I love my husband but he's terrible in bed, I can't stop cheating on him as it's like I have a housemate, not a husband

Scottish Sun

3 days ago

The woman insisted she still loves her husband and has no feelings for her fling
OH NO I love my husband but he's terrible in bed, I can't stop cheating on him as it's like I have a housemate, not a husband
A WOMAN has left people divided after she revealed she can't stop cheating on her husband.
Despite being married for 10 years, the woman admitted sex was never a huge part of their relationship, and when they did get down to business it was never great.
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The woman's fling with a co-worker showed her what she was missing
Credit: Getty
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The woman said her sex life with her husband has been non-existent for two years
Credit: Getty
Taking to Reddit, she explained that she tied the knot with her beau when they were both pretty young, so the bedroom department didn't matter much to either of them.
"We get along super well, rarely fight, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. It's pretty perfect....except in the sex department," she confessed.
"Neither of us were very experienced when we got married, and everything else was so good we didn't spend much time developing that part of our relationship," she added.
Since the couple, now both 31, put more effort into their careers their sex life got even worse and it got to the point they hadn't had sex in two years.
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Although the woman said she'd had "many conversations" about the situation it never got anywhere as her husband would always say he's simply not interested and "can't bring himself to do it."
"He swears he's in love with me, not gay (I asked), and not interested in someone else (also asked), but he just has no interest in sex," the woman noted.
Although she claimed to genuinely love him, the relationship felt more like best friends and roommates than a romantic partnership, she said.
Then, the woman ended up sleeping with a co-worker and couldn't get enough, so went back again and again.
She said there was no romantic feelings involved but plenty of physical attraction - and the sex was better than anything she ever imagined.
She asked fellow Reddit users what she should do about the situation.
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"How I can get the same sexual enjoyment from my husband, or learn to live without it?" she asked.
But people didn't give her much sympathy, and one person slammed: "Bullsh*t. You don't love your husband if you can't stop cheating. That is such a bullsh*t thing to say. Leave him so he can find someone better."
A second commented: "If you truly love your husband then you can find a way to stop cheating.
"I'm not trying to be judgmental but look it from a different perspective. How would you feel if you were terrible at sex and your husband cheated on you?"
And another wrote: "Should you have cheated? No. However, I don't think you're a terrible person.
"You addressed the issue of your sex life with your husband and he said he just wasn't interested. That's not selfish - you have needs. Sex and intimacy is important in a relationship.
"You need to tell him though and do what is best for both of you."
Why do people cheat?
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it's normal to know each other's passwords and use each other's phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: "If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful."
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.
People cheat for a variety of complex and often overlapping reasons— emotional, psychological, situational, or even cultural.
Whilst there are many cheating red flags to look out for, the most common reasons for someone cheating are:
Unmet emotional needs
They feel neglected, unappreciated, or unloved in their current relationship.
Cheating can be a way of getting validation, attention or intimacy they feel is currently missing.
Opportunity and temptation
Sometimes it's less about deep unhappiness and more about acting on impulse, seizing an opportunity, or the lack of self-control and boundaries.
Boredom or desire for novelty
Long-term relationships can lose excitement, combined with a craving for newness, thrill, or variety.
Several men have revealed the real reason they cheated on their partners, and it wasn't because they were bored.
Ego and insecurity