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How becoming a mum changed my relationship with my dad

How becoming a mum changed my relationship with my dad

Straits Times10 hours ago

The writer's dad often turned to YouTube to learn children's songs and dance moves to entertain his granddaughter. ST ILLUSTRATION: CEL GULAPA
'Don't eat so much.'
A short sentence like this can cut both ways, 20 years apart.
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40 S'poreans going on 'Single's Inferno' trips to Japan to find love, minus the cameras, Singapore News
40 S'poreans going on 'Single's Inferno' trips to Japan to find love, minus the cameras, Singapore News

AsiaOne

time5 hours ago

  • AsiaOne

40 S'poreans going on 'Single's Inferno' trips to Japan to find love, minus the cameras, Singapore News

SINGAPORE - In a few weeks' time, five women and five men will be flying to a villa in Japan on a trip inspired by South Korean reality television series Single's Inferno. The participants will not have met before going on the four-day, three-night trip, and will share a room with those of the same gender, as in the show. They are paying $1,111 each for a yacht trip, an Osaka day trip and an activity of their choice such as Universal Studios Japan and tea ceremony in Nara, among other things. Around 40 Singaporeans have signed up for three such trips, planned by Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts design practice student Leo Ching Ling, 24, and business owner Ric Ang, 50. The pair, who met while Ms Leo was interning at a company Mr Ang was working in, have held around 10 social mixers around the numerology theme since August 2024 under their events brand Until 1111. Their parties offer compatibility readings, tarot card readings and purpose-infused crystal-making. Numerology is a practice that assigns a number to individuals based on their birthdate and name. The belief is that these numbers hold insights into personality, life path and potential. The parties are some of the latest initiatives to help sparks fly among singles, offering an alternative to dating apps. Others include singles pitch nights and dating mixers bringing games seen on platforms like YouTube and TikTok to the public. These events tend to be small-scale, with guests vetted for a more intimate setting. The idea for the trip came when Mr Ang's friend, who owns a villa in Japan, reached out to him to collaborate. Ms Leo said that they shared the idea on TikTok, and many expressed interest. "A trip together would be a good chance to create a core memory with each other, as well as a potentially long-lasting relationship." Participants asked to see photos of one another before the trip, but Ms Leo refused, wanting to keep the "surprise element" and not have them judge one another based on physical looks before meeting. Held every month, their mixers are attended by 20 to more than 40 guests bonding over speed dating, tarot readings and other activities. For some singles, signing up for such mixers is a way to expand their social circle and boost their odds of finding a partner after leaving school. Ms Lim Yun Qian and Ms Lynette Kee started a series of Plus One dating mixers in February as an answer to dating app fatigue, under their Footnotes initiative, which offers hosted experiences. "I think the idea of a 'meet cute' or meeting in a real life situation is something that everyone wants," said Ms Lim. "We want to make people comfortable," she added, likening their role to hosting a house party. Nearly 1,000 signed up for the three mixers, but each session was capped at 48 participants. Participants were chosen based on a form outlining their goals for the event, with online profiles reviewed to curate a more compatible group, said Ms Kee. Participants, who were aged 24 to 35, came with a friend as their "plus one" to put them at ease. Ms Lim and Ms Kee, who are both 29, tapped their expertise as full-time creative producers to create experiences usually seen on dating shows on TV and YouTube. The mixers' activities included doing a pitch for the single friend, helping to pass on messages to someone their friend was eyeing, or going around doing challenges on a Bingo card. The prize for the winning pitch was a 10-minute speed date with someone of the winner's choice, set up by the organisers. Proving that Singaporeans are not boring: Meet the people making dating fun again Falling out of love with dating apps? Young singles switch to events, other algorithms, old tricks The meticulous curation of guests paid off for one attendee, who said: "The selection of people was quite well put together. Everyone was friendly and willing to meet people. The activities made things a little less awkward." Added the 30-year-old content strategist, who declined to be named: "App interactions are fleeting, so an in-person event feels like you get to know people a bit more before you cast judgment." Although he is not dating anyone from the two Plus One mixers he attended, he has made friends who he has gone bouldering with. Ms Joell Tee, who founded Dinner with Strangers in 2022, started co-hosting singles pitch nights called Fishbowl, inspired by American reality TV show Shark Tank, where entrepreneurs make business pitches to investors. "The premise feels quite low stakes, friendly and safe. Signing up with your friends kind of takes the edge off a dating event, because even if nothing comes out of it, it's still something that you were able to do with your friends, and it's still fun," said the 28-year-old, who works as a project manager in a bank. Around 160 people in their early 20s to late 30s have attended the three pitch nights held since August 2024. Attendee Denise Ong, 27, said going through the motions on dating apps has turned into "a numbers game where everyone starts to treat each other as disposable". "While the main objective (of going to Fishbowl) is to find a partner, I think it was nice to be reminded of everyone's humanity and individuality," said the marketing executive. It was her first time being pitched to a crowd. "I was a bit nervous, naturally. But I saw the deck beforehand, plus she's my best friend and knows me inside out, so overall I was enjoying it, even though I was a little 'paiseh'." Still, some singles have reservations about attending newfangled dating events, which may not meet expectations. Ms Ong went for a social mixer by Never Strangers, run by entertainment company Unfiltered, where she was drawn to a participant but later found out that he was not looking to date. She added: "There were even people who signed up together, and just didn't talk to anyone the entire night." "I think the more 'mass' these events are, the more superficial and unlikely it is to have good conversations, and I really do feel like that's what it's all about." Another participant Khor Kai Xiang, 29, who went for the same event, said he was matched with a man due to male participants outnumbering females. One Fishbowl participant, 29-year-old Nick, said he and his friend put together more "haphazard" presentations than the other participants who took the pitch more seriously. Nick, who works in finance and declined to give his full name, said: "We were slightly taken aback that some participants went straight to listing their expectations or requirements. The subjects ranged from marriage, number of children, to the infamous BTO (Build-To-Order flats)." Less crowd, more chemistry Meanwhile, Mr Lim, a 26-year-old financial adviser who did not give his full name, said his friends questioned why he was going to an Until 1111 mixer, pointing to a stigma attached to dating events. Little did he know he would meet a girl at the party's speed dating segment - though their brief conversation went "terribly". She was not interested in him at first, as he was a year younger than her and shared the same name as her former boyfriend. But he slipped her a note to say he enjoyed talking to her and hoped to keep in touch. They went out with a group of friends from the event a few weeks later, and he succeeded in asking her out after. "I was really lucky. These things are really hit or miss," said Mr Lim, adding that both his girlfriend and himself are introverts. "She's funny in her own way. She's a bit weird, but I'm also weird, and I just feel like she just complements me, and I can talk to her about anything. She's sort of like my safe place." Yet others have found love in interest group communities. Mr Luqman Rahamat, 33, met his girlfriend Elise Tan, 28, at non-fiction book club, The Saturday Book Club. Mr Luqman, a maths tutor, and Ms Tan, a pre-school teacher, first chatted about decluttering, and Ms Tan lent him a book on minimalism called Love People, Use Things. They then went to check out the social enterprise bookshop Books Beyond Borders. She was intrigued by his blog posts detailing his travels and analysing dating apps and other topics using mathematical concepts. The couple made it official over a year ago. "It feels like the universe planned it for me. I was in a phase of self-improvement and didn't have any expectations on finding a long-term partner," said Mr Luqman. "She made me feel like I am enough and also taught me how to love myself more and accept my flaws." To romantic hopefuls, he has this advice: "If dating apps don't work, move to communities where you can meet people, be yourself and find someone who can appreciate and accept you for who you are." This article was first published in The Straits Times . Permission required for reproduction.

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