I'm 39 and never wear makeup. I want to be accepted the way I naturally look.
Shubhangini Prakash is a 39-year-old whose mother never encouraged her to wear makeup.
She dabbled with eyeliner and eye shadow in college, but has chosen not to wear makeup anymore.
She thinks that going makeup-free makes her feel like her real self all the time.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Shubhangini Prakash, founder and CEO of skincare line Feather and Bone.
When I was around 6, my mom told me lipstick would stain my lips. I had asked her to help me put some on for the school play, and she refused. Instead, I asked my neighbor's mom to do it for me. The next morning, I looked in the mirror and remembered thinking my lips had changed color. I'm not sure whether they had, but it confirmed that my mom had been right.
I never wore makeup again until I left the UK to start college in the US. In the UK, I felt confident without makeup, but not in the States. To fit in at college, I started wearing eye shadow and eyeliner. It felt like I was becoming a different character, not myself. I also found the products irritated my eyes.
Since then, I've rarely worn makeup, including for my two weddings.
When I entered the workforce at 22, I stopped wearing makeup unless I was messing around and being silly with my friends. I wore nothing except a little lip gloss at work, out socializing, or on dates. I wanted to be accepted and respected for who I was, not because of the makeup put on my skin.
On nights at bars with my friends, I didn't get the same attention as other women with dolled-up faces. I couldn't compete, but I would not wear makeup — I didn't feel 100% like myself with it on.
I wanted to find a romantic partner who liked me, not some made-up version of me.
If men don't have to wear makeup to attract a woman, why should a woman spend hours on her makeup for a man? I wanted to be seen as equal to a man, and not wearing makeup has become a way to channel that desire for equality.
At 30, I was getting ready to launch my business, and a makeup artist offered to provide me with a full makeover for a commercial I was working on. I'd never had a full face of makeup in my life. Walking around afterward, with concealer, foundation, blush, eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick, I got all the looks from people I passed.
It confirmed what I knew to be true — that makeup could get me noticed. Rather than making me want to wear it more, the makeover made me want to wear makeup even less. That boost of confidence I had from a face full of makeup was the confidence I wanted with my natural face.
Shortly after, I met the man who would become my husband at a rave. He was attracted to me without makeup and liked me for who I really was. I was the first woman he dated who didn't wear makeup. He never gave me slack for it, even though he was occasionally surprised that I didn't wear it when we were going out.
At our Christian wedding, I barely wore any makeup, and even at my traditional Indian wedding, I kept telling the person doing my makeup it was all too much. I wanted to look in the mirror and see myself on one of the most important days of my life.
As I get older, I know I won't change my mind about makeup. Antiaging culture takes away the beauty of aging, even though it is just a normal process of life. I am wiser now. I know more. I make better decisions. I am proof of a life lived, and my skin shows that. I don't have to accept what media and society tell me growing old looks like. My skin will sag and become wrinkly, and that's OK. We're not immortal.
I now have two sons, but if I ever have a daughter, I want to pass on what I inherited from my mom — a confidence and acceptance of my own, raw self, makeup-free.
Read the original article on Business Insider
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