‘Yes, this accent comes in melanin' sums up the trouble with being Scottish and Black

Independent

14 hours ago

If every day is a school day, it's been an amazing week for many African-Americans as they discover that Black Scottish people exist.
A TikTok video by @starboysobersfitness has gone viral after he filmed himself in his car ranting about this summer's weather in Scotland. Not the sort of thing that would normally warrant almost four million views and counting.
And even Torgi Squire – a 43-year-old Glaswegian fitness influencer with locs, all the right muscles beneath his Under Armour and a killer-watt smile – admitted to not understanding the sudden and overwhelming popularity of this one clip… until he filmed a follow-up in which he took questions from his legion of new fans.
And there's one answer that gives the game away, and it's one that tells you that many of his followers are on the other side of the Atlantic. 'Yes,' he says eventually, in his caramelly Scottish burr, 'I am Black.'
Despite pointing out to a queue of disbelieving African-Americans that he is far from the only one in the village, that 'no, I'm no Sassenach', and that, yes, there are many other Black Scottish people, his roots still come as something of a surprise to the distrusting internet. To the point where he has to keep making the same point, in as many different ways as he can bear to offer: 'Welcome to Black Scottish TikTok ', he says; 'I'm 100 per cent Scottish beef'; and – best of all – 'Yes, this accent comes in melanin, too.'
Comments from viewers include gems such as "Mind blown", "How long have Black folk been in Scotland??? I had no idea lol", and " Is there racism in Scotland too? Real question…"
It's easy to laugh at Americans – so, so easy… – but I can understand where the confusion comes from. I was born in south London, to Dominican and Bajan parents, and I spent a few years growing up in Syria. The first time I met a Black Scottish person, I was floored. I felt like a Love Is Blind contestant clapping eyes on the man who is going to be my fiancé. I was aware that I was staring intently and kept repeating: 'It's so weird trying to match the face to the voice…'
That was nearly 35 years ago, before the internet was a thing. It wasn't that I didn't know they existed, I just hadn't met any. And besides, a little cognitive dissonance never hurt anybody.
Meeting Black Scots was really exciting, and we exchanged stories of our experiences growing up in our respective cities. And as we often do, we found that many of us from the African diaspora have been through things that are eerily similar. We have all been compared to Black people that we looked nothing like – and at times, you will even embrace the lies. For me, it's 'Naomi? Yes!' 'Whoopi? No…' Casual racism is frightening in its unoriginality, wherever it's from.
As August means the Edinburgh Festival, the Black population in Scotland has increased exponentially, with Black performers moving up there for a month to demonstrate that equality does exist: they are all going to lose approximately £10k putting on their shows, just like their white counterparts.
Someone on social media had a stab at an explanation as to why African-Americans are so fascinated by our Dreadlock Ness Monster, saying: 'Part of the reason that Black people don't know anything Black people in Scotland is 'cause they barely teach Black people in America about Black people in America. This time next year, American textbooks are liable to say that Martin Luther King was a public speaker. So no, we don't know about all of y'all.'
And most Black people in the world have known for quite a while that African-Americans suffer from the same affliction as their white counterparts – from Main Character Syndrome. It's all about them, and whatever's happening to them is vitally important to everyone else around.
In this, they are like our slow, dysfunctional cousins who don't realise that we all have the same grandparents. They love to speak about how their experiences as 'descendants of slaves' makes them unique, meanwhile Black Caribbeans and Brazilians (who have the largest population of people of African descent outside of Africa) are left thinking: 'Then what are we – chopped liver?'
To our African-American cousins, I say this, in the spirit of kindness it is intended: get over yourselves. All of our ancestors made the same boat ride, they just got off at different stops. Do some exploring. Go out and discover seasoned haggis, and how well rum goes with Irn-Bru. And just wait until you hear about Black Japanese folk…