and family pressures weighing her down, her once-vibrant energy began to fade. Already diagnosed with anxiety, she chalked up the fatigue and lethargy to mental health struggles. 'I'd wake up tired and feel drained all day, despite my job being sedentary," she recalls. 'Then my belly started changing shape. I took up brisk walking and even jumped rope, but nothing improved. For two years, I ignored these signs until I started experiencing excessive thirst and frequent urination." Alarmed, she finally went in for a full health check-up—the first in nearly a decade. The results were sobering: she had prediabetes. Kashyap's experience is far from unique. Millions across India may be living in this silent zone of metabolic dysfunction unaware that they could be inching towards a chronic disease that could have been intercepted with timely action According to a 2023 ICMR–INDIAB study conducted by the Indian Council of Medical Research, at least 136 million Indians, or 15.3% of the population, are living with prediabetes. 'The prediabetic stage is crucial because it represents a window of opportunity: blood sugar levels are elevated but not yet high enough to be classified as diabetes," says Dr Paras Agarwal, clinical director & head of diabetes, obesity & metabolic disorders at Marengo Asia Hospitals, Gurugram. 'While typically asymptomatic, individuals in this stage are at significantly higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes." India, home to the second-largest diabetic population globally, has long focused on treating diabetes. But it is in the years—often decades—before full-blown disease sets in that the body sends warning signs. Most people just don't know how to read them. 'In India, nearly 50% of people living with diabetes are unaware of their condition, and prediabetes often goes unnoticed until it progresses. This silent progression is usually uncovered only through incidental findings during routine health check-ups, indicating a reactive, rather than proactive, diagnostic culture," notes Aditya Kandoi, CEO & founder of Redcliffe Labs. 'Routine screenings often miss prediabetes in younger or asymptomatic individuals because they aren't perceived as 'at risk.' As a result, what could be caught and managed early is allowed to evolve into a full-blown disease." SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR According to Dr Aarathi Bellary, consultant internal medicine at KIMS Hospitals, Kondapur, the numbers are already staggering. 'In India, prediabetes prevalence ranges from about 5–22% across regions, with recent large studies showing rates near 10–14% in both urban and rural populations," she explains. 'However, a significant proportion of individuals with prediabetes and even diabetes remain undiagnosed, particularly in lower socio-economic and less-educated groups, and increasingly rural populations." Doctors agree that prediabetes doesn't arrive with an announcement—it creeps in masked as exhaustion, skin changes, or vague complaints of gastric distress. 'Insulin resistance often develops gradually, but certain clinical signs can offer early clues," says Agarwal. These include central fat accumulation, acanthosis nigricans—a darkening of skin on the nape— and skin tags around the neck or armpits. Bellary offers a broader checklist of symptoms: 'Energy fluctuations, brain fog, cravings, disturbed sleep, mild depression, premature balding—these clusters, especially in those with a family history or other risk factors, should prompt early metabolic assessment—even before blood sugar meets prediabetes cut-offs." She adds that even 'seemingly healthy young adults, especially those not obviously overweight or without family history, are never screened until they present with more severe symptoms." Dr Abizer Manked, consultant physician at Saifee Hospital in Mumbai, notes, 'Routine screening is very underutilized in India. None of the younger generation does any blood tests unless they're unwell. Prevention is better than cure but it has to start with awareness and regular health checkups." STRESS, SLEEP AND METABOLISM Modern life is a metabolic minefield. Long commutes, job stress, screen-induced insomnia, and irregular meal timings don't just exhaust the mind—they disrupt the body's hormonal balance, too. 'Chronic stress and poor sleep are increasingly recognized as independent risk factors for metabolic disorders," notes Agarwal. 'Even in the absence of a poor diet or lack of exercise, these factors can significantly worsen glycemic control, elevate blood pressure, and increase the likelihood of cardiac events." Dr Jaspreet Singh, endocrinologist, Ujala Cygnus Group of Hospitals, Jammu highlights, 'In urban settings, we increasingly see young Indians with borderline or elevated fasting insulin and HOMA-IR scores, despite normal body weight and diet. Sleeping for less than six hours, high nighttime smartphone usage, and work-related stress are the leading causes of stress among individuals. These non-dietary triggers now play a clinically significant role in the early onset of metabolic dysfunction in the younger population." Bellary expands: 'Urban environments foster a 'wired but tired' phenotype: people may exercise occasionally and avoid obvious junk food but compensate with poor sleep and high stress, which can stealthily tip them into prediabetes despite a normal BMI." She further highlights a concerning trend in semi-urban India: 'Rural and semi-urban populations are addicted to carbonated high-sugary drinks with absolutely no awareness—this is another big problem." PREDIABETES IS REVERSIBLE 'Prediabetes represents a 'gray zone'—a transitional stage between normal metabolic function and full-blown diabetes. Unlike diabetes, which is considered remissible at best, prediabetes is largely reversible," Agarwal affirms. The key lies in lifestyle intervention. 'Improving dietary patterns, increasing physical activity, and losing excess weight can reduce insulin resistance and, in many cases, return blood sugar levels to normal. These changes can also delay or prevent the onset of diabetes by years." 'In Indian culture, mithais are a must for every occasion. We need a cultural shift to happen where we cut sugar, reduce carbs, move more, eat less fried food. We are a sedentary nation—and that has to change," says Manked. Singh notes, 'Although we can reverse prediabetes with timely action, India's healthcare system remains largely reactive. Most interventions begin only after a confirmed diabetes diagnosis, rather than during the warning stage. The current infrastructure lacks scalable programs for routine screening at the community level. Public health workers like ASHA and ANMs are often overburdened and undertrained for metabolic screening. To shift toward prevention, we must integrate early screening protocols, like community-based HbA1c testing, into primary health centers and corporate wellness programs. Without proactive follow-up systems, even identified prediabetes falls through the cracks." To stop prediabetes from becoming India's next major health crisis, experts agree: change must start at every level. Tanisha Saxena is a Delhi-based independent journalist. She writes stories that are on the intersection of art, culture and lifestyle.
Economic Times
9 hours ago
- Economic Times
How AI Helped an Indian Health Expert Lose 10 Kg Without Giving Up Ice Cream
Synopsis When we think of diet plans, the first thing that comes to mind is sacrifice: no desserts, no late-night snacks, no comfort food. But what if artificial intelligence could flip that idea on its head? That's exactly what happened when a health expert, Simran Valecha, turned to ChatGPT for help in creating a hyper-personalized Indian diet plan. The result: a 10 kg weight loss in just a few months while still enjoying a scoop of ice cream every week. ET Online For decades, diet culture in India has been dominated by extremes of fad diets, juice cleanses, and the age-old guilt of indulging in sweets. But one Indian health expert, Simran Valecha, decided to test a new approach: combining traditional nutrition with the precision of artificial intelligence. Instead of running to a dietitian, she opened ChatGPT and gave it detailed prompts to help her design her personalized diet that, she wrote her height, weight, and how to lose weight in a sustainable manner. She also mentioned that prepare it according to an Indian diet that will also include main meals and 2-4 snacks throughout the day. She also included that she worked a 9-5 job and spent hours commuting to work. She also included that she works out once a day when she has the leisure time. She also included her preference based on what she wanted to eat for breakfast, lunch, and her surprise, the AI didn't recommend anything drastic. No keto. No intermittent fasting. No starvation. Instead, ChatGPT crafted a personalized plan rooted in Indian staples—dal, roti, sabzi, curd, and seasonal fruits. The twist? It accounted for portion control, calorie balance, and even the occasional three months, she shed 10 kg—without the constant battle of cravings or the fear of 'falling off the wagon.' AI proved what nutritionists have been saying for years, but few practice: sustainability beats has encouraged many of her followers to get a personalized diet for themselves, as AI helps in not only providing a diet but also guidance throughout. With mid-midnight craving to cheat diet in between, that will help her to be consistent. It provided her with a clear direction and not a strict diet, which is impossible to stay consistent with. She supported the integration of AI with human support to create a sustainable path to weight beyond the success story lies a bigger question: is this the future of dieting in India? With AI tools like ChatGPT capable of analysing food patterns, cultural preferences, and even emotional triggers, diet plans no longer must feel foreign or restrictive. Instead of imported fad diets, Indians can now have technology design nutrition strategies tailored to local cuisine and health expert notes another benefit: accountability. By having ChatGPT track her progress and tweak the plan weekly, she felt guided without judgment. It wasn't about punishment, it was about progress. 'It was like having a non-judgmental coach who understood my cravings,' she importantly, this experiment challenges the belief that health demands sacrifice. Instead, it shows that with the right tools, we can balance losing weight while still enjoying life's small perhaps that's the most exciting part. AI isn't just changing how we work or communicate, it's reshaping how we eat, live, and stay healthy. If it can make ice cream part of a weight-loss plan, what else is possible? Disclaimer Statement: This content is authored by a 3rd party. The views expressed here are that of the respective authors/ entities and do not represent the views of Economic Times (ET). ET does not guarantee, vouch for or endorse any of its contents nor is responsible for them in any manner whatsoever. Please take all steps necessary to ascertain that any information and content provided is correct, updated, and verified. ET hereby disclaims any and all warranties, express or implied, relating to the report and any content therein.
