SG worker shares new colleague is being bullied, asks if she should step in

Independent Singapore

22-05-2025

SINGAPORE: A local employee has shared on social media that a newly hired colleague is being relentlessly bullied in the company group chat based on her looks, and is now questioning whether she should speak up or remain silent to protect her own workplace relationships.
The employee, who works in an international company made up of both local and expatriate staff, said that the local team shares a casual group chat typically used for lighthearted banter.
'We usually engage in lighthearted small talk, and everyone is genuinely nice to each other; buying snacks for each other, and taking the initiative to celebrate birthdays, just a friendly environment overall,' the employee said.
However, she revealed in her Reddit post on Tuesday (May 20) that the tone of the chat shifted noticeably following the arrival of the new colleague, whom the employee described as 'a little chubby and admittedly not very good looking.'
From the very first day, she said, some team members began targeting the newcomer with personal insults and body-shaming comments.
The employee then detailed several examples of the bullying. 'For example, if she wears clothes that are even a little wrinkled to work, someone will type in the group chat, 'Confirmed, she never irons her shirts—so lazy.'
'When she takes a snack from the pantry, remarks like, 'Eating like a pig every day, no wonder so fat,' appear. Even the fact of her falling sick was not spared, with one staff commenting, 'Confirm eat too much until gastric.''
The employee said that the same individuals who make these comments act civil towards the new hire in person, though she noticed that they still occasionally make 'snide remarks disguised as jokes.'
'The new hire is genuinely quite a nice person, and I really feel bad for her,' the employee added.
Though she has not contributed to the bullying, the employee admitted that she has remained silent out of fear. She worries that speaking up might isolate her from the rest of the local team or create tension that could affect her working relationships.
Seeking advice from the local community, she asked, 'What would you do in this situation? I'm thinking whether this silence makes me selfish or complicit?' 'Go befriend her and be that genuine colleague for her.'
Users quickly flooded the comments section with concern, criticising the toxic group behaviour and encouraging the employee to take action rather than remain passive.
One user pointed out that staying in the group chat might do more harm than good: 'If they are doing it to her, they are doing it to you behind your back. I'd make an excuse and leave the chat before it gets leaked. Just being in the chat will make you seem complicit and unprofessional.'
Another user questioned the value of preserving ties with such colleagues: 'Why would you want to preserve those relationships with your local staff group? After seeing all those bad-mouthing and snide remarks towards her, doesn't it reveal to you what kind of person they are?'
Meanwhile, others offered suggestions on what she could do instead. One user wrote, 'You cannot change what others are doing. But you can change yourself – go befriend her and be that genuine colleague for her. Badmouthing will stop when they see she has friends and that they are no longer the majority.'
A fourth added, 'Silence always makes you complicit, bruh. Speak up and speak out tactfully and nicely. Playfully, if you have to, to keep the peace. Have a spine and say something when you see something wrong, especially if it is directed towards someone.'
What you can do if you witness workplace bullying Workplace bullying
Career experts recommend taking the following steps if you observe a colleague being bullied at work:
Offer your support. Don't be afraid to reach out to the person being targeted. Befriending them and letting them know that they're not alone in the workplace can go a long way.
Confront the bully. If you personally know the individual responsible for the bullying and feel safe, confident, and comfortable, consider having a calm and respectful conversation with them. Point out how their actions may be affecting the team and workplace morale.
Report the issue. If the bullying continues or worsens, bring it to the attention of a supervisor or your HR department. Alternatively, you can reach out to the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP) for guidance and support.
Read also: 'I just want to shout at them' — Man says he's frustrated that his elderly parents always come to him for the 'smallest matters in life'
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)