Ajay Devgn, Kajol and mansplaining in full view: It wasn't his question to answer

India Today

3 days ago

A woman is asked a question. A man interrupts and answers on her behalf. It's a common scene - in households, at workplaces, at public events. However, the incident we are highlighting happened last week at the trailer launch of the Hindi film 'Maa'.Kajol, who headlines the film, was present on stage, standing with Ajay Devgn, her husband, when a journalist asked her a question about motherhood, and the need to make the film industry more supportive for new mothers. The 50-year-old is now a mother of two - a daughter, Nysa, and a son, Yug.advertisementIn fact, the journalist, a woman, was careful to recall that Kajol worked on 'My Name Is Khan' when her daughter was just a year old - probably expecting the actor to answer from her personal experience. And then, it happened.
Ajay took his mic, said "sorry to interrupt", when he had not even let Kajol complete her sentence, and started to mansplain. What else can you call it?'Mansplain', a word added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2018, refers to a situation where a man explains a topic a woman is often more familiar with or is better suited to address, such as issues related to womanhood or female experiences. Like in this case, a question about being a mother, and the changes the industry should be introducing for new mothers.advertisement"Nysa was just one year old when you shot 'My Name Is Khan'. And now, we are talking about new moms who want an eight-hour shift in the workplace, in the industry, the film industry. What do you think of it, as a mother? Is it right? And people reacting to it, it is not going down well with people. What do you think about this?," the journalist asked."I love the fact that you can work less...." - the eight words Kajol spoke before Ajay "interrupted", and started to explain."I am sorry to interrupt. It's not that it's not going down well with people. Most of the honest filmmakers will not have a problem with this. Apart from just mothers who are working for eight hours, there are people who have usually started working for eight-nine hours in a shift. It's person to person, and most of the industry does understand this (sic)," he said. What he said is not the point of discussion here. What might have compelled him to speak is. The question mentioned producers, and he might have thought that, as the producer of the film, he was in a better position to take that question. However, the point still stands. The question was NOT addressed to him. Neither could he have answered it in the capacity of a 'new mother' or simply as a working woman in the industry.advertisementHis answer, whether important or futile, took away the one thing that the question sought - personal experience, emotional insight, the very connection and authenticity only Kajol could have brought in.The idea is not to understand when to speak, but to know when not to. One can always contribute to a woman's response or statement, without denying her the right to speak in the first place. But taking over the space - claiming the spotlight and leaving the woman merely standing, listening, feeling sidelined, silenced, and reduced to an awkward sigh - is what unfolds in an environment driven by inequality of voice.What Ajay did at that event - right in front of cameras and journalists - is no different from what many men routinely do in workplaces: cutting a woman off, speaking over her, or declaring, 'What she means is...' without letting her finish. Classic mansplaining, in full view.This is more about conditioning, you see. The fact that a widely popular, fairly respected man, known across the country, could do it and get away with it speaks more about how mansplaining has been normalised.advertisementHonestly, I figure now that not many would have even realised that it was a classic case of mansplaining when the video first appeared. Nobody to question, because it doesn't look like a larger problem. And that's precisely what is the problem.Taking a woman's agency, her right to speak about herself, motherhood - a role that she will always be playing in her life, demanding industry changes as a woman - all of that were Kajol's to discuss, to opined on.And if you ask me, the stage totally belonged to Kajol. Even from a promotional or a business point, Kajol is the biggest name in 'Maa'. The spotlight was hers. What Ajay had to do there was simple - extending a supportive smile, a helping hand, and the loudest clap to tell the world that a husband was proud of his wife.No, I am not saying he is not proud of his wife or that they don't share an equal relationship. This is not even a criticism of Devgn. This is more to highlight the very normalisation of mansplaining, by even the most aware people in the world, the leaders of the industry, if you may.advertisementThat urge, as a man, to sometimes 'simplify' what a woman is saying, because he thinks he knows better, or that he's helping her with a better articulation of her thought - all of that is wrong and counter-productive, even. Let her be her own anchor. Let her have her moment - whether of dismissal or appreciation - let it be hers to own. Especially, if you have no business in explaining what she, by every means, should and is more familiar with.
Mansplaining comes from a deep-rooted sense of superiority. It's the product of centuries of gender bias - where men are seen as default authorities and women as passive listeners. You have to look at it as not just ignorance, but as entitlement. It comes from that quiet satisfaction of assuming she couldn't possibly know more - simply because she's a woman.This is a conditioning that is wired early - when girls are asked to listen, discouraged to lead in families. When they are taught that male voices matter more, men will decide for them - their present, their future, their place in the world.Understanding mansplaining and calling it out is breaking that chain of misogyny. It's not just resistance, it's a rebellion, honestly. One dialogue, one objection, one man at a time.Must Watch
IN THIS STORY#Ajay Devgn#Kajol Devgan