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Here's how to be refused service with a smile

Here's how to be refused service with a smile

Flies can be just as incorrigible as sharks, too, as reader Julia Bates discovered when one of the bothersome buzz-brats landed – splat! – on her dinner, which happened to be a scrummy pizza.
Or at least she assumed it was scrummy. Though after watching, aghast, as the fly made a paddling pool out of the cheese and tomato topping, she was loath to have a nibble.
'Don't flick it off,' said Julia's hubby, clearly desperate to block any unnecessary violence at the dinner table.
'It'll make a great topping,' he added persuasively. 'Probably taste like anchovy.'
Geography for beginners
English teacher Kate Russell once marked an essay about classic beatnik novel On the Road by Jack Kerouac.
At a memorable juncture in the script the student mentioned the journey across the vastness of America. Though instead of talking about the West Coast and the East Coast, he said the characters in the book travelled from the "right side" of the country to the "left side".
Kate explained to the student that this wasn't the most accurate of descriptions.
'Wit's the big deal?' countered the defensive scholar. 'Same difference, intit?'
Jobbing actress
Proud dad Ross Bennett was bowled over by his daughter's performance in an amateur play.
'You were great!' enthused Ross to the 12-year-old.
'Don't get carried away,' shrugged the youngster. 'I know I was good, but I want a secure career. I'm thinking mechanical engineering.'
'What's happened to kids?' sighs Ross. 'When I was my daughter's age, I wanted to be an international super-spy.'
Madcap moniker
We mentioned people with wacky names.
Finlay Dixon tells us: 'If I ever have a kid, I'm calling him Andy.'
Nothing unusual about that, our readers may conclude, until Finlay adds: 'I'm spelling it &y.'
Slow learner
On a Glasgow train Kenny Robertson spotted a chap perusing the best-selling political diatribe How to Be an Antiracist by American polemicist Ibram X. Kendi.
A cheeky chappie leaned across to the engrossed reader and said: 'I see you've just started the book. Does that mean you're still a racist?'
Choc-full of goodness
Health-conscious Christine Lawrence was informed by a pal that the more colourful the salad, the better it is for you.
'So,' she says, 'I've replaced croutons with M&Ms.'
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Hulk Hogan was ‘being run into the ground' before he died with work schedule while dealing with 25 surgeries in 10 years
Hulk Hogan was ‘being run into the ground' before he died with work schedule while dealing with 25 surgeries in 10 years

The Independent

timean hour ago

  • The Independent

Hulk Hogan was ‘being run into the ground' before he died with work schedule while dealing with 25 surgeries in 10 years

Hulk Hogan admitted he was struggling with his health in the year before his sudden death Thursday and some of those close to him thought he was taking it too far, The Independent has learned. But others close to him said it was just his way, and that he insisted on being on the road and showing up to meet fans because he was 'running the show'. Jimmy VanderLinden — who goes by "Jimmy Van" online and founded the professional wrestling publication Fightful — alleges he spoke with people close to Hogan who were upset at his heavy work schedule. "People close to Hulk Hogan had told me they weren't happy that his management team was 'running him into the ground,' promoting his beer brand over the last year," VanderLinden wrote in a social media post. The 71-year-old wrestler, whose real name was Terry Bollea, had been promoting Real American Beer, which used his likeness for its branding, in the last few months of his life. The company provided The Independent with the following statement: 'Hulk Hogan wasn't being 'run into the ground' — he was running the show. As the co-founder of Real American Beer, this brand was his vision from day one. He led by example, insisted on being on the road and showed up because he wanted to. Not for money. Not for press. For his fans. He built this for them — and no one was going to stop him from showing up and shaking every hand. That's what being a Real American meant to him.' A spokesperson for Empire Agency, which repped Hogan but had no involvement in Real American Beer or its marketing push, told The Independent they also thought he was pushing too hard before he fell ill. 'We also thought that he was going too far with his health, but we couldn't do anything, because of his deal with the promoter and some other representative dealing with this beer business,' the spokesperson said. Rumors swirled on social media in the weeks before his death that Hogan had health issues. Last month, Todd Clem — otherwise known as "Bubba the Love Sponge," a radio show host with a long and sordid history with Hogan — told his listeners that "allegedly Hogan is in the hospital and I've heard people say that he might not make it." Hogan's management and family denied the claims. The wrestler's wife, Sky Daily, said at the time that he'd only undergone neck surgery. His friend, former WWE personality and longtime in-character manager Jimmy Hart, insisted in a post that Hogan had recently been singing karaoke. The post has now been removed. A spokesperson for Hogan told The Independent last week that Hogan's surgery had "indeed been successful" and that there was "no reason to panic." "He just needs from time to time a medical check up," the spokesperson added. But by July, Clem hadn't changed his tune, warning listeners that "I don't know if we'll ever see Hogan again." On July 21, just days before the WWE icon's death, Clem wrote an update on X, citing people close to Hogan, that the wrestler had been moved from a hospital "to his home in a hospital bed with private doctors." "Transfer was done in secrecy — unmarked ambulances, garage entry, middle of the night," Clem wrote. The Clearwater Police Department said during a brief press conference that Hogan was "experiencing a serious medical related issue" when they arrived. He died after he was transferred to a hospital. Hogan addressed his health when he last September appeared on an episode of fellow WWE star Logan Paul's"Impaulsive" podcast. Hogan noted at the top of the show that he'd been up until 3:30 am the night prior, and mentioned he'd only gotten two hours of sleep another night that week. When asked by Paul's co-host, Mike Majlak, if he needs sleep, Hogan says he does, and noted that when he doesn't get enough sleep, it hurts his back. 'Oh God yeah bro, if I don't man, my back and everything..." Hogan says, implying his back will hurt if he doesn't get enough sleep. He then told the men about all of the surgeries he's needed in the last decade. 'I've had like 25 surgeries in the last ten years. Ten of them were back surgeries,' Hogan told Paul. 'Nobody told me this gimmick stuff was fake. I've had 10 back surgeries, both knees and both hips replaced, shoulders — everything.' Hogan was active in professional wrestling across a number of companies from 1977 to 2012. Despite the staged outcomes, the slams and slaps and chair shots were real, and took a toll on his body. He recalled advice he received from the legendary Andre the Giant about protecting his body in his early career. 'Andre used to tell me, 'Boss, don't fall down. You won't get back up,'' Hogan said. 'It was like a 22-foot boxing ring that had lumps in it, boards sticking up—it was horrible.'

Ellen DeGeneres admits 'we just can't keep up' amid struggle with new life in UK
Ellen DeGeneres admits 'we just can't keep up' amid struggle with new life in UK

Daily Mirror

time2 hours ago

  • Daily Mirror

Ellen DeGeneres admits 'we just can't keep up' amid struggle with new life in UK

Former talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres has opened up about the continuous challenges of adapting to rural life in England with wife Portia de Rossi since relocating from the US Ellen DeGeneres has opened up about life in the English countryside following her move to the UK with wife Portia de Rossi in November 2024. In a recent interview in Cheltenham with journalist Richard Bacon, the former talk show host discussed adjusting to rural life, the couple's unexpected struggles with livestock, and the ongoing challenges facing LGBTQ+ rights in the United States. ‌ DeGeneres, 67, described how she and de Rossi initially embraced their new surroundings, attempting to maintain the land around their home by riding lawn mowers daily to manage the pastures for their horses. However, the effort soon became overwhelming for them both. ‌ 'We just can't keep up with this,' DeGeneres recalled telling de Rossi, who then suggested they bring in sheep to help with the overgrowth. According to DeGeneres, the idea quickly spiralled into a series of huge complications. ‌ "[Portia] said, 'Let's just get four sheep to put in the pastures with the horses,' and we did. And the next morning they were just out and they were gone. They just climbed right out and then I had to buy electric fencing." The fencing did not solve the issue for the couple as the former talk-show host explained: 'They were in there for a week. Then one got out and then they all got out. And then I was like I have to build an actual fence. So we built a fence and it was so ugly, it ruined everything. So I had to pay to take the fence down.' ‌ She continued, 'I spent so much money on those sheep. I can't even tell you how much those sheep cost. It was Portia's idea.' DeGeneres also noted the added burden of the constant cleanup as she said: 'They used the restroom everywhere, and the dog would get to it.' ‌ Despite the mishaps, the couple have still been exploring various parts of the UK since moving across the pond last November. DeGeneres humorously remarked on British place names, admitting she had trouble pronouncing them. 'This is Cheltenham right? I don't go, 'Chelten-ham.' Y'all are in such a hurry with your names. It should [be] 'By-sister,' but it's 'Bicester,' right?' She joked that town names must have been created with little time to spare: 'We don't have time for that.' ‌ During the interview, DeGeneres also addressed more serious concerns, particularly regarding LGBTQ+ rights in the U.S. 'The Baptist church in America is trying to reverse gay marriage. They're trying to at the very least stop it from happening in the future and possibly reverse it.' She revealed that she and de Rossi are already preparing for the potential impact of U.S. policies. 'Portia and I are already looking into it and if they do that, we're going to get married here in Cheltenham. Have cheese on us,' she said.

Sydney Sweeney ‘kills woke advertising' as she writhes topless in denim in sexy new jeans campaign
Sydney Sweeney ‘kills woke advertising' as she writhes topless in denim in sexy new jeans campaign

Scottish Sun

time2 hours ago

  • Scottish Sun

Sydney Sweeney ‘kills woke advertising' as she writhes topless in denim in sexy new jeans campaign

Click to share on X/Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) SYDNEY Sweeney's sexy new jeans campaign has been hailed as the 'end of woke'. The throwback ads, in which the actress writhes round in American Eagle denim, have given the clothing brand a £250million boost. Sign up for the Entertainment newsletter Sign up 7 Sydney Sweeney's sexy new jeans campaign has been hailed as the 'end of woke' Credit: American Eagle 7 The actress writhes round in American Eagle denim 7 Sydney has given the clothing brand a £250million boost In one, Sydney, 27, appears to refer to her genes before the camera pans down to her cleavage. Smiling, she quips: 'Hey, eyes up here.' A voice then says she has 'great jeans'. Another shows her bra-less while she is also seen under the bonnet of a Mustang, before wiping her dirty hands on the back of her jeans. READ MORE ON SYDNEY SWEENEY GOOD JEANS Sydney Sweeney goes topless under just a denim jacket for American Eagle shoot The campaign is said to have added £250million to American Eagle's value. One fan wrote on X: 'Woke advertising is dead. Sydney Sweeney killed it.' Others also mocked Jaguar, which used androgynous models last year. One posted: 'The Jaguar rebrand is just going to be Sydney Sweeney putting on some driving gloves.' The caption for the post read: "Not a cameo. Not a test run. Sydney Sweeney just dropped the denim performance of the year. @Sydney_Sweeney has great jeans, and you can too." Reacting to the video, and Sydney's denim collection, one person wrote: "This is epic !!!" Another added: "Love her. Icon indeed." Massive American film star becomes favourite to be next Bond girl as she is pals with new 007 director 7 Beauty Sweeney leans over a car for the campaign 7 Sydney, 27, appears to refer to her genes before the camera pans down to her cleavage Credit: American Eagle 7 The new denim collection is called Sydney Has Good Jeans Credit: American Eagle

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