UK couples clash over recycling habits as much as bin duties, finds new study
A new source of disagreement has emerged in households: recycling. A survey of 2,000 couples living together found that while common arguments revolve around cooking, doing the laundry, and taking out the rubbish, recycling has become a surprising point of contention. The research revealed that 15% of couples regularly argue about recycling, with a third of those admitting these disagreements occur as often as once a week.
For 23%, they admitted such disputes have escalated into more serious arguments, with 15% going an entire day or longer without speaking to their partner as a result. The most common recycling disagreements among couples include putting items in the wrong bin, not rinsing out plastic containers, and leaving empty toilet rolls in the bathroom.
However, 28% often suspect their partner deliberately gets the recycling wrong just to wind them up. Others attribute it to laziness, or simply because they think their method is better. A third of respondents feel their views on the importance of recycling differ from their partner's.
Chris Latham-Warde at, non-profit recycling programme, Every Can Counts, who commissioned the research said: 'There is lots to remember when it comes to recycling, including what goes in each coloured bin and which day to put the bin out.
'So while it's not surprising that couples find themselves quarrelling on the topic, it also shows how many people care about getting it right, which is so important given all the benefits of recycling for our planet."
Encouragingly, the study also revealed that 73% of households have a system in place for their bins and 79% feel well-informed about the guidelines in their local area.
In honour of Earth Day, Every Can Counts highlighted the importance of recycling with its unique 'CANvas' artwork unveiled at the annual Egg Rolling event in Preston - as well as hitting the streets to quiz passersby on their own recycling habits.
Chris commented: 'We hope to encourage worldwide action to help protect not only our precious planet but also our futures.
'It was great to attend the popular Egg Rolling event in Preston, revealing the impressive artwork designed by local mural artist, Shawn Sharpe, and quizzing the public on their recycling habits, hopefully solving a few domestic arguments along the way.'
TOP 10 DISAGREEMENTS OVER RECYCLING
Putting things in the wrong bin
Leaving empty toilet rolls in the bathroom rather than in the recycling
Not washing out things properly before recycling
Piling food into the kitchen caddy so it overflows rather than emptying it and replacing with a new bag
Leaving dirty pots and plastic out for me to clean
Putting food waste in the regular bin
Leaving recycling on or next to the bins rather than in them
Whose turn it is to take the recycling out
Not folding cardboard properly
Whether greasy pizza boxes can be recycled
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She had green eyes that 'could see through walls', Chris remembers, not unruefully. When he and his Russian girlfriend broke up, Chris, originally from Sussex and now living in Maine in the US, admits he had Siberia (Elena came from the city of Novosibirsk) on the mind. He did the obvious thing: went and got a pair of three-month-old Siberian husky puppies: Loki and Freja, brother and sister – also with piercing eyes, but icy blue, especially Loki's. 'People would just stop on the street as he walked by.' Chris had owned dogs before– labradors. 'I figured that huskies were labradors with fur coats on,' he says, talking to me from his pickup truck after an early morning paddle in his kayak. 'They absolutely are not.' The dogs got bigger, and wilder. 'I was completely ill-equipped to train them as the role of dominant alpha doesn't come naturally to me. They didn't seem to want to reason with me. Despite four hours of walking a day, it wasn't enough.' 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'For some, there may also be relief, but there's still something that needs mourning – the relationship, the hopes and dreams that are no longer possible.' Of course, the pain will be much greater if you didn't want the relationship to end. 'There are all these different phases we know about: of grief, feelings of anger, shock,' she says. 'I work with people who are devastated by the end of a relationship, don't know which way is up or down. They feel disoriented, lost, broken, numb.' Numb is what Victoria, in Switzerland, felt when her long-term partner unexpectedly walked out. 'I doubted myself and everything. I was in shock, not able to feel anything – no anger, no pain, nothing,' she tells me. 'How could anyone feel so numb? Was I really dead inside? I decided to put it to the test, put myself into a situation I knew would provoke strong emotions to see if I would still be indifferent to life. My solution? Do something that had been on my bucket list for a long time – skydiving.' And so she found herself in an aeroplane, strapped to an instructor, looking out at the mountains, but still not registering any emotions. It all changed on hearing the instruction to open the door and thinking: hang on, we're on a plane, the door shouldn't be open. After watching two other pairs jump and disappear it was Victoria's turn. 'I was on the edge; I closed my eyes and let myself go. The adrenaline rush was something I've never felt in my life. I felt fireworks in my brain. Freefalling hundreds of metres above ground, I was happy, I was free. I took in the beautiful day, the wonderful landscape, my audacity to put myself through all that, the fact I was not only alive but ecstatic.' After landing safely, Victoria had a grin so big it began to hurt. 'I wrote immediately in my journal a note to myself: 'This period is not going to be easy, and it will take time to feel like yourself again, but life is much more than this episode. You will heal and you will laugh and love again.' It took years to fully get over my heartbreak but, as I promised myself, I went back to who I was, eventually. Since then, I always share with anyone going through a heartbreak: have you considered skydiving?' Or indeed backpacking? When Rachel's relationship of seven years came to an abrupt end, she found herself in a rut. 'I phoned my boss, gave my notice and began to plan,' she tells me. 'A couple of months later, I flew out of the UK for a solo round-the-world backpacking trip, at the ripe old age of 38. The following two years, I backpacked through Asia and Australia, then visited 30 US states in a beat-up old camper van. I gained a whole new view of the world, met a wonderful girl and emigrated to Germany to start a new life.' Harrison says that in virtually every relationship there are things you might like to do but, 'because of your dynamic, what works in your relationship, they don't happen'. It might be intolerable, because you can't properly express yourself, and it could contribute to a relationship ending. Or it could be something to do after the relationship ends – set off round the world with a pack on your back. A geographical move, a change of scene, is something that cropped up a lot among the people I spoke to. After her breakup, Deepa travelled from the US to Europe and immediately fell in love all over again: with Prague, where she signed up for an English teaching course. Now back in the US, she admits: 'We are sort of back together. But I would leave him for Prague and my own dreams all over again!' Harrison says the urge to go far away is understandable. 'Something possibly humiliating has happened, or you feel betrayed; maybe everything you see is going to remind you of it. It's quite human to wish to have a bit of space to lick your wounds.' She does have a couple of words of warning. 'The feelings will follow you. Going to the other side of the world isn't necessarily going to stop you hurting about the loss of your relationship. You might get there and feel just as awful.' The old problem with any kind of travel is that you tend to bring yourself – and your baggage – along, too. Separation might be an opportunity to get unstuck, says Harrison. 'You can claim some of those things back that you may have let your partner do, learn a new skill or do something intrepid, and discover you're more competent in that area than you realised. It's reclaiming some identity, and that could be quite positive and exciting.' When John in Belfast was, in his words, 'given the old heave-ho' by a girlfriend, he decided to fill the empty space in his life, and in his room, with a synthesiser. 'I learned the notes, a few chords, practised scales – no longer was I going to be pigeonholed as a mere boyfriend. I had recovered from the rejection and was forging ahead with a brilliant new life and future, quickly on the way to becoming the next Jean-Michel Jarre or Dave Greenfield [of the Stranglers] … ' But then John met someone else. 'She swept me off my feet, leaving the instrument to gather dust.' It became a repeated sequence, a loop perhaps, if you were looking for a musical analogy. 'I found myself with another synth to fill the gap, but it, too, found itself in the corner as I hit the dancefloor, new girlfriend in hand … until, inevitably, another black-and-white-keyed friend with lots of buttons and switches joined the growing army of 1980s music technology.' You won't have seen John on Top of the Pops. 'I was never single long enough to program or even play them. But by the time I bought a house and tied the knot, I had an enviable collection of synthesisers and other beats-making hardware. Today, most have gone, but I do occasionally find myself browsing vintage synthesiser listings on eBay, to keep the marriage sharp … ' Sign up to Inside Saturday The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend. after newsletter promotion Sometimes it's about a change in physical appearance. I heard about lizard tattoos, drastic haircuts and dyes (orange and blue). Han in Korea got breast-enlargement surgery after divorce. 'But I realised they were too big for my lifestyle, so I downsized two years later. Since then, I have promised myself not to make important decisions after a breakup.' Weight loss came up. Significantly, in the case of Christian in California, who dropped 100lb (45kg). 'After 15 years married to a narcissist, I was 315lb and very unhealthy. I wasn't always like that, but people in toxic relationships often end up not taking care of themselves and gaining weight.' Christian joined his healthcare provider's supervised weight-loss programme and was able to lose that weight over about eight months. 'The road is still ongoing, but the divorce was definitely drastically needed, not only for my happiness, but also for my health.' It wasn't the only change Christian made. 'I threw away my wardrobe of mostly black clothing and started wearing colours again. I wish I had done it sooner.' Rhyannon in Gloucestershire transformed her health – physical and mental – through open-water swimming. After ending her unhappy marriage, she realised she desperately needed significant change in her life. As well as getting a new job, she committed to swimming outdoors throughout the winter. 'After years of neglecting my body and succumbing to the demands of work and family obligations, I stumbled upon the pure exhilarating joy of cold-water swimming. It rekindled a long-buried need to indulge in activities that spark joy within me. In my late 40s I confronted my fears, including the intimidating uncertainties of what lay beneath the surface, and discovered I had the ability to swim distances I never thought were possible.' Three years after the end of her marriage, Rhyannon swam the length of Windermere – nearly 11 miles (18km). 'Change can feel daunting, yet it's those moments of stepping into the unknown that can uncover the profound joy we deserve.' Harrison says that separation means 'a shift from thinking about the needs of the relationship and more to protecting yourself. There can be a need to go into survival mode, and that might go alongside trying to take more care of yourself, look after things that maybe you haven't.' She also warns that dealing with a breakup is a long process as well as a stressful one. 'And it isn't necessarily linear – you might feel better, then go back to feeling not so good.' She thinks that people can make big decisions very quickly 'to get away from something really painful. My advice is often to slow things down, because you can't really bypass the mourning that needs to be done at the end of a significant relationship.' Some of the decisions I heard about might have benefited from a bit more time. Lawrence in Manchester had a partner who was obsessed with crystals, which he went along with because she was fun. He even collected some for her while out walking, including one 'which I was admittedly rather taken with myself, as it was almost perfectly shaped like a neolithic hand axe. Obviously, it wasn't really a neolithic hand axe, I told myself, as cavemen weren't making axes out of pretty crystals, were they …' You see where it's going, right? After Lawrence was dumped, he decided to sell his collection of pseudo-mystical rocks, which he did to a 'wizard' who only really seemed interested in the hand axe – £60 for the lot. The folly of his actions began to emerge on a trip to Lisbon where, in the prehistory section of the city museum, Lawrence found a cabinet of crystal hand axes. Then, on another trip, to the Scottish Highlands where he had originally found his, he learned 'it was one of few confirmed sites for hunter gatherers in the UK. And that their favourite material to work with was – you guessed it – crystal.' Lawrence doesn't know for sure that it was the real neolithic deal, but he has seen on the internet cruder versions selling for £4,000-£5,000. 'I think it should be in the National Museum of Scotland.' And remember Chris in Maine? You could say his purchase of two Siberian huskies to replace his one Siberian girlfriend wasn't the wisest of decisions. But this one does at least have a happy(ish) coda. Four years later, clearing out his basement, Chris came across the dog sled he'd forgotten about. With no use for it, he decided to take it to the breeder he had got the dogs from (and to whom he had later returned them). 'There were all these huskies running about, some loose, others in pens with runs attached. I asked her what happened to Loki and Freja. 'They're here, over in that pen,' she said. I stayed where I was, she went and opened the door, and out looked this big blond head with bright blue eyes – Loki! He took one look at me and came charging, followed by his sister. They jumped up, pinned me against the wall with their paws on my shoulders, licking me to pieces.' They had a better life now, Chris says – dog sledding in northern Maine in the winter, then spending summers on the farm. Has he seen them again? Does he visit? 'I think that would be too confusing, definitely for me.' The Russian ex had quickly found – and married – someone else. And what about Chris, what's his current relationship status? 'Single. And wary.'
