EXCLUSIVE Race Across the World brothers who captured the nation's hearts reveal emotional impact of their loveless childhood and how the show brought the 'two old codgers' back together

Daily Mail​

16 hours ago

There is a single photograph in Melvyn Mole's living room, given pride of place on the windowsill.
It shows him and his brother Brian standing on a far-flung beach, arms around each other's shoulders, both pleased as punch at reaching this particular destination – in the world, and in life.
Millions of TV viewers witnessed that photograph being taken, by a passing beach photographer, and heard Melyvn's heartbreaking admission that he didn't really do family photos; indeed, he confessed he didn't have a single one on display in his house.
'Well, you take this one and put it up,' said his little brother. And he has.
There was some jesting about whether Melvyn – a self-confessed cheapskate – would make do with a frame from his beloved Poundland, or splash out on the sort of posh one his flashier brother would buy.
In the event, he didn't have to shell out at all.
'My wife Julie found a nice one we already had,' he says, rather neatly confirming the idea that sometimes the things you need in life are under your own nose.
The journey of Melvyn and Brian Mole, two Coventry-born brothers aged 65 and 62, has captured British hearts in recent weeks.
Their 'journey' in the wider sense provided some of the most unexpectedly moving moments in recent telly history
The pair were competitors on BBC's Race Across the World; 'two old codgers', as they put it, taking on the youngsters in a challenge that involved navigating their way across China, Nepal and India with limited funds, no mobile phones and only each other (and their childhood memories, or demons) for company.
They covered 8,700 miles in the race, which took nine weeks.
They didn't win, even though by the end they had emerged as the viewers' favourites. The top prize of £20,000 went to mother and son pairing Caroline and Tom.
But the Mole brothers certainly won the affection – and respect – of the public.
And their 'journey' in the wider sense provided some of the most unexpectedly moving moments in recent telly history.
For these were brothers who – courtesy of a very difficult childhood – had drifted apart.
They weren't particularly close when they signed up for the show, although they had been inseparable when they were youngsters.
All that changed during the epic trek, with nights spent in dodgy hotels and cooped up on buses.
The pair talked, properly talked, for the first time ever, really.
'And we come from a family that never talked,' says Brian, pointedly. 'But when we did, we reconnected, on national TV, with all these people invested in us.'
He still seems slightly incredulous, while Melvyn just seems delighted.
'I found my best friend again,' he says. 'And we talked about things that we'd never really discussed. It was therapeutic. I certainly came to understand things a bit more.'
I meet the pair on Zoom, because back in the real world they live 300 miles apart – Melvyn, the eldest brother, in Redcar and Brian in a village near Litchfield.
But the brotherly bickering is in evidence from the start when Melvyn struggles to get himself on the Zoom call, and Brian shouts directions at a blank screen.
What emerges over the next hour, though, is a display of – dare we say it – true love.
The final episode ended with Brian and Melvyn being asked about brotherly love, which led to fans on social media urging them to say 'I love you' to each other. So have they, now they are home?
'Well we don't say the words, because we are a couple of old blokes and people of our generation don't do that,' says Brian, looking vaguely appalled.
'I mean, I'm not turning around to Melvyn all the time, saying 'I love you'. That would be stupid. We still do the very British pat on the back and firm handshake, and all that nonsense.'
But you do love each other, anyone can see that!
'Yes, that's the point,' says Melvyn. 'We probably do but we are never going to say it.'
Those who watched the show marvelled at how the brothers were chalk and cheese.
They talked differently (Brian has a 'posh' accent; Melvyn less so), and seemed to come from different worlds.
Brian was a successful businessman (before retirement he ran a very successful financial advice company) who enjoyed the finer things in life, while Melvyn was a straight-talking driving instructor who likes a bargain.
But viewers gradually became aware that theirs had not been a happy childhood, and that the way they had been parented had not only contributed to them going in different directions in life, but led to both having 'ghosts', as Melvyn put it, to lay to rest.
Even allowing for different generational approaches to parenting, this family sounds strikingly disconnected and cold – although the brothers both stress that 'at the time, it was all entirely normal because it was all we knew'. With hindsight, though, it was a childhood entirely devoid of love and affection.
'We did talk about it on Race, actually,' says Brian. 'I think it was at the fishing lake, where we discussed it and we said that neither of us could remember a time where a parent put an arm around us.'
Of particular note were the discrepancies in their schooling. While Brian had been sent to boarding school - at the age of eight - Melvyn had not.
Viewers wanted to know more, particularly when Melvyn revealed that he felt his brother had been sent away to school because their parents did not want Brian to turn out like him. 'We need a documentary on this,' said one social media commentator.
That may not be forthcoming, but only because the brothers are still quite protective about their parents, who only died recently (their mum eight years ago, in her eighties, and their dad in 2020, at the age of 93).
But even from what they say today it's clear how the lack of love and warmth in a child's life can have lasting impact.
Melvyn, for example, made the decision not to have children, and is open about why.
'One of the reasons I didn't want children was that I was afraid I may make my children feel the way I felt,' he says. 'I don't really know how else to explain that. I didn't want to put myself, or any children, in a position where they would turn round and say 'I hate you' or 'I really do not want to be with you'.
'I actually think, now, that I'd have made a great dad, but I didn't have the confidence to see it through. I didn't know whether I was capable.
'Some people might say this is very sad, but it became a life choice for me, and I accepted it early on.'
His feelings towards his parents are clearly complicated, even now. On the one hand he says he 'does not want to slag them off', but was there at least a stage when he hated them?
'I certainly went through a phase, yeah. Yes. I tried to talk to them. I couldn't understand why we couldn't just communicate.
'I couldn't understand why I was being treated the way I was, but there was never a right time to talk about it. But I did try. Up until the dying day.'
Brian adds: 'Our parents didn't do talking, or conversations, and Melvyn did try. I remember him phoning me in tears. I don't know why but he got the brunt of it. It was worse for him.'
The brothers were born in Coventry to parents who ran a successful business together.
'Sometimes it felt like their business was more important than their children, if that makes sense,' says Brian.
Melvyn nods. 'They were close to each other, and we happened to sometimes be in the way.'
Still, they had each other. They chat away about how they were bosom buddies, always out adventuring while their parents were at work. These were latch-key kids to an extreme level.
'It was great at the time, don't get me wrong,' says Melvyn. 'Our parents didn't know where we were most of the time, didn't really care either, so we'd just head off on our own adventures.
'In the summers, we'd just take off for weeks on end, getting the bus to Bridlington, hiring a rowing boat, rowing out to the harbour, fishing, coming back the next day, selling the fish. We'd camp where we could, sleeping in farms, anywhere really.'
It would be unthinkable today, considered neglect, they agree.
Brian says: 'I wouldn't think of letting my children do the things we did.'
The boys were inseparable – until they were separated. Neither knows, to this day, why their parents decided to send Brian away to boarding school, and they find it incomprehensible that no-one sat them down to explain anything.
'I wasn't asked if I wanted to go, or even told that I was going. It just happened,' Brian says.
Nor was Melvyn prepared in any way for his brother's sudden absence. 'He was just gone. My best friend was just gone.'
Whatever the reasons behind it – and Melvyn clearly believed he had done something wrong – this forced parting set the brothers on different paths.
Neither was particularly happy from this moment on, although it was only during the show that they confessed this to each other.
Brian says: 'I just hadn't realised that Melvyn hadn't been told anything about me going, and hadn't realised it had such an impact.'
Nor did Melvyn, who was heading into his teens then, realise that, actually, rather than feeling special, his brother was utterly miserable at boarding school. They have since talked at length about this, and joke that they have been each other's therapists.
There is a touching moment during this interview when Melvyn says to Brian 'tell her why you don't take sugar, Brian'.
Brian shudders a little, and mutters about it not being relevant, but then does relate the story of turning up at the boarding school refectory for breakfast, knowing no-one and feeling utterly alone.
'I was sitting there with my Cornflakes and I asked the boy next to me to pass the sugar, please, and he just completely ignored me. I sat there, and I thought: 'I'd better have my Cornflakes without sugar then', and I've never taken sugar since.'
He can see now that his boarding school life made him.
'Not because of the academic side. I didn't do particularly well in my exams, but I hardened up pretty quickly there. You do, because you are on your own. It gave me a sense of independence, a knowledge that I needed to make my own way.'
And he did, admirably so, eventually running his own company. He married in 1987, and went on to build 'the sort of family I never had'.
He has two children and three grandchildren now, and has clearly been a hands-on and loving parent: 'I wanted to be the opposite of what my parents were.'
There was a sense of Melvyn being presented as the less successful brother in the show, but he insists he doesn't feel this. He has been married to his beloved Julie for 44 years now, 'and we've achieved everything we wanted in life. We may not have the financial backing that Brian has, but I'm really happy with what we have'.
Each one acted as the other's best man at their respective weddings, so it's not as if they completely lost touch over the years. But they both acknowledge that there was 'a drift'.
Was Melvyn resentful of Brian's success? 'No,' he insists. 'I was always pleased for him, but we just made different choices and we were on different paths.'
It was Melvyn, a fan of Race Across the World, who first saw the appeal for contestants, and suggested to Brian that they apply.
'I knew Julie wouldn't want to do it,' he says.
Brian was quite bemused at first, but up for the challenge. Neither really expected to be able to recreate those childhood adventures that had so bonded them – but say now that they are very glad they did.
'Because it was an adventure,' says Melvyn. 'How many people can do what we did – and experience all those amazing places and things? And at our age. But it shows it's never too late.'
Before they get too soppy, Brian points out that 'if you have to spend 10 or 11 hours on a bus with your brother, you're going to have to talk', but they both seem thrilled with the outcome nonetheless.
'It's taken 40 years but I've got my best friend back,' says Melvyn.
What now? The pair have linked up in person again several times since filming finished – 'in Doncaster, which is at the halfway point between us'.
They have a family day out planned at Ascot. And the villa holiday that was mooted during the show – with Brian footing the bill?
Melvyn, the mischievous one of the pair, reminds me that 'during the show you heard Brian Mole say he was going to book a villa and invite everyone to come'.
Brian says: 'Would you come, though? You'd have to put up with my grandchildren.'
Melvyn is already packing his bags. 'Yes... if it's big enough and has a bar. I'm there.'
Watch this space for the family photos to come.